Bryn
Thanks for your heartfelt response to my last rambling post . Our pasts may be a bit different but we both started "hard drugs" rather late in life and we both ended up in the same boat.
Its weird how there is always room in that boat.
Sorry to hear you also had a close friend who couldnt or wouldnt battle the demons - I guess in this life ,your very,very lucky if you dont have someone close to you you loses this battle.
So many of those people from back then- aids,od,s, prison, etc...
I wonder why we made it thru? - battered and bruised a bit ,but we did make it thru. Is there a reason? Is there a message we should carry? Probaby not.We should be grateful and just do our best . For ourselves and for our children.(youknow- Teach your children well-thier parents hell)
Sometimes I feel wierd when my son asks about my past- my traveling around,going to Dead shows and being pretty irresponsible- but I think to him-they are just stories from a time long ago . He really cant put the dad he sees now-with the person in those stories.
He was watching me as I watched a "Grateful Dead documentory on public t.v last night & as I excitingly tried to explain what was going on, he just said"Dad, I dont even know what your talking about?"
I thought to myself- Thank God.
I guess no matter what. no matter what happened, our main job is to give our children a chance & a code that they can live by.
I look at my son now & I think that somehow I did that. With my parents help the kid took the disfunctional hand he was dealt and made the best of it.
It makes me feel good -, if I do nothing else,at least I accomplished something.
He accepts that his dads wackey history the wacky times that I went thru and the fact that Im on mdone. He passes no judgements.
He respects me for carrying on -going to work everyday and providing him with the childhood he did have- safe and family oriented. He knows ,being the whole situation, is wasnt easy. As you know ,his mother wasnt around for any of his childhood- so although he feels cheated on one end,he feels blessed on another.
Well enough - I better get in the shower, shave, and ready to start another week-
thanks for listening- talk to ya later
love&respect
jack
Dear Jack,
I hope you don't mind my responding on here. I was just thinking about you and wondering how you are. You sound good from your post.
You comments about your son make me think of my granddaughter. My daughter (her mom) was engaged to her dad, but we found out just before the baby was born that he was a liar and a cheater with a HORRIBLE temper problem. Thank God for a keylogger on our computer that revealed this to my daughter in black and white and she threw him out. We feel bad that our granddaughter doesn't have a daddy in her life, but in his case none is better than one! Someday we hope she has a "daddy" to give her the love she deserves. Until then, she has two uncles and a pop-pop giving her LOTS of love!
Love,
Susan
I hope you don't mind my responding on here. I was just thinking about you and wondering how you are. You sound good from your post.
You comments about your son make me think of my granddaughter. My daughter (her mom) was engaged to her dad, but we found out just before the baby was born that he was a liar and a cheater with a HORRIBLE temper problem. Thank God for a keylogger on our computer that revealed this to my daughter in black and white and she threw him out. We feel bad that our granddaughter doesn't have a daddy in her life, but in his case none is better than one! Someday we hope she has a "daddy" to give her the love she deserves. Until then, she has two uncles and a pop-pop giving her LOTS of love!
Love,
Susan
