I have just today accepted the fact i have problems with alcohol. I am losing friends and offending people because i dont know when to stop.
I drink about two bottles of wine twice a week and cant stop. I will not go for councelling but am going to try and stop altogether by myself. If anyone out there has managed to do this i would appreciate any helpful ideas they may have. Or if anyone would like to do this along with me perhaps we could support each other.
Why will you not go to counseling? Have you tried A.A. Meetings?
I do not know of a alcoholic that has ever been able to do this on thier own. I did for a year and wasted that year of my life as well as did a lot of other damage during that year
I have found now A.A. or church support groups to be very helpful. You can get the support and knowledge about your disease there.
Goodluck! Kay
I do not know of a alcoholic that has ever been able to do this on thier own. I did for a year and wasted that year of my life as well as did a lot of other damage during that year
I have found now A.A. or church support groups to be very helpful. You can get the support and knowledge about your disease there.
Goodluck! Kay
I know where you are at. The holidays are now over and, once again, alcohol was a problem for me. I'm not in denial and have known that I have a problem with control. I gave myself "another chance". Didn't work. I too have just accepted that I will never be able to control it. For me, it's not even a daily or weekly thing. There are times when I can go out socially and have only one or none, without a problem. But, then, there are times when all I want to do is drink. For me, the toughest times are holidays, vacations and Sundays (never understood this one but the desire to drink is always strong on this day). I, too, am going to try to do it on my own. I've had some success with it but have to not give into giving myself "another chance". I'm sure AA would be a tremendous help. But, I'm a social phobic and the social interaction with that support group scares me and prevents me from going down that path. I'm going to try this on my own. I know that, at times, it will be a real battle. But, I have to fight on. I'm just tired of being drunk, the hangovers, the sneaking, the hurt I know I'm causing my family, etc. I have this vision of me being a social drinker that is in control and that's why I keep giving myself "another chance". But, I've proven time and time again that this is only a vision and it's not my reality.
Good luck to you in your struggle for sobriety. I vowed to work on myself in 2004, to make some needed changes. This is one of the areas I'll be addressing. I feel good and positive about 2004, which wasn't how I felt going into 2003. So, I believe this will be the year I bring my problem under control. I'm going to give it my best shot. Good luck to you in your struggle.
Dennis
Good luck to you in your struggle for sobriety. I vowed to work on myself in 2004, to make some needed changes. This is one of the areas I'll be addressing. I feel good and positive about 2004, which wasn't how I felt going into 2003. So, I believe this will be the year I bring my problem under control. I'm going to give it my best shot. Good luck to you in your struggle.
Dennis
IF YOU ARE NOT WILLING TO GO TO COUNSELING, I'M NOT SURE YOU WILL BE ABLE TO LICK THE PROBLEM. WHAT IS YOUR REASON FOR NOT SEEKING PROFESSIONAL HELP? IF YOU ARE A TRUE ADDICT YOU WILL NEED AT LEAST A TWO WEEK STAY IN THE HOSPITAL AND THEN OUT PATIENT TREATMENT. I WISH YIOU WELL, BUT YOU MAY STILL BE IN DENIAL.
NURSE
NURSE
i'm here battling with multiple addictions. but maybe most prominent is alcohol, i resolved that 2004 would not go the same way as 2003, but i'm drinking my loneliness away and it's only 3rd day of the year, outwardly i am sociable, successful, popular, blah blah blah, inwardly feel so different, just want to find some peace somewhere, but only occasions i can cope with life is when i'm under influence of something or another
praying for a better day
praying for a better day
Thankyou for sharing your thoughts with me everyone. I have had no alcohol or cigarettes since Dec 26th. It is not easy but i am finding by avoiding all situations that put me with alcohol is the best option. I am drinking lots of tea, in fact i am drinking pots and pots of the stuff which helps me feel satisfied and the dog has never been walked as well before ha ha.
