Hi,
I just saw your post from yesturday asking me why I regretted going on methadone. Let me just tell you quickly how I got started on m-done. I was battling a 3 year addiction to lortabs. I had a doctor who was giving me 120 7.5mg pills a month. That was the only place I was getting the pills. But many times I would run out early. By the end I was taking about 10 pills a day and had been in rehab twice. During my second stint in rehab my psychiatrist said that I needed to go on methadone. I really trusted him and he made it sound like no big deal. He said I would probably be on it 6 months to a year. My husband was very much against it but agreed to pay for it as long as I did everything I was supposed to and didn't mess up. I should have done much more research on methadone before starting it. For the first 9 months or so I thought it was great. Anytime I mentioned to my counselor that I wasn't feeling well he raised my dose 10mg. My highest dose was 90mg. By this time I was putting on so much weight but I didn't really notice it. I didn't notice a lot of things because I was pretty numb while on methadone. I would fall asleep nearly everyday in the late afternoon. Anyway the time came when I wanted off it. It was costing us $400.00 a month plus all the gas money and I wasn't really making any progress in terms of recovery. In fact what I began to realize was that I traded an addiction to lortabs to a much more powerful drug, methadone. When I told my counselor I was ready to get off it he told me that the clinic only allows you to go down 2 or 3mg a week. I don't remember them telling me that during in-take. So I was looking at at least another year or more. Finally I weaned down to 10mg and jumped off from there. The w/d from coming off just 10mg was pure hell. My body shook constantly, I was so depressed, I couldn't eat, I couldn't do much of anything for about a month. I have 17 months clean now and am pretty much back to normal. I'm not telling you this to try to scare you. I am just warning you, I felt the same way you did during my first 9 months on it. I thought it was great and a good decision. But when I decided to get off it is when I realized it was the biggest mistake of my life. My advise to you is don't go any higher then whatever your dose is right now. Try to find a good couselor to help you when you are ready to start weaning. And don't listen to any of the other patients at the clinic. In my experience most of them are negative and will tell you it's impossible to come off it. It's not, remember that. Just be extra prepared when you do decide to begin weaning. Good luck and I'm here if you need to talk.
Shelly
I am so glad that youposted that, hopefully it will save someone from starting MD, I have never heard a good hing about the methadone plan,its going from one addiction to another. I will be praying for you and if you need me i am here.
felicia
93 days
one days at a time
felicia
93 days
one days at a time
Hey, thanks for the post and for taking the time to give me the background on your experiences. I honestly don't know how I will feel about methadone next year or even next week, and I know that.
I did know going in how hard detoxing from methadone would be, I have heard all about it, so it is no surprise to me. To me, I think there are ways to deal with that eventuality, and it is worth it to me to try it anyway just because of the shape I was in at the end. I would never suggest to anyone who is taking, say, 100 mg/day lortab to try methadone until all other options had been exhausted.
What bothers me is really just the feeling that methadone is viewed as the same as active addiction in recovery circles, because my experience just isn't that at all. And for me, wanting so badly to share recovery with other people who get it, it is very frustrating. I know that I am physically dependent on methadone, but I just don't believe that I am addicted to it in the same way I was addicted to oxy.
I am at 80 mg now, pretty well stable and I probably won't go up, in the near future anyway. My counselor is not free with increases at all; she discourages them. I do have mixed feelings, and definitely do wonder sometimes about how methadone is affecting me...the scatter-braininess sometimes bothers me, and the wanting to nap more often than I would have in the past. There are definitely side effects. Funnily enough, the detox doesn't really scare me. The part that scares me is the part that always scared me, and that is the staying off of pills permanently. I guess I just don't believe I will ever be able to do that without taking methadone, or sub, or whatever they come up with as a replacement. I felt that way before the methadone though; that is why I am on it in the first place.
It's awesome what you have accomplished. If you don't mind, what do you mean by "pretty much" back to normal? I am curious as to lingering physical problems that occur as a result of opiate addiction. I guess part of me does not believe I will ever go back to "normal." And I felt that way before methadone...Anyway, thanks again for sharing with me, take care.
I did know going in how hard detoxing from methadone would be, I have heard all about it, so it is no surprise to me. To me, I think there are ways to deal with that eventuality, and it is worth it to me to try it anyway just because of the shape I was in at the end. I would never suggest to anyone who is taking, say, 100 mg/day lortab to try methadone until all other options had been exhausted.
What bothers me is really just the feeling that methadone is viewed as the same as active addiction in recovery circles, because my experience just isn't that at all. And for me, wanting so badly to share recovery with other people who get it, it is very frustrating. I know that I am physically dependent on methadone, but I just don't believe that I am addicted to it in the same way I was addicted to oxy.
I am at 80 mg now, pretty well stable and I probably won't go up, in the near future anyway. My counselor is not free with increases at all; she discourages them. I do have mixed feelings, and definitely do wonder sometimes about how methadone is affecting me...the scatter-braininess sometimes bothers me, and the wanting to nap more often than I would have in the past. There are definitely side effects. Funnily enough, the detox doesn't really scare me. The part that scares me is the part that always scared me, and that is the staying off of pills permanently. I guess I just don't believe I will ever be able to do that without taking methadone, or sub, or whatever they come up with as a replacement. I felt that way before the methadone though; that is why I am on it in the first place.
It's awesome what you have accomplished. If you don't mind, what do you mean by "pretty much" back to normal? I am curious as to lingering physical problems that occur as a result of opiate addiction. I guess part of me does not believe I will ever go back to "normal." And I felt that way before methadone...Anyway, thanks again for sharing with me, take care.
