When will we treat those who suffer?
We are a barbaric people, some of us, full of impressive words and passionate concern about mental health and addiction recovery while doing very little about it.
Being the mother of a drug addict is like having my heart ripped out, one inch at a time. Its a raw and seeping wound that never stops bleeding, awake or asleep, when I see him and when I dont. Not just because Im forced to watch him die a slow and painful death in front of my eyes, but because I can do absolutely nothing about it.
I cannot gather my son in my arms and transport him to safe harbor. I cannot scoop him from the tortured hell he lives in and plunk him down somewhere opposite. Hes an adult. He has rights. This haunted, emaciated skeleton this ghost of what he once was and still could be has rights.
Experts tell us that addiction is a brain disorder. That repeated drug use leads to changes in the brain that undermine voluntary control. And yet we demand choices from people who are no longer capable of them.
Workers in the field know that drug addiction is a mental health issue and still our Mental Health Act does not include it. I cannot force my son into treatment. He has to make the call. He has to hit bottom. The problem is, by the time he does, hell be dead.
If a drowning man was too beaten, too exhausted, and too befuddled to lift his hand to yours, would you stand on the river bank and watch him drown? ADHD, severe depression and years of drug abuse cause impaired judgment and incapacity. My son suffers it all in a recovery house that isnt one, at the mercy of a landlord who exploits our most vulnerable. No food, no heat, no oven, no telephone. Alerting the authorities is pointless; the guy always wiggles out. Besides, its better than living under a tree. Theyre addicts. Where can they go? No one else will take them.
If I played the mom card I might get him into treatment. Keeping him there is more difficult. Hes been clean before, nine months once, but didnt find the magic bullet and no longer believes in the 12-step program.
And getting to the top of a waiting list takes courage, faith, persistence and a telephone, when the only push left in him is to search for drugs to stop the pain. Mostly he doesnt. Mostly hes dope sick, without drugs and without hope. He doesnt eat, doesnt talk, and hasnt slept since 2012 when the mother of his child committed manslaughter under the influence of drugs and alcohol and we lost my only grandson in the aftermath. I couldnt help her, either. Same old story: You cant force an adult into treatment, blah, blah, blah. A young girl dead, the other locked up, and a small boy loses his entire birth family. Will it ever stop?
When are we going to fix this? Policy doesnt change until large numbers demand it. Why arent we doing that? Why arent we saving our drowning people?
M.
A very powerful writing. I feel the futility of it all too. We can't help our son but he won't get help either. We can't have a junkie living with us but can't stand the fact that he's living in squalor either. In our area, they're focusing on heroin prevention, which means not much hope for the already addicted. I don't know what the answer is though, unfortunately.
Thanks for sharing.
Michelle
Thanks for sharing.
Michelle
There are AA & NA meetings in literally every city, town and village in the country.
When the addict/alcoholic comes to the end of their rope they will seek that help or die.
You (we) can't get them to accept help until they are ready.
(that's why it is a disease, no sane person would go through what addicts go through)
Getting government involved would turn recovery into a business (it already is to a big degree).
All the best.
Bob R
When the addict/alcoholic comes to the end of their rope they will seek that help or die.
You (we) can't get them to accept help until they are ready.
(that's why it is a disease, no sane person would go through what addicts go through)
Getting government involved would turn recovery into a business (it already is to a big degree).
All the best.
Bob R
Hi M. You have put in words what I have thought for years. It's almost like it's all in our heads and there is no drug problem in the world. None of our governments help. I have been asking for help for 17 yrs. When my daughter was first addicted to heroin the clinics had nowhere to put her. They only had places for over 18 year olds. I was told there was nowhere for her age group.Have you ever heard of anything so ridiculous? I detoxed her at home that time. Two weeks ago I heard on the news that 400 people in NH died last year of drug overdoses. It's an epidemic!! That's more than one a day in such a small State too. One of them was an 11yr old who died of a heroin overdose! Tragic! Can you imagine? What is it going to take to get someone to face this problem and finally do something about it. Your right it is barbaric! You would think we were living in the Middle Ages instead of the 21st century. If they can send men to the moon and back surely someone somewhere can come up with a solution to help our addicts. It's an invisible problem that no one wants to take on. It's a disgrace! If it was Whales or Dolphins I'm sure something would have been done by now. The Hollywood crowd would be out in numbers "save the whales" and giving money to the cause. I have nothing against Whales or Dolphins I would just like to save humans first. This has been ignored for at least 17 of my years when it hit my family. I'm sure people have been suffering longer. I could go on all night writing about how disgraceful our people in authority have been. I believe that politicians aren't interested in anything more than games of politics because none of them that have been elected these last 17 yrs have done anything to help our kids. They've failed us! What is it going to take and do we have to wait another couple of decades before help arrives? Sorry I'm not much of a writer. I just get so mad about it all. Mary.
Thank you everybody for writing your thoughts on this subject. I am currently trying to contact various workers in the field and so on, to compose the wording of how we would like drug addiction to be included in the Mental Health Act, to have it officially recognized as a mental health issue. Then I will look into how to start an on-line petition, to support this idea. I will keep you posted on progress or not. Everyone sharing their thoughts on this message board also helps, to demonstrate our concerns. Thanks so much! My story was published in the Surrey Leader and also the Peace Arch News on February 10th, so I am hoping there will be responses to it and some suggestions on how to proceed with this. Thanks again!
Maureen K.
Maureen K.
