Can You Judge If You Have Never Walked In My Shoes

Hey, I have never talked in one of these before but I have been reading some of the comments. I do not know how you can put judgdement on people for decisions that they make in there life if you have never been in that situation. I am a RX narcotict addict and I feel that recovery comes from shared experience, compassion and understanding not from judgement and condemnation. The higher power that I believe in is about UNCONDITIONAL LOVE and FORGIVNESS. I hate to sound like the song but "Where is the love?". Are we not all addicts here and dealing/feeling with similar f***ed up situations and emotions that keep us in our addiction? I feel that to help one another takes more courage than to tear someone down. I am definatley a flawed person and make many mistakes every day, but I would hope that my fellow addicts would be there to listen and not to judge me.
Another- I agree with you 100%. Since this is your first post, let me tell you a majority of the people here will not judge you, and simply help you. I myself only judge people when they are "judging" someone else. It does take love, compassion and understanding. And welcome to the board. Most people here will help you. The self serving "I'm really proud of myself" crowd....well forget them...Sammy might give you some insipration..I read her post all the time and they are really moving. Me? I'm kinda like the class clown..but almost EVERYONE here can help you..
So what's with all the drama?! I know everyone has hella drama, including me but some of the comments that I read were so mean and hurtful. I respect the honesty of everyone's postings but Why hurt and/or tear someone down? My situation is that I abuse my meds when my emotions are out of control. I have a severe back injury and chronic pain and there is a difference when I take meds as perscribed or use/abuse because of the drama in my life. I use because someting is missing in me. Nothing can fill it, not my husband, friends, money, cars, houses, family, that emptyness has always been ther ever since I can remember. I would hope that this board would be a place that would withhold judgement of my life but have honest suggestions that would be of help. No one likes to be told what to do, I know with me I always do the oppisite. It's just my opion but maybe comments that everyone makes could be more positive, I know I would take them to heart more.
Wow, heres a smart person who tells it like it is and understands the true meaning of recovery!

wow, noone can say anything, funny.....
I for one, trust everyone until they give me a reason not to. Alot of people trust no one until they give them a reason to. Which do you guys think is the better of the two? Or is it just the individual makeup of a person? I don't make fun of people, I don't judge people, I have been taken advantage of and my husband says I'm naive as hell. I just don't like to see anyone hurt.
Roe
Amen. I think what you find here is that there are alot of different styles and personalites mixing it up. There is always going to be friction in this case.

I know my own style may seem too nice to some. However, I speak from the heart and say what I need to say. I'm not interested in the drama or ripping people to shreads if there is another way I can present something to help. In my walk that's called loving kindness.

As far as trust .... that is an entirely different story. I figure I don't need to prove another is not telling the truth. That person knows the truth and they will have to deal with it in their own growth. It's not for me to judge and what if I made an accusation and was wrong. I don't want that on my karma sheet. I'd rather try to support another wherever they say they are. If I can share something that helps them grow or open or help them in anyway out of their situation, I've done my part. If I can do this without insult all the better. It's my experience most people do better when you slip in the back door and hold the mirror up for them to see when they don't recognize it. But that's just my opinion with my color of tinted sunglasses.

I really don't care about the stories, the drama. I care about where they are in the present moment and where they are headed and if they want to grow or remain stagnant. The rest they have to follow through on their own path. I find most things in my life directly relate to my spiritual process. It's where I turn for my strength. Without it I would probably be awful. I don't need to be right or wrong, just speak from my truth and if it helps great and if not chuck it. I don't care if it's attacked. Maybe there is something I need to hear. As the 4 agreemets says I "don't take it personal".

When you are sufing around here for advice and support you will find some seashells in the vastness of all the sand. Pick it up and hold it close to you and allow it to unfold you. Let the rest go and be washed out to sea. Even when you walk the beach you find fewer shells than grains of sand.

So peace to all,
PM
Another Addict,
I just read both your posts here. I think you abuse your meds cause your an addict period. I am too. From what I get outta your post is you'd take sugestions to heart if it's what you want to hear. If I was only told what I wanted to hear I wouldn't be clean and sober today. The people that have told me what I need to hear are the ones that care about and love me. If you have pain issues and are in need of narcotics, like I'm sure some people are, than you can't be in controll of them. If you wanna really live a life of recovery and not abuse, you need to first give someone else controll of your dose. No if, ands, or buts about it. As soon as you say I can handle it,
you lost the battle. And if your not interested in any drama, then why ask, "Whats all the drama about"?
Saying being judgemental is wrong, then telling everyone there too judgemental
is forming judgment and being judgemental yourself.
In your first line saying you never posted here before leads me to believe you have in another name but are trying to hard to make it look like you haven't.
My dad always said, "you can't con a con".
Do yourself a favor if you really want to get into recovery. First, if a narcotic is the only way to manage your pain, ( for some it is I believe ) then find out the dose that'll make the pain tolarable, not take the pain completly away. Then, let someone else take charge of giving it to you and let your doctor meet that person so everyone is on the same page. Then start making meetings, A.A., N.A. etc.. what ever works for you, and get a sponsor that will tell you what you need to hear, not what you want to hear, and guide you through recovery. There is no elevator in the program you gotta take the steps! Learn to take suggestions one day at a time. forget about yesterday and don't worry about tomorrow or next year, do whats suggested just for today. Anyway, thats my view, good luck.
Take care........................................God bless.......................................Bob
"Mitzy" and "another addict" are one and the same. Under the circumstances, we feel others have a right to know.

Thanks Moderator for sharing that info with us. But who spelled the words for her in those 2 posts?
Moderator can i applaud your approach at least it gives individuals a chance not be sucked into dis-honesty i for one appreciate all the work you do. seasons greetings to you jackie xxx
Sharron, Bob wishing you both well on this cold frosty saterday morning im waiting for mike to get up from zzzzzzzzzzz so he can take me shopping for more prezzys lol no wonder he dont want to get up eh lol jackie xxxx
LMAO Sharon!,
I swear to God I thought the same thing, even was gonna post it! lmao
love ya'.......Good night.............Take care.......................God bless........Bob
Hi Jackie,

Hope you have a good day hunting for those presents. Wrap up warmly and stay safe. Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Love,
Hi Bob,,,,great minds think alike...wink.

Love ya,
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH YOUR SON THAT IS A SERIOUS ADDICT TO O.C. BY NEEDLE..I PAY BY FEAR. HE IS ONLY 17..NO ONE WILL HELP..TRIED TO PUT HIM OUT..HE WONT LEAVE ME ALONE..HELP!!!!!!!!ANYONE...I AM GOING NUTS
Lala2U -- can you tell us a bit more? When you say you "pay by fear," are you being threatened? Also, if you haven't done so already, you may want to post in another of these forums titled "Families / Partners of Addicts." But we'll also help if we can.
Moderator- Now I feel totally "conned" I guess...

BTW Bob, great post as usual....
Danny never feel bad about trying to be good and careing and dont let this affect the way in which you approach people your heart is in the right place hun dont let one incident let it slip ((((((((((hugs)))))))))) jackie xxx
I don't understand why Jasmine, Mitzy, fellow addict, another addict....whatever, keeps doing this! It's really unbelievable! I usually stay out of these things, but I am truely blown away! I have read these posts by all of these people and really felt something and then a few posts down find out it is Jasmine! What's going on? If you need help with something, just ask, don't pretend to be someone you're not. If none of this is true, then I am sorry. I've just seen it so much lately that I have to wonder.
Jackie- I won't. I just feel bad about it..