Pearly Baker, my fiance, sent this too me this morning. For me this is about the first three words of the Second Step.
Ladies - I found this on my Starbucks cup the other day...it reminds me that I make commitments on a daily basis so my crazy head doesn't spin and try to "talk me out of" everything that's good in my life.
If I commit to my program in the morning then I don't start "thinking" about going to my meeting later in the day ... I just go. 'Cause I can talk myself
out of anything - even my need/desire/want to have a program (I don't need that, it's not helping me anyway...NOT!!!).
If I commit to my job in the morning then I don't spend the day at work thinking about all the bad stuff and what I don't like about it - I've committed to it for the day, so I just banish those thoughts and