Coming Out Of Hell With Opiates............

Pain Pills
1

I have been gone from this board, for months and it is a strange feeling posting! In the past several months a lot has changed in my life. I ended up going to treatment in spite of the fact that I said a thousand times that I would never go. I hit my rock bottom, and had no where to go except admit that my life had become unmanageble, and out of control. What really pushed me over the edge was the fact that I had lost 3 childhood friends that I had grown up with all in the time frame of 1 month. These were women that had been in my wedding, and I in theres.

With the help of several friends, and particularly one from this message board, all helped with getting me into Detox, and then inpatient Treatment for 23 days. My life has been changed forever, and I must say a very defining moment in my life. My story is opiates.... it starts, and ends with all the destruction that comes with using. I detoxed for 24 hours and then went on Bupenorphine (Sub) for a month, that was all my doctor would do for me. In my state like many, doctors can only have 30 patients on the Sub at a time, and it really works like a revolving door. Hopefully in the near future, the law will change. Even my doctor admitted that it was a raw deal only being on it for 30 days. I left treatment and then had w/d from the Sub, and I white nuckled it for 2 weeks. Everything that I did was overwhelming... going to the bathroom, taking care of my 3 children, getting dressed or taking a shower.... BUT, I did manage to get myself to AA/NA meetings. 5 meetings in 4 days. Then after two weeks of hell, I turned the corner, and I now have energy and a great outlook on life. I am thankful to be alilve. I am thankful for the friends that I have (love you CW). I am thankful for my family. I am thankful to my Higher Power for never giving up on me. I am thankful for this message board. I don't think I would be here if it wasn't for this board in my quest for living a clean life, and getting support that I needed at any given time. I have walked away from this board, and have a friend for life. I am Sober today, and I have 2 months. I am GREATFUL that I am in recovery. I have not relapsed, and never plan on going to hell again....... Shabee

2
Shabee... it was sooo good to read your post! I can tell by your words how happy you are and how much better you feel! It is stories like yours that i love to here! Love and God Bless,Bri :)
3
Maybe a few more meetings are in order....
4
Hi Shabee...
I've been lurking since last February and I remember you...I just wanted to say, you do sound great....congratulations on your clean time!
Take care
5
Shabee!!! CONGTRATS...Im sure that had to have been terribly hard going but it sounds like now you do not regret it.

I hope to make a new friend.

See ya Tuesday for coffee...when Im back from florida.

Wendy
6
Congratulations Shabee,

I'm sure many good things are coming your way!

Beck
7
Welcome back Shabee! You have a very powerful message to share on this forum. I'm sorry for all the pain you've had to endure, but it is only when we hit that bottom unfortunately, that we open our eyes and realize how good a life of sobriety really is. Our HP has other, greater plans in store for us IMO.

You're a winner Shabee! Keep us posted on how you're doing.

Jim
8
Sarcasm is veiled hostility
9
There's always open hostility which is what she showed me on my thread....


and now I know why.
10
This thread isn't about you.
11
an eye for an eye? we'll all end up blind...
12
Hello, Mrs Shabee!!!

I am glad you came out and told your story. You were missed. Opiates are sssooooo hard to quit, and i am glad that you went the treatment route.

Now, it is important that you don't forget a few things.....make sure you cut off all of your sources. All. Everyone. And, when you get cravings, tell on yourself....this one is crucial. Our ego comes back when we start to feel better.

Hugs.

Why would you write that, CG? I don't get it. I have been away, but I really hate it when people use the program to fight or slap others. That isn't what it is intended for.

Kerry
13
Littlebeach!!!! OH, so glad to here from you. You have mail in a sec.....
14
Ok... back from an AA meeting. I look at the thread that I posted this morning, about MY recovery and Cowgirl took it upon herself to change the post that she had originally posted to me. Her first post was supportive, and nice.... THEN she went back in and changed her post to be mean, and a POKE back at me... Hummmmmm, a post on recovery and then a slap in the face. Cowgirl, you never sise to amaze me, NEVER. Does it make you feel better to belittle people here on the message board? I see right through you, I have from the start. Get yourself off the computer, and get to a meeting everyday. If you really go to meetings you would know and understand that all the crap that you pull here on this message board would never fly............Get out of the gossip, and get into recovery. You love the drama here, and the way in which you talk to people I think that you enjoy being mean to other addicts- Just my 2 cents-
15
Shabee
Thank you for your posting. I have been reading all day on this site and its good to hear that I will make it.I hope. 4 days without pain pills, 1 day without xanax and valium. climbing the walls and losing my mind will pass for me. I just hope I can make it like you.
Thanks
16
That is a powerful message Shabee. You sound great. I wonder why you had w/ds from the sub? i mean i thought it was supposed to curtail those? i dont get it... oh well. Anyway, stay strong!!!---
17
Aprill-

I am so encouraged by your post. Trust me.... the pain will pass, and being Sober is better than I ever thought it would feel. Waking up everyday not shaking to get pills in my mouth. If you have any questions, or feel like you want to vent please do and I will post to you- The pain will pass trust me on this, I have been through prolonged use several times, and got through all the w/d's... all the phases, and you can do this! I believe in you :)
18
bc chic,

an eye for an eye we'll all end up blind.


Good one!!!!!!!!!!LOLOL

Can i borrow that for future use??!LOLOL

Hugs,

Ali
19
Shabee
Please watch for me and my questions. I am just begining and I really need the help. This message board is the only place for me to talk about this. no one else knows I have this problem, only my husband and he wont talk to me about it at all. He says deal with it.
So please watch for me and pray for me.
april
20
Aprill

I know that you are so overwhelmed, and scared right now.... Have you given any thought to attend AA/NA meeting where you live? Get on your compter and google AA, and it will give you directions where to find a meeting where you live. You need some face to face support. I will watch for you.... Each day gets better, and I know that you do not believe it, but it does. Hang on!!!