And the 12 steps of Alcoholics Anonymous I have 5 years clean and sober today and I am very grateful. I am proof the Program works.
On the other hand, it is too hot to stay at work so I am going home. Have a great day, everyone.
congrats on 5 years, WOW!!!! thats so comendable and you sound so happy and content. i am even more impressed, kudos to you :) keep up the good fight!
terrianne
terrianne
5 years! Thats is fantastic. You give those of us in the early stages so much hope.Some days seem like months.To look at those of you on here that have been successfull for years proves it can be done,thanks.~KIM
That is a milestone... treasure it... congrats and go something special for you... and yes it does work if you work it....
God bless you...
Teresa
God bless you...
Teresa
5 years....wow. I want what you have.
Thank you for being one of my inspirations.
Cowgirl
Thank you for being one of my inspirations.
Cowgirl
5 years....i'm like cowgirl...i want what you have!!!
Congratulations...maybe you need to post in Success Stories
Congratulations...maybe you need to post in Success Stories
Holy Cow! Five years is so awesome! And here I am, strutting around over four months...lol j/k
Way to go! I hope you're proud of yourself.
DeNae
Way to go! I hope you're proud of yourself.
DeNae
DeNae...you just strut away girl. 4 months is big.
Love you avitar...wish I knew how to get those cool ones.
Lisa
Love you avitar...wish I knew how to get those cool ones.
Lisa
Thanks, Lisa.
Whenever I want a different avatar, I just do a search on, "avatar", or if I know what I want, for example, this one, I did a search on "Thanksgiving avatar".. there are a ton of websites with lots of cute ones.
DeNae
Whenever I want a different avatar, I just do a search on, "avatar", or if I know what I want, for example, this one, I did a search on "Thanksgiving avatar".. there are a ton of websites with lots of cute ones.
DeNae
5 yrs CONGRADS
Way to go 12 stepper.
Electric? I hope you got yours back.
They closed Broward schools for rest of week. Only 50% ofschools have power. Also red cross has been using the schools for displaced people.
We need the Guard badly here. The crooks are rampant and traffic is a mess.
This is a sad situation .Wish I had a gun.
It is a mess here Pouring BIG TIME--12 stepper what county do you live in?
Hope your safe and congrads- Jeff
Way to go 12 stepper.
Electric? I hope you got yours back.
They closed Broward schools for rest of week. Only 50% ofschools have power. Also red cross has been using the schools for displaced people.
We need the Guard badly here. The crooks are rampant and traffic is a mess.
This is a sad situation .Wish I had a gun.
It is a mess here Pouring BIG TIME--12 stepper what county do you live in?
Hope your safe and congrads- Jeff
It is fantastic that you have 5 years!!! Congrats! Your milestone is an inspiration to me. I have 6 days and I want to be where you are today in another 1,815. Keep up the great work.
12 Stepper:
I am happy you are here. I am greatful for those who have walked this road before me. Thank you for being here sharing your experience, strength and hope.
Rachel
Congrads on your five years.i know you have suffer alot to get where you are .Im so happy for you.Wish it was me saying the same as you.Ive read your post and you have posted to me and i loved your words of encourgment.You are a inspiration too us all.Thank you for your kind words of wisdom.crystal
Thanks everybody.
Denae, cherish those 4 months. You are right where you're supposed to be.
Jeff, I'm in Fort Lauderdale. The people across the street from me have power but not me. I hear the latest thing is stealing generators. Hmmmmm.. Oops, old behavior hehe Boss says we're only staying at work for an hour. The days are much longer sitting at home. My Gameboy is almost out of power. sigh
Denae, cherish those 4 months. You are right where you're supposed to be.
Jeff, I'm in Fort Lauderdale. The people across the street from me have power but not me. I hear the latest thing is stealing generators. Hmmmmm.. Oops, old behavior hehe Boss says we're only staying at work for an hour. The days are much longer sitting at home. My Gameboy is almost out of power. sigh
my dear friend 12 stepper -
i've taken the liberty to go back and visit a place where we first met online and copy some of the messages you posted during your first 90 days. your's is a powerful story and not something to be archived in pages that not too many visit. i use to stand back in awe, when new to recovery, when i heard of people who amassed some time. the awe really was envy because i was use to being instantly gratitfied and not willing to do what it takes to get there.
anyhoot - thought i'd take a trip down memory lane this evening and paste a few messages that you posted during those early days. couldn't put as many in as i wanted too, due to message length; however, i've changed names (except my own) to initials to protect anonymity...and wow i had such a great time reading as your spirit awakened.
so read on, my friend...kind of like ralph edwards "this is your life!" :)) i'll post to you in the end.