Dennis.... keep in touch and good luck to you. When you get the urge try thinking about how marvelous you will feel in the morning if you dont. Keep busy, brush your teeth a lot, go for short walks and give yourself a talking to, and ill bet, by the time you get home the notion will have left as quickly as it came.
Oh and drink lots of tea....
Dennis.... keep in touch and good luck to you. When you get the urge try thinking about how marvelous you will feel in the morning if you dont. Keep busy, brush your teeth a lot, go for short walks and give yourself a talking to, and ill bet, by the time you get home the notion will have left as quickly as it came.
Oh and drink lots of tea....
I'm glad to hear you are off of alcohol and walking your dog. Just don't forget that talk therapy is also a good way to stay off the booze. Don't be afraid or embarrased to ask for help. good luck to you and your dog.
nurse
nurse
Hi,
I'm glad that you've decided to focus on the positive things, your dog will be in olympic shape! If there's anything I can do contact me - Meze337@aol.com
I'm glad that you've decided to focus on the positive things, your dog will be in olympic shape! If there's anything I can do contact me - Meze337@aol.com
Just thought i would sign in and keep you all posted. Still going strong
but ive changed from tea to fizzy juice. The dogs doing okay, but im spending more time on the internet searching for antiques that i cant afford. Never mind its nice just to look.
Thankyou nurse for taking an interest. I am not sure how bad my addiction is or if it really is an addiction. So far i have found the lack of alchohol annoying rather than desperate, as i did not participate in any of the new year celebrations, and coming from scotland this is usually unheard of for me.
Anyway i feel a lot better and happier with myself in the short time i have done without so i will do my best to resist temptation.
Ps my dog is called bess and is a border collie.
but ive changed from tea to fizzy juice. The dogs doing okay, but im spending more time on the internet searching for antiques that i cant afford. Never mind its nice just to look.
Thankyou nurse for taking an interest. I am not sure how bad my addiction is or if it really is an addiction. So far i have found the lack of alchohol annoying rather than desperate, as i did not participate in any of the new year celebrations, and coming from scotland this is usually unheard of for me.
Anyway i feel a lot better and happier with myself in the short time i have done without so i will do my best to resist temptation.
Ps my dog is called bess and is a border collie.
Glad to hear your still well - In case you've had a change of heart {www.reformu.com} It is such a good program.
Say hello to Bess
Say hello to Bess
Hello
I used to drink to escape my emotions and feelings. I also use to isolate and tend to be a loner. The best way to help your self and this is only a suggetion is to go to AA. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to all you have to do is be honest with yourself, have an open mind, and be willing to change.
It is always nice to go and see some friendly smiles, a handshake and to know that you are not alone and they share the same problems that you do
I am a alcoholic and wouldn't have it any other way
In recovery for 4 years
Roy W
I used to drink to escape my emotions and feelings. I also use to isolate and tend to be a loner. The best way to help your self and this is only a suggetion is to go to AA. You don't have to say anything if you don't want to all you have to do is be honest with yourself, have an open mind, and be willing to change.
It is always nice to go and see some friendly smiles, a handshake and to know that you are not alone and they share the same problems that you do
I am a alcoholic and wouldn't have it any other way
In recovery for 4 years
Roy W
Hi corberry! I was just reading the last few posts and felt like I should write in and tell you a little bit of my story and hopefully it will be of some help to you....
I denied the fact that I was an alcoholic for several years-kept telling myself that I was okay b/c I did not drink everyday and could (occasionally) go out and have 1 or 2 drinks. I always seemed to selectively forget the times when I got out of control and acted crazy and made a complete fool out of myself. Swore up and down the next day that it would never happen again. But I was not ready to surrender yet. After all I wasn't even 21 and could not imagine living my life without alcohol b/c at that time I equated drinking with fun. I also chose to ignore how everytime I went back to the bottle the drunk would get worse each time. This disease always picks up where it left off and every relapse is worse than the one before it. I was in self pity for so long and actually convinced myself that I deserved to drink b/c I was depressed and should not have to go through my "sad" life without some kind of band-aid and for me that bandage was alcohol--wine. I also felt that I was entitled to drink b/c after all I had a job and got good grades in school, etc--These things were almost like a litmus test for me and b/c the rest of my life seemed to be in place it did not mean that I was not falling apart on the inside. I remember so many nights--it seems so pathetic to me now looking back--I would drink a bottle or two of wine, write sad poetry and listen to gloomy depressing music.
