I know I have to stop drinking. I can feel myself slipping. I know the signs. I am in the early stages of alcoholism. A+ for identification but because I am in the early stages, alcohol has not had a major adverse reaction on my life yet. I haven't OD'ed or even blacked out....I don't drink copious amounts, I just can't go without. I haven't lost my job , driven drunk or hurt anyone I care about. I know I am hurting myself but there are no flashing lights or warning sirens going off in my head. There should be!
I feel ashamed of myself and I can't even begin to delve into my emotional baggage. The world thinks I'm okay but I'm not. I'm not okay at all. Being young, drinking is such a huge part of socialising that it's hard to explain to my friends why I'm not drinking. To be brutally honest, it's hard for me to socialise without a drink in my hand but it quickly gets out of hand. I should be able to have a couple of drinks after work and go home but I can't.
I need to know how to knock myself around the head and get to AA before I'm in too deep and bad things start happening. What is it going to take?!
Hey there Lush, good on ya for recongizing the problem before it gets too much. Alcoholism is a progressive disease, it will only get worse, and you will find you'll be drinking more and more just to get the same buzz. I know how you feel about the socializing thing, especially when you are younger, everyone else is drinking, so what the h*ll, but trust me I am 33 years old now and wish I had of seen the effects that booze would have had on my life and I probably never would have started. The blackouts, the behaviour problems, money issues, alienation, you name it, pretty terrible stuff, but today I am sober and so thankful for that, it so great waking up and welcoming the day! Go to the meeting, it's never to early or too late, trust me you won't regret it!
all the best
lovedove
all the best
lovedove
Hi there, Most likely, if you are an alcoholic, you will develop a tolerance and like Love Dove stated you will need more to get the same effect. You don't have to go down to the very bottom to seek recovery. I, too, have never been arrested, been to jail or lost my job. What happened to me was I finally hit my bottom at 44 years old, drinking and using for 28 years (my bottom was more of the emotional and spiritual variety...I was just like you when I young...however the disease of alcoholism progresses even if one continues to drink or not. Alcoholism can be put in remission though, just don't drink, take it one day at time. For me, one was never enough...perhaps you could sit in at a Young People's AA meeting. The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking.
HIYA HUN..
I have been to one AA meeting along time ago. I didnt go again because I couldnt relate to people who drink morning/night day in day out.(no offence)..My problem is physioligical rather than physical. Not saying it couldnt ever reach that point thats why after 10 years of thinking I can drink and then reaching a point of not being able to handle it and becoming what my family call "the exosist" i have been pointed in the right direction. Beginning councelling and taking tablets that will make me feel sick if i was to drink. My last episode of beeing the exosist was on the Sunday just gone. Being nagged by boyfriend to only have the 2 drinks but then the two turned to 3 and then he left and i found myself getting drinks on tab...I realise now that its the alcohol controlling me more than me controlling the alcohol. It has only been a few days but im thinking its Friday night i want to be in a pub or sitting with a nice bottle of wine.My boyfriend often reminds me of how i always call it a NICE bottle or a Nice glass. But those nice things always turn to 2/3/4...and then me taking on the world or being self distructive. the last couple of days I have only thought about not drinking on holidays, birthdays, weddings, bank holidays etc and it hurts big time.I associate alcohol with most social outgoings but I know the only way to stop me falling into the trap is to avoid places that sell alcohol or where alcohol is widely available until im able to deal with it...I dont know if that means ill never drink or if that means to be able to have 1 and stop but at the moment i except thats not possible...Im on the verge of loosing so much if i continue...I think sites like this are a big help too. Im dealing with being told i cant drink at the moment and in the past thats the one thing that made me want to even more. I use to be cabin crew and loved being able to go to my room with a drink and to the bar without being nagged but i quit because alcohol was a way of life. I guess all I have to think about is today! but id love to be able to watch telly without seeing alcohol on the screen first or go for a meal with my boyfriend not thinking how much wine can i get down my throat in 2 hours, or before he says no more and seeing a glorious day out and thinking god i want to be a beer garden....So im going to find myself some hobbies, concentrate on getting the councelling and enjoying a not so hectic lifestyle.