~*~*~*~*~*
12 stepper's first 90 days and few before those 90 ;)
Date: Fri Sep 22, 2000 8:45 am
Subject: seeking opinions, please
I went to a new shrink yesterday. The first since
moving to FL. My question is along with an increase in
Paxil he prescribed vistoril (sp?). Does anyone have
any experience with this crap? I don't want to get
started again but I can't handle the constant anxiety.
Thanks in advance. Peace
-------
Date: Thu Oct 12, 2000 8:45 am
Subject: Re: Relapse again and what I did
Yes, friends, I did it again. This time, I
followed the advice of another recovering addict and
called the pharmacist and told them I abused the pills
and please put that in the computer. He suggested I
also call the doc so I'll do that today. This time was
fioricet (headache pills) and they are a narcotic. I knew
better than to ask for them but heck, I'm an addict and
don't have control. Today is 5 days clean. Please send
prayers. I need them :-) Peace
------
Date: Thu Oct 19, 2000 7:31 pm
Subject: I've decided...
The best thing about being clean (well one of the best) is waking up and not going nuts wondering where your morning pill is coming from :) Just my humble opinion. Peace
------
Date: Wed Nov 1, 2000 5:20 am
Subject: warning!
I just found out, once again, not to take that
first pill. On the 26th I got 90 xanax. They're gone.
Two days ago I got 30 fioricets. Yesterday they were
gone. Man, do I feel terrible!!! Withdrawal comes back
no matter how long you take pills. I've been up all
night. The thing that gets me is...I KNEW what would
happen. I KNEW I'd go through all the pills as fast as I
could. I KNOW the withdrawal is going to be hell.
Someone please hit me in the head with a hammer and knock
some sense into me. No, not you, Denise :-)Please
don't tell yourselves you can take just ONE! Relapse is
for everyone. Well, I'm back to day one and damn glad
to be here!!! Peace
------
Date: Tue Nov 14, 2000 11:06 am
Subject: Re: Still have pain
Hi J - I've been off fioricet for 13 days and
I know what you're going through with the
headaches. THEY ARE AWFUL!! But not bad enough for me to
pick up a drug today. (Denise, can you believe I
finally said that? haha) I've been stopping and starting
pain pills and tranks for years now but this is the
first time I'm doing it with the help of AA. Yes I'm an
alkie too. I hope I NEVER have to go through the hell
of withdrawal again. I, too, have had headaches
forever and even though I don't need an excuse to take a
pill, I jumped at this one. Now, since the pain is so
much worse, I wonder why. But "this too shall pass"
they tell me. Check with your doc and dump your pills
as soon as possible. The headaches are bad but
having a clear mind is heaven. Write me if you like.
I'll do what I can for you. Good luck and welcome. Peace
------
Date: Wed Dec 13, 2000 1:07 pm
Subject: Re: Pain Management
Hi YJ! Well, I've been told by people in
recovery that if we are curious about getting well,
chances are we need to get well. And most of the
newcomers I've been meeting (and myself) look for recovery
long before they start working at it. I'm not ashamed
of being an addict and an alcoholic. I'd be happier
if I wasn't but I am. It's just a part of me. I am
much happier being drug free and I've been taking Rx
drugs since 71 all perfectly legal and prescribed. I'm
not saying it's easy or pain free. If I have a
migraine I prefer to laying a dark and quiet room that fill
myself with fioricets again. But this is me. My
headaches (rebound and other) are less frequent and less
intense than they have been the past month or so. I think
it's just a matter of time for them to disappear
completely. I also have a Higher Power in my life now that I
can give my pain to. I don't believe anyone is going
to give up their pills unless they are sick of being
sick. The pain is secondary to all the emotional crap
the pills cause (to me). After 42 days I still have
withdrawal but not bad enough for me to pick up a pill again
and I've had them offered to me by doctors. It's MY
choice not to say yes. Maybe someday it will also be
yours. I hope so. Peace
------
Date: Thu Dec 14, 2000 3:49 pm
Subject: emotional crap
OK YJ, you asked for it! haha. I'm glad you did
though because it's something I need to define for
myself too.
When I was taking all my pills, xanax, vicodin, fioricet,
valium, diet pills, tylenol 4, and anything else that would
ease my pain, I thought I was sooo wise. I thought I had
all of my emotions buried in my soul. What I didn't realize
at the time was only some of my emotions were numb. The bad
ones were magnified. My depression was worse. My anger was
popping up for no reason at all. My anxiety was bad because I
was worried about running out of pills. I was paranoid because
I was afraid everyone I knew was after my pills and my sanity
haha what sanity?). I'm sure there's other stuff but I can't
think of it right now.