It took me nearly dying for me to want---to want more than anything in life---to be sober and free from the chains of addiction. And when I read the emergency room report when I sobered up from that last binge something inside me clicked. It was like a lightbulb went off inside my head and I finally realized that this was no longer a game and if I drank again I would probably not wake up. And I was not ready to die at 22. I decided to go away to intensive inpatient treatment (95 days) and then to a halfway house for another 4 or so months. And while I was in treatment I realized I didn't know who I was anymore. When I got to treatment I expected someone to give me the "magic solution" to not drink anymore but that is not the way this program works. There is no magic pill you can take to be "sober" and it is not possible to get on the road of recovery without absolute honesty and total surrendering. I realized that the reason we as addicts or alcoholics drink or use goes far, far beyond simply a physical craving. The reason we drink goes way deeper than that. In a story in the Big Book someone states," I was an alcoholic way before I took the first drink." How true that is!
I was one of the lucky ones. I had a spiritual experience while in treatment and from that point onward I surrendered. And it is the most uplifting feeling you can imagine! I felt like I had wings. For so long I was focused on the outside of myself and looking a certain way-I didn't understand that what really matters in this life is who you are inside and for me that was a lost and confused person. All the money in the world cannot buy the happiness you receive from sobriety. And sobriety goes so much deeper than just not drinking.
I have been sober now for 2 years and 8 months. My life still has its ups and downs but I don't fall apart anymore over it and nothing is worth drinking over. I have worked way too long for the sobriety I have to just throw it all away. And if I were to drink I would be throwing it all out the window. I can live with my past now and I am not ashamed to call myself an alcoholic at 25 years of age. I'm living in a new place now which can be a struggle b/c I don't have the support group I had back home but I do go to meetings. I don't have to go the rest of my life without drinking, I just have to get through today without picking up the bottle....
I denied the fact that I was an alcoholic for several years-kept telling myself that I was okay b/c I did not drink everyday and could (occasionally) go out and have 1 or 2 drinks. I always seemed to selectively forget the times when I got out of control and acted crazy and made a complete fool out of myself. Swore up and down the next day that it would never happen again. But I was not ready to surrender yet. After all I wasn't even 21 and could not imagine living my life without alcohol b/c at that time I equated drinking with fun. I also chose to ignore how everytime I went back to the bottle the drunk would get worse each time. This disease always picks up where it left off and every relapse is worse than the one before it. I was in self pity for so long and actually convinced myself that I deserved to drink b/c I was depressed and should not have to go through my "sad" life without some kind of band-aid and for me that bandage was alcohol--wine. I also felt that I was entitled to drink b/c after all I had a job and got good grades in school, etc--These things were almost like a litmus test for me and b/c the rest of my life seemed to be in place it did not mean that I was not falling apart on the inside. I remember so many nights--it seems so pathetic to me now looking back--I would drink a bottle or two of wine, write sad poetry and listen to gloomy depressing music.
It took me nearly dying for me to want---to want more than anything in life---to be sober and free from the chains of addiction. And when I read the emergency room report when I sobered up from that last binge something inside me clicked. It was like a lightbulb went off inside my head and I finally realized that this was no longer a game and if I drank again I would probably not wake up. And I was not ready to die at 22. I decided to go away to intensive inpatient treatment (95 days) and then to a halfway house for another 4 or so months. And while I was in treatment I realized I didn't know who I was anymore. When I got to treatment I expected someone to give me the "magic solution" to not drink anymore but that is not the way this program works. There is no magic pill you can take to be "sober" and it is not possible to get on the road of recovery without absolute honesty and total surrendering. I realized that the reason we as addicts or alcoholics drink or use goes far, far beyond simply a physical craving. The reason we drink goes way deeper than that. In a story in the Big Book someone states," I was an alcoholic way before I took the first drink." How true that is!
