Well, this is amazing!!!
Some of you may recall that a few months ago I started going to AA. Well, I actually went to one meeting and never went again. I kept very quiet about that on here though because I was embarassed and felt a failure!!
I wanted to do the programme though, I wanted to work the steps but was intimidated by them. I feel like some of the things I have done I just cannot face, let alone tell anyone about them and make amends!! So, I carry on my recovery in my way with these little demons hidden away inside me.
I have been considering going back to AA lately but haven't done anything about it.
As it happens, I know a man who has just done a detox off methadone and alcohol - at the same time!! I take my hat off to him, he is amazing. Anyway, each time I see him he tells me I should go to NA. He said it again today, so I said, OK I will.
Then the fear hit me like crazy!! ....NA, you shouldn't be going there, you're not an addict, you can't justify this, you've been clean 22 months, this is ridiculous, what are you doing, you're gonna look stupid, you're not a smackhead, NA is for drug users........
I went anyway, and boy am I glad I did!!!! Tonight I really feel like I arrived home, it was wonderful, absolutely wonderful. I felt so welcome, so at home and so on the same level as everyone there, it was truly liberating. I am going again tomorrow, and Friday. I am going out on boxing day with them all. I have found where I belong!! Incredible, I never thought this would happen!!!
Truth is, drugs seriously messed me up. My head / psyche are still sick and nowhere can I be understood better than at this place. Alcohol is a drug, one of many that I abused. I am comfortable with being alcoholic now, and when I said I was alcoholic when I got there, they just said, 'you're one of us'.
Now I have to admit that I am an addict. Mmmm....back to denial. Ho hum!!
If I pick up a drug or a drink it will create a habit, there is no middle ground, it is all or nothing.
I will do this, I will take those steps, it's just taking me a long time to get there!!
| QUOTE |
| it's just taking me a long time to get there!! |
Its not a race. If you are going forwards, you are not going backwards. I need to remind myself of this all the time, "Lord give me patience and please hurry up!" Oh well...
one day at a time, Cookster
Cool! Stick with it--it's a design for living that you will find incredibly freeing--I can only imagine how the journey will embrace you--especially as the artist in you grabs onto it. Soooo glad you've found a way forward!
Lacey,
~~Big smile~~
I remember that feeling and the best part is I still have that feeling everytime I walk into a meeting and it only gets better as the walls come down from around me and I allow people in, the love and support that I get from my fellowship is undescribable and I know that there is nothing that I can go through that the women in my group wouldn't be there to hold my hand and walk with me through it.....
Merry Christmas and thanks for sharing....I love it!
xoxo
Stacey
~~Big smile~~
| QUOTE |
| I have found where I belong!! Incredible, I never thought this would happen!!! |
I remember that feeling and the best part is I still have that feeling everytime I walk into a meeting and it only gets better as the walls come down from around me and I allow people in, the love and support that I get from my fellowship is undescribable and I know that there is nothing that I can go through that the women in my group wouldn't be there to hold my hand and walk with me through it.....
Merry Christmas and thanks for sharing....I love it!
xoxo
Stacey
Isn't funny how we often end up where were supposed to be after all. I think God just waits for us to get out of the way so he can do his job sometimes. I really sense my HP whom I call God is nudging me gently towards AA. Why else have I been so curious lately about those steps?
It's great that they made you feel right at home. Well thats because you are Lacey. Isn't nice to belong somewhere, where you don't feel like an out cast. Where your loved and excepted without judgement. Because theres nothing you could say that would shock these people. Because they are like you and me.
Lacey, it doesn't matter how long it took you to get there. What really matters is your there. Heres one of my slogans I shared at rehab this last spring/summer. I think my DA counselor who's 62 from NY kept it under his hat of rememberance as it's just simple. I was getting ready to get ready. Here's one I heard recently that I like hope you like it to. I might not be where I want to be but, thank God I'm not where I used to be. I hear the excitement in your voice Lacey I'm so chuffed for you my friend.
Merry Christmas Love, Chris
It's great that they made you feel right at home. Well thats because you are Lacey. Isn't nice to belong somewhere, where you don't feel like an out cast. Where your loved and excepted without judgement. Because theres nothing you could say that would shock these people. Because they are like you and me.
Lacey, it doesn't matter how long it took you to get there. What really matters is your there. Heres one of my slogans I shared at rehab this last spring/summer. I think my DA counselor who's 62 from NY kept it under his hat of rememberance as it's just simple. I was getting ready to get ready. Here's one I heard recently that I like hope you like it to. I might not be where I want to be but, thank God I'm not where I used to be. I hear the excitement in your voice Lacey I'm so chuffed for you my friend.
Merry Christmas Love, Chris
Good post, Chris....
For a majority of my life, I never felt like I *fit* in anywhere, even in my own family but I've come to find out, it wasn't all the people or places around me, it was me and when I walked into AA, I do believe it was my HP, God who lead me there and I felt an overwhelming sense of belonging and acceptance, something I had been searching for my whole life....I do get excited about the fellowship but only because it changed my life and I want others to have what I've been given, the gift of sobriety and the peace, joy, happiness and serenity that came by working the steps and being a part of....