So where was the pleasure I was supposed to be getting? I
got headaches from the fioricets, anxiety from the
diet pills and xanax, aches from the vicodins. My body
had built up such a tolerance that the pills weren't
doing a damn thing but feeding my addiction. But, of
course I wouldn't admit this to anyone. I even tried to
lie to myself that they were working, even though I
knew I was addicted to them. I guess I DID learn
something in rehab besides where to go for more pills. I
was willing to die than give up my xanax. I wanted to
die whenever I ran out. Yes, there were suicide
attempts. If you've been through xanax withdrawal you maybe
can understand why.
So one day I gave up. It hasn't been easy but I'm doing it.
The bad part is my real emotions are returning and I don't know how to
deal with them. I've been taking pills for too long.
But I recognize happy, cheerful, alert, interest,
maybe not all emotions but they are things I haven't
felt in a long time. Today I feel anger and I have no
idea why. But I'm going with it and I'm not going to
use over it. I'm sure it will eventually pass. All
the other bad stuff has. If it gets real bad I call
my sponsor. She's better than a therapist. She loves
me. Sorry this turned into a book. Thanks for letting me
share. Peace
------
Date: Fri Dec 22, 2000 6:58 am
Subject: Re: hello friends
Good morning, S. I'll tell you like they
told me at f2f meetings...We'll love you till you
learn to love yourself. Hang in there. We are all on
your side. I never needed a reason to use either. I
thought 'well, my eyes are open, I must need a pill'. Now
I can open my eyes and say 'Thank you, God, I don't
need a pill right now'. Of course during the course of
the day the damned craving comes back but I have
faith in the promises and I know this too shall pass.
I'm lucky because it would be a really big hassle for
me to get drugs now. I made sure my doctors know I'm
an addict so I know I can't get anything from them.
It's easier for me to go to a meeting whether I need
it or not haha. Thanks for letting me share. Peace
------
Date: Fri Jan 5, 2001 1:02 pm
Subject: Re: Who would have thought?
Isn't it amazing what a Higher Power can do if we
just let Him?? I'm amazed at myself too. I had more
stupid excuses for taking pills. If I couldn't find one
I'd create one. I didn't realize at the time the
pills were causing the problems instead of fixing them.
I didn't think I'd ever stop because of course I
wasn't ADDICTED, I was just SICK! LOL Yeah, right!! And
I couldn't quit because I would literally DIE
without my pills. Now I know I will die if I continue to
use them. It's just great to be alive!!! Thanks for
letting me share :) Peace
------
Date: Fri Jan 26, 2001
Subject: Re: NEW MEMBER
Aren't the Promises wonderful??!! They are really
something I'm looking forward to. I have noticed they are
beginning. My constant craving for a buzz is gone!!! THAT IS
A MIRACLE!!!!!!! Peace
------
Date: Tue Jan 30, 2001 3:12 pm
Subject: Re: 90 DAY CHIP FOR 12 STEPPER!
Thank you, Denise!!! I picked up my first 90 day
f2f chip at a noon meeting and I felt like I was
picking up a 5 year medallion. haha I always told people
not to be proud of me when I quit using before
because I didn't have enough faith in my recovery. Now I
can FINALLY say "hey! I'm proud of me too!!" I am a
miracle!! Love ya
------
haha!?! well...i had the distinct pleasure to meet you f2f in january of 01 - my first online friend of many that i got to meet f2f. and look at you! it's time to pick up that 5 year medallion. i'm so gosh darn proud of you and will be forever grateful to you for suiting up and showing up in life to trudge with me.
i love you with all my essence, 12 stepper. congratulations on your 5 year!
i've taken the liberty to go back and visit a place where we first met online and copy some of the messages you posted during your first 90 days. your's is a powerful story and not something to be archived in pages that not too many visit. i use to stand back in awe, when new to recovery, when i heard of people who amassed some time. the awe really was envy because i was use to being instantly gratitfied and not willing to do what it takes to get there.
anyhoot - thought i'd take a trip down memory lane this evening and paste a few messages that you posted during those early days. couldn't put as many in as i wanted too, due to message length; however, i've changed names (except my own) to initials to protect anonymity...and wow i had such a great time reading as your spirit awakened.
so read on, my friend...kind of like ralph edwards "this is your life!" :)) i'll post to you in the end.
~*~*~*~*~*
12 stepper's first 90 days and few before those 90 ;)
Date: Fri Sep 22, 2000 8:45 am
Subject: seeking opinions, please
I went to a new shrink yesterday. The first since
moving to FL. My question is along with an increase in
Paxil he prescribed vistoril (sp?). Does anyone have
any experience with this crap? I don't want to get
started again but I can't handle the constant anxiety.
Thanks in advance. Peace
-------
Date: Thu Oct 12, 2000 8:45 am
Subject: Re: Relapse again and what I did
Yes, friends, I did it again. This time, I
followed the advice of another recovering addict and
called the pharmacist and told them I abused the pills
and please put that in the computer. He suggested I
also call the doc so I'll do that today. This time was
fioricet (headache pills) and they are a narcotic. I knew
better than to ask for them but heck, I'm an addict and
don't have control. Today is 5 days clean. Please send
prayers. I need them :-) Peace
------
Date: Thu Oct 19, 2000 7:31 pm
Subject: I've decided...
The best thing about being clean (well one of the best) is waking up and not going nuts wondering where your morning pill is coming from :) Just my humble opinion. Peace
------
Date: Wed Nov 1, 2000 5:20 am
Subject: warning!
I just found out, once again, not to take that
first pill. On the 26th I got 90 xanax. They're gone.
Two days ago I got 30 fioricets. Yesterday they were
gone. Man, do I feel terrible!!! Withdrawal comes back
no matter how long you take pills. I've been up all
night. The thing that gets me is...I KNEW what would
happen. I KNEW I'd go through all the pills as fast as I
could. I KNOW the withdrawal is going to be hell.
Someone please hit me in the head with a hammer and knock
some sense into me. No, not you, Denise :-)Please
don't tell yourselves you can take just ONE! Relapse is
for everyone. Well, I'm back to day one and damn glad
to be here!!! Peace
------
Date: Tue Nov 14, 2000 11:06 am
Subject: Re: Still have pain
Hi J - I've been off fioricet for 13 days and
I know what you're going through with the
headaches. THEY ARE AWFUL!! But not bad enough for me to
pick up a drug today. (Denise, can you believe I
finally said that? haha) I've been stopping and starting
pain pills and tranks for years now but this is the
first time I'm doing it with the help of AA. Yes I'm an
alkie too. I hope I NEVER have to go through the hell
of withdrawal again. I, too, have had headaches
forever and even though I don't need an excuse to take a
pill, I jumped at this one. Now, since the pain is so
much worse, I wonder why. But "this too shall pass"
they tell me. Check with your doc and dump your pills
as soon as possible. The headaches are bad but
having a clear mind is heaven. Write me if you like.
I'll do what I can for you. Good luck and welcome. Peace
------
Date: Wed Dec 13, 2000 1:07 pm
Subject: Re: Pain Management
Hi YJ! Well, I've been told by people in
recovery that if we are curious about getting well,
chances are we need to get well. And most of the
newcomers I've been meeting (and myself) look for recovery
long before they start working at it. I'm not ashamed
of being an addict and an alcoholic. I'd be happier
if I wasn't but I am. It's just a part of me. I am
much happier being drug free and I've been taking Rx
drugs since 71 all perfectly legal and prescribed. I'm
not saying it's easy or pain free. If I have a
migraine I prefer to laying a dark and quiet room that fill
myself with fioricets again. But this is me. My
headaches (rebound and other) are less frequent and less
intense than they have been the past month or so. I think
it's just a matter of time for them to disappear
completely. I also have a Higher Power in my life now that I
can give my pain to. I don't believe anyone is going
to give up their pills unless they are sick of being
sick. The pain is secondary to all the emotional crap
the pills cause (to me). After 42 days I still have
withdrawal but not bad enough for me to pick up a pill again
and I've had them offered to me by doctors. It's MY
choice not to say yes. Maybe someday it will also be
yours. I hope so. Peace
------
Date: Thu Dec 14, 2000 3:49 pm
Subject: emotional crap
OK YJ, you asked for it! haha. I'm glad you did
though because it's something I need to define for
myself too.
When I was taking all my pills, xanax, vicodin, fioricet,
valium, diet pills, tylenol 4, and anything else that would
ease my pain, I thought I was sooo wise. I thought I had
all of my emotions buried in my soul. What I didn't realize
at the time was only some of my emotions were numb. The bad
ones were magnified. My depression was worse. My anger was
popping up for no reason at all. My anxiety was bad because I
was worried about running out of pills. I was paranoid because
I was afraid everyone I knew was after my pills and my sanity
haha what sanity?). I'm sure there's other stuff but I can't
think of it right now.