I was one of the lucky ones. I had a spiritual experience while in treatment and from that point onward I surrendered. And it is the most uplifting feeling you can imagine! I felt like I had wings. For so long I was focused on the outside of myself and looking a certain way-I didn't understand that what really matters in this life is who you are inside and for me that was a lost and confused person. All the money in the world cannot buy the happiness you receive from sobriety. And sobriety goes so much deeper than just not drinking.
I have been sober now for 2 years and 8 months. My life still has its ups and downs but I don't fall apart anymore over it and nothing is worth drinking over. I have worked way too long for the sobriety I have to just throw it all away. And if I were to drink I would be throwing it all out the window. I can live with my past now and I am not ashamed to call myself an alcoholic at 25 years of age. I'm living in a new place now which can be a struggle b/c I don't have the support group I had back home but I do go to meetings. I don't have to go the rest of my life without drinking, I just have to get through today without picking up the bottle....
Hello again
I was tempted to tell a fib and say i still have not had any alcohol, but i have had a couple bottles of wine since last visiting the site. Although i was determined not to, I do not feel bad about it as i had a lovely time and was careful not to over indulge and cause myself any grief the next day.
I no longer drink as often as i did and make a concious effort to leave almost a week inbetween. This is not the perfect solution but at this moment in time its what i am doing.
I did not think there was any point in writing down lies, and although many people will see it as failure i actually feel quite happy about the fact i feel more in control and focused on the amount i am taking.
I still walk the dog and keep myself busy around the home. I feel more happier generally within myself and hope i continue to feel this way.
Once again, I feel honesty is the best policy for a board like this, as im sure there will be lots of people who just dont sign in again because they think they have failed. Well im a realist and know what could happen again, but whatever happens i will keep you all informed.
Ps. My friend is coming around tonight and i will be making supper and having a bottle or two of wine. Before i signed in here i would probably not have bothered with the supper, but it certainly does make a difference to the way i act if i dont eat first.
Good luck to everyone and dont be afraid to tell us all about the downs as well as the ups as that is when you need the supprt of others most.
I was tempted to tell a fib and say i still have not had any alcohol, but i have had a couple bottles of wine since last visiting the site. Although i was determined not to, I do not feel bad about it as i had a lovely time and was careful not to over indulge and cause myself any grief the next day.
I no longer drink as often as i did and make a concious effort to leave almost a week inbetween. This is not the perfect solution but at this moment in time its what i am doing.
I did not think there was any point in writing down lies, and although many people will see it as failure i actually feel quite happy about the fact i feel more in control and focused on the amount i am taking.
I still walk the dog and keep myself busy around the home. I feel more happier generally within myself and hope i continue to feel this way.
Once again, I feel honesty is the best policy for a board like this, as im sure there will be lots of people who just dont sign in again because they think they have failed. Well im a realist and know what could happen again, but whatever happens i will keep you all informed.
Ps. My friend is coming around tonight and i will be making supper and having a bottle or two of wine. Before i signed in here i would probably not have bothered with the supper, but it certainly does make a difference to the way i act if i dont eat first.
Good luck to everyone and dont be afraid to tell us all about the downs as well as the ups as that is when you need the supprt of others most.
I am gld to find a place to air my feelings.I have been to AA for 6 monyhs but it is not for me.I am too private to tell a room of people what my life is about.Does anyone feel the same way?I don't want to drink but I don't want to go on a speaking tour.Can some one relate to me.Please do.
hello, first of all i would suggest that you keep on just the 4 bottles a week, and gradually cut back! Instead of drinking a bottle of wine to yourself everynow and then go out with friends and insist on sharing the wine. Know when you have had enough to drink. in most bottles of wine there is about 7.5% per glass, and there is about 7 glasses to a bottle, one glass of wine is already 1 unit, and doctors say its ok to drink 2units a day, so if possible cut down to just 2 glasses a day, but its not easy just cutting back from the amount you drink to 2 units a day! So try cutting back by a glass of wine a day! plan how you are going to do this and promise your family that you will try to stick to it, and take all the support offered to you! Counselling isnt always the best option, because some times you feel they are talking to you as if you are a professional so if you do take up counselling then take a close friend of family with you and let the the person know that you are seeking help and not trying to understand why you are doing it and then they will get to the point!
