Hi.
I think that my husband is using again, or should I say I really do not think that he ever stopped. Some background... About 2 years ago he was into meth pretty bad, he became a very evil person to me and our children. When he would get on the phone with his "friends" he was a totally "happy" different person. We ended up getting in a big fight and the cops were called. He was taken to jail (with a hit of pot in his pocket, they did not notice, and they gave it back to him)That was on my birthday. I had already been to a lawyer to get a divorce (which I am still paying for) He was sent to counseling and did eventually get visitation rights to two of the children, (the other one is not legally his) to make a long story short.... he got hurt very badly at work just before the 6th aniversary of our son's death, and we got back together just before the divorce would have been final. His family was not too happy that we got back together but he swore that he quit everything (pot and meth) except ephadrine(sp) and cigarettes.
Things have been great until recently, We went home for X-mas ( we have moved 200 miles away from any family) and he went on a week long fishing trip. Since then he has been sleeping again whenever he is home and working 12 to 15 hours a day. I have also found some more of his aluminun foil balls. I think that he uses them to burn the meth before smoking it? I did say something to him on Monday when I found one in the dryer and told him that he should really clean out his pockets before I do his laundry. He tried to say " well maybe did you ever think it was for..." I cut him off and said "there is always going to be some kind of excuse!" I left it at that. I know that if I continue to ask or accuse him he will become that evil person that nobody likes. He has started to be more civil to me since I think he thinks that maybe I will just forget about it. He is out of town now until Friday and I found another ball outside.
At this point I do not know what to do. NOBODY knows except you. If I tell my family I will get the I told you so and I can't go to his workplace because he is the sole supporter of our family. I can't leave, I only know two people in this town and do not have the money to go back home anyway, He controls the checkbook. What should I do? Do I try to get him tested to be sure or just wait until the **** hits the fan? I have three kids here and I do not want to see them go through this again. Is there anyway of getting help for me and them? I need to know what to do next. I do not want to leave him, (12 years is a long time) but I do not even know who he really is anymore. I do not work because I do not have daycare, so I do not have any of my own money to work with. I am rambling, I am sorry, but I am scared , hurt, tired, depressed, and angry all at the same time. I guess that I know in the way back of my mind that I have to leave, but .... how?
JoAnne
trying going to alnon meetings and get yourself into some good counseling..i feel so bad for u girl....i think u will make the right choice for u and your kids....i think you will be a better person if u left but that is your descion..when time like this occur turn to GOD he is the only one that will look out for your best interest.....good luck and hey join the forum room on families and partners of addicts i'm in there..ps i have been where you at!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! god bless TORI