Merry Christmas...I'm happy you're sober today and sharing your ESH with us...
xoxo
Stacey
| QUOTE |
| Isn't nice to belong somewhere, where you don't feel like an out cast. Where your loved and excepted without judgement. Because theres nothing you could say that would shock these people. Because they are like you and me. |
For a majority of my life, I never felt like I *fit* in anywhere, even in my own family but I've come to find out, it wasn't all the people or places around me, it was me and when I walked into AA, I do believe it was my HP, God who lead me there and I felt an overwhelming sense of belonging and acceptance, something I had been searching for my whole life....I do get excited about the fellowship but only because it changed my life and I want others to have what I've been given, the gift of sobriety and the peace, joy, happiness and serenity that came by working the steps and being a part of....
Merry Christmas...I'm happy you're sober today and sharing your ESH with us...
xoxo
Stacey
Gidday Lacey
Its all in the promises and just need our footwork and thanks for your post as the post and replies have just boosted my gratitude to even more greater limits and i know that feeling of belonging and that keeps me coming back...
light and love Zac
Its all in the promises and just need our footwork and thanks for your post as the post and replies have just boosted my gratitude to even more greater limits and i know that feeling of belonging and that keeps me coming back...
light and love Zac
Wow!! Guys, isn't it great!!
I went to my second meeting tonight and once again I loved it! I can't believe how quick that hour and a half goes! I want to get in there and get working the program, I am so excited about it!! I can't wait to be able to share! I know I am jumping ahead of myself but it's just excitement for at last finding where I belong. Just for today is the NA motto and I am embracing it, and the whole fellowship completely. Now I understand!
Skg - thanks. You helped me decide to go by what you have said recently. When you said that the first steps lay the foundation for the scary ones, that made the penny drop and I realised it wasn't so intimidating. Thanks - really.
I went to my second meeting tonight and once again I loved it! I can't believe how quick that hour and a half goes! I want to get in there and get working the program, I am so excited about it!! I can't wait to be able to share! I know I am jumping ahead of myself but it's just excitement for at last finding where I belong. Just for today is the NA motto and I am embracing it, and the whole fellowship completely. Now I understand!
Skg - thanks. You helped me decide to go by what you have said recently. When you said that the first steps lay the foundation for the scary ones, that made the penny drop and I realised it wasn't so intimidating. Thanks - really.
Lacey! Congratulations!! Really! I can see the celebration and acceptance in you posts. Brace yourself: It gets even better!
I am SO GLAD you've found the fellowship of AA and have ginven yourself the gift of hope that this program will do for you what it has done for so many others before you.
I am SO GLAD you've found the fellowship of AA and have ginven yourself the gift of hope that this program will do for you what it has done for so many others before you.
Yep, I have embraced it with open arms!!
Going to another meeting tonight. I especially need the support at the moment with christmas and all that, I have been fighting urges to get off my head.
The fellowship thing is something you have to experience to believe isn't it!?! Awesome. I just wanna keep going to meetings and being around those people.
Thanks again skg; you encouraged me.
Going to another meeting tonight. I especially need the support at the moment with christmas and all that, I have been fighting urges to get off my head.
The fellowship thing is something you have to experience to believe isn't it!?! Awesome. I just wanna keep going to meetings and being around those people.
Thanks again skg; you encouraged me.
Well done ....Lacey ....its Davey from the H board.....to answer yer Q/?.... no i aint ever been to an NA meeting ....but yer enthusiasm gives me a boost so i may just check one out in the new yr.All the best to ya....long may it continue.............Davey
Wahey!! Davey!! Good to see you over these sides man!
Honestly NA is incredible. I would recommend it to any addict. Being with a bunch of people who understand you is awesome. I've done three meetings in three days so far - that's how it's gripped me! Got another one tomorrow.
All the best and enjoy your holiday from work. Good way to ease yourself in actually. Sounds like it's worked well.
Honestly NA is incredible. I would recommend it to any addict. Being with a bunch of people who understand you is awesome. I've done three meetings in three days so far - that's how it's gripped me! Got another one tomorrow.
All the best and enjoy your holiday from work. Good way to ease yourself in actually. Sounds like it's worked well.
Alrite Lacey i just thought i would give back some of the good vibes you sent me ...on the thread over on the H board.Really glad the meetings are hitting the emotional spot for ya .....you sound totally commited and very positive bout them ....a great outlet for you......as this time of year is really difficult to most of us recovering addicts ....may it be a can of brew or a bag of gear we yearn for.....but like you i am commited to having a clean xmas....so out with the negative thoughts.Chat soon and it was great to link up with ya......take care.........Davey
Cool, nice one Davey!!
Yep, sober and clean christmas all the way, it's gotta be. The hell that waits on the other side of picking up the drug or the drink just ain't worth it!
Have a guddun man!
Gotta go, a recovering addict has just come round!!
Yep, sober and clean christmas all the way, it's gotta be. The hell that waits on the other side of picking up the drug or the drink just ain't worth it!
Have a guddun man!
Gotta go, a recovering addict has just come round!!
