I am married to an alcoholic who refuses to accept he has a problem.He believes that because he can hold down a job he is "fine". He drinks between 5 and 20 pints a day. I have tried asking,begging,pleading,screaming,shouting...you name it but still he carries on. He has no time for me or the children and the drink always comes first in everything. He has lied to me on many occasions and has been very violent when drunk. He wets the bed and suffers terrible night sweats. What do I do?? I have supported him for so long but when do i call it a day and give up ???
Hi Sallyanne I am sorry to hear of your situation. As you have realised by now you cant make an alcoholic/addict get help, they have to do it when they are ready. If they do get help it is your choice as to whether or not you support them.
What can you do? You can take care of yourself and your children and make a decision as to what is best for them. There is always a limit to what you should endure and you need to draw that line at some point. If you have had enough you can tell him it is either the alcohol or his family but if he continues to deny his problem then you need to follow-through and leave.
There is a support organisation for people such as you (and me) who are affected by the addiction of another. Al Anon meetings are held all over and you will get much support and guidance from them. Teeange children can also attend special meetings (known as Alateen). I am a member of the Al Anon fellowship and it has saved my sanity.
I hope things imprve for you soon, you have my best wishes.
What can you do? You can take care of yourself and your children and make a decision as to what is best for them. There is always a limit to what you should endure and you need to draw that line at some point. If you have had enough you can tell him it is either the alcohol or his family but if he continues to deny his problem then you need to follow-through and leave.
There is a support organisation for people such as you (and me) who are affected by the addiction of another. Al Anon meetings are held all over and you will get much support and guidance from them. Teeange children can also attend special meetings (known as Alateen). I am a member of the Al Anon fellowship and it has saved my sanity.
I hope things imprve for you soon, you have my best wishes.
hi sallyanne ,
i know how you feel , every night i lay in bed thinking tomorrow i'll tell him to leave , but in the morning he's sober and" normal" so i leave it a bit longer and it goes on and on like that untill before you know it another years past and things are still the same or maybe worse .
i have been lucky in a sense as my parter has sufferd a break down and needed medical treatment for depression , i saw my chance and told them about his drinking problem , although they can not help him directly they can give him encouragement to get help.
there is never a right time to call it a day you have to think about what is right for you and your children ,if he is violent towards you with or without drink my advise would be to get out !!
you cant make him get help he has to want help, but if he wont except thats what he needs then it will never happen.
i know how you feel , every night i lay in bed thinking tomorrow i'll tell him to leave , but in the morning he's sober and" normal" so i leave it a bit longer and it goes on and on like that untill before you know it another years past and things are still the same or maybe worse .
i have been lucky in a sense as my parter has sufferd a break down and needed medical treatment for depression , i saw my chance and told them about his drinking problem , although they can not help him directly they can give him encouragement to get help.
there is never a right time to call it a day you have to think about what is right for you and your children ,if he is violent towards you with or without drink my advise would be to get out !!
you cant make him get help he has to want help, but if he wont except thats what he needs then it will never happen.