If you are afraid of going to a treatment center, psychiatrist, meetings etc......... or losing your anonymity you might want to take a look at this new "Tony Robbins" Style Self Help, Home Patient 30 Day Video Treatment Program.
http://www.freshstartsystems.com
http://www.freshstartsystems.com
if you will not go to concaling i have no suport
Books and Tapes are a good supplement to any program that you may be woking bu t I found and this only my poion. The easiest way I understood what I was going through wa to talk with another alcoholic.It doesn't matter if the person is isn the program. The easiest way I understood on how to understand on how to deal with life on life's terms was to listen to how others id it. People have described to me how they dealt with life, how they dealt with their feeling etc. They didn't have to be a professional, but they did care and became friends. For me who knew better, than the person that has been there.
I choose to go to other programs and I know others that don't and that's what they need. But there is nothing than sitting down with another person and seeing their RAW EMOITIONS, their smiles, their frustration , their tears, The same feeling that I was sharing.
Talk is theraputic: don't talk only about the bad things in your life, there is always some good. Even if ythe only thig is that you haven't had a drink that day.That is a great moment
Wishing everyone another great day tomorrow.
I choose to go to other programs and I know others that don't and that's what they need. But there is nothing than sitting down with another person and seeing their RAW EMOITIONS, their smiles, their frustration , their tears, The same feeling that I was sharing.
Talk is theraputic: don't talk only about the bad things in your life, there is always some good. Even if ythe only thig is that you haven't had a drink that day.That is a great moment
Wishing everyone another great day tomorrow.
Kinda funny really.
You're chooseing to go through all the pain and losses the pioneers of AA experienced before writeing down what did and didn't work for them, and with no thought to at least read their findings in the book Alcoholics Anonimus.
It even says in there that if you don't know you're an alcoholic (or addict, no difference) to try some controlled drinking.
I think all of us try to control our drinking before we are really ready to get the help we need. Just be honest when experimenting and also realize that you could have spared yourself alot of misery and wasted time - if still alive, not institutionalized, or dead first.
I'm not trying to recuit members for AA. There are plenty of us already.
I just feel a responsability to say something when I see someone ready to fall off a cliff and they don't know it.
I had to fall off, suffer losses, pain, torment, etc too though. Just remember you were forewarned ok?
A good treatment center, councelor, shrink, or whoever will point you to AA for recovery after they get your $. That's ok I quess.
If you come accross one that doesn't let you know that true recovery is in AA, you've spent $ for nothing.
Good luck in any case. It's your life and everything in it that's at stake here.
You're chooseing to go through all the pain and losses the pioneers of AA experienced before writeing down what did and didn't work for them, and with no thought to at least read their findings in the book Alcoholics Anonimus.
It even says in there that if you don't know you're an alcoholic (or addict, no difference) to try some controlled drinking.
I think all of us try to control our drinking before we are really ready to get the help we need. Just be honest when experimenting and also realize that you could have spared yourself alot of misery and wasted time - if still alive, not institutionalized, or dead first.
I'm not trying to recuit members for AA. There are plenty of us already.
I just feel a responsability to say something when I see someone ready to fall off a cliff and they don't know it.
I had to fall off, suffer losses, pain, torment, etc too though. Just remember you were forewarned ok?
A good treatment center, councelor, shrink, or whoever will point you to AA for recovery after they get your $. That's ok I quess.
If you come accross one that doesn't let you know that true recovery is in AA, you've spent $ for nothing.
Good luck in any case. It's your life and everything in it that's at stake here.
I just want to add - "Good info in Kay and Roy's posts."