So where was the pleasure I was supposed to be getting? I
got headaches from the fioricets, anxiety from the
diet pills and xanax, aches from the vicodins. My body
had built up such a tolerance that the pills weren't
doing a damn thing but feeding my addiction. But, of
course I wouldn't admit this to anyone. I even tried to
lie to myself that they were working, even though I
knew I was addicted to them. I guess I DID learn
something in rehab besides where to go for more pills. I
was willing to die than give up my xanax. I wanted to
die whenever I ran out. Yes, there were suicide
attempts. If you've been through xanax withdrawal you maybe
can understand why.
So one day I gave up. It hasn't been easy but I'm doing it.
The bad part is my real emotions are returning and I don't know how to
deal with them. I've been taking pills for too long.
But I recognize happy, cheerful, alert, interest,
maybe not all emotions but they are things I haven't
felt in a long time. Today I feel anger and I have no
idea why. But I'm going with it and I'm not going to
use over it. I'm sure it will eventually pass. All
the other bad stuff has. If it gets real bad I call
my sponsor. She's better than a therapist. She loves
me. Sorry this turned into a book. Thanks for letting me
share. Peace
------
Date: Fri Dec 22, 2000 6:58 am
Subject: Re: hello friends
Good morning, S. I'll tell you like they
told me at f2f meetings...We'll love you till you
learn to love yourself. Hang in there. We are all on
your side. I never needed a reason to use either. I
thought 'well, my eyes are open, I must need a pill'. Now
I can open my eyes and say 'Thank you, God, I don't
need a pill right now'. Of course during the course of
the day the damned craving comes back but I have
faith in the promises and I know this too shall pass.
I'm lucky because it would be a really big hassle for
me to get drugs now. I made sure my doctors know I'm
an addict so I know I can't get anything from them.
It's easier for me to go to a meeting whether I need
it or not haha. Thanks for letting me share. Peace
------
Date: Fri Jan 5, 2001 1:02 pm
Subject: Re: Who would have thought?
Isn't it amazing what a Higher Power can do if we
just let Him?? I'm amazed at myself too. I had more
stupid excuses for taking pills. If I couldn't find one
I'd create one. I didn't realize at the time the
pills were causing the problems instead of fixing them.
I didn't think I'd ever stop because of course I
wasn't ADDICTED, I was just SICK! LOL Yeah, right!! And
I couldn't quit because I would literally DIE
without my pills. Now I know I will die if I continue to
use them. It's just great to be alive!!! Thanks for
letting me share :) Peace
------
Date: Fri Jan 26, 2001
Subject: Re: NEW MEMBER
Aren't the Promises wonderful??!! They are really
something I'm looking forward to. I have noticed they are
beginning. My constant craving for a buzz is gone!!! THAT IS
A MIRACLE!!!!!!! Peace
------
Date: Tue Jan 30, 2001 3:12 pm
Subject: Re: 90 DAY CHIP FOR 12 STEPPER!
Thank you, Denise!!! I picked up my first 90 day
f2f chip at a noon meeting and I felt like I was
picking up a 5 year medallion. haha I always told people
not to be proud of me when I quit using before
because I didn't have enough faith in my recovery. Now I
can FINALLY say "hey! I'm proud of me too!!" I am a
miracle!! Love ya
------
haha!?! well...i had the distinct pleasure to meet you f2f in january of 01 - my first online friend of many that i got to meet f2f. and look at you! it's time to pick up that 5 year medallion. i'm so gosh darn proud of you and will be forever grateful to you for suiting up and showing up in life to trudge with me.
i love you with all my essence, 12 stepper. congratulations on your 5 year!
Oh wow, Sammy. I'm sitting here at work with tears in my eyes. That all seems so long ago but yet it wasn't. If it wasn't for the support I got at PA online I sincerely wonder how long it would have taken before I took the plunge to get off pills. I remember being so scared to live without them and amazed at how it got easier as each day passed. Today I have such a fear of going back there, I don't know what I would do if I REALLY needed them. I know it would take a hell of a lot of pain for me to take another opiate and I can't imagine what would make me put a benzo in my system. A few months ago when I had an angioplasty I refused the benzo they offered and it turned out I didn't need it at all. That's where my addiction has taken me. I am afraid to get relief if I need it. But it's all good.
If it wasn't for people online like you, Sammy, I am afraid to even think of where I'd be today.
lovin ya
If it wasn't for people online like you, Sammy, I am afraid to even think of where I'd be today.
lovin ya