I have been to one AA meeting along time ago. I didnt go again because I couldnt relate to people who drink morning/night day in day out.(no offence)..My problem is physioligical rather than physical. Not saying it couldnt ever reach that point thats why after 10 years of thinking I can drink and then reaching a point of not being able to handle it and becoming what my family call "the exosist" i have been pointed in the right direction. Beginning councelling and taking tablets that will make me feel sick if i was to drink. My last episode of beeing the exosist was on the Sunday just gone. Being nagged by boyfriend to only have the 2 drinks but then the two turned to 3 and then he left and i found myself getting drinks on tab...I realise now that its the alcohol controlling me more than me controlling the alcohol. It has only been a few days but im thinking its Friday night i want to be in a pub or sitting with a nice bottle of wine.My boyfriend often reminds me of how i always call it a NICE bottle or a Nice glass. But those nice things always turn to 2/3/4...and then me taking on the world or being self distructive. the last couple of days I have only thought about not drinking on holidays, birthdays, weddings, bank holidays etc and it hurts big time.I associate alcohol with most social outgoings but I know the only way to stop me falling into the trap is to avoid places that sell alcohol or where alcohol is widely available until im able to deal with it...I dont know if that means ill never drink or if that means to be able to have 1 and stop but at the moment i except thats not possible...Im on the verge of loosing so much if i continue...I think sites like this are a big help too. Im dealing with being told i cant drink at the moment and in the past thats the one thing that made me want to even more. I use to be cabin crew and loved being able to go to my room with a drink and to the bar without being nagged but i quit because alcohol was a way of life. I guess all I have to think about is today! but id love to be able to watch telly without seeing alcohol on the screen first or go for a meal with my boyfriend not thinking how much wine can i get down my throat in 2 hours, or before he says no more and seeing a glorious day out and thinking god i want to be a beer garden....So im going to find myself some hobbies, concentrate on getting the councelling and enjoying a not so hectic lifestyle.
I believe drinking is but a symptom of what is really is going on with us...most of us have living problems of the emotional & spiritual variety, that we we drink over to hide the pain.
Lush,
All it takes is walking through the door and sitting down and not getting up before the meeting starts! (smile) If you go to the AA website you can find all the meetings in your area. Pick one and go. They even have them for young people. I have not lost it all either. Just my ability to put down the drink when I start. On the 17th I'll have 30 days. It feels good to go and know you are now choosing yourself. I hope you make it to a meeting.
pm
All it takes is walking through the door and sitting down and not getting up before the meeting starts! (smile) If you go to the AA website you can find all the meetings in your area. Pick one and go. They even have them for young people. I have not lost it all either. Just my ability to put down the drink when I start. On the 17th I'll have 30 days. It feels good to go and know you are now choosing yourself. I hope you make it to a meeting.
pm
I totally agree with you about drinking to hide the pain.
But it only seems to hide it for initially the first couple of hours when im laughing and drinking. But then something in my brain spirals out of controll. It really depends on how I felt that particular day, if i was menstral or maybe someone said something to me in the past that ive dwelled on, it just all comes out in one hit....10 years of issues and then I upset people and the next day I feel really sh** by what has happened therefore adding to my problems and then really depressed from being depressed anyway and then adding to it with the alcohol....Its a circle I kept going round and round in.
So I guess I wanted to forget everything but alcohol just made it so much worse.
But it only seems to hide it for initially the first couple of hours when im laughing and drinking. But then something in my brain spirals out of controll. It really depends on how I felt that particular day, if i was menstral or maybe someone said something to me in the past that ive dwelled on, it just all comes out in one hit....10 years of issues and then I upset people and the next day I feel really sh** by what has happened therefore adding to my problems and then really depressed from being depressed anyway and then adding to it with the alcohol....Its a circle I kept going round and round in.
So I guess I wanted to forget everything but alcohol just made it so much worse.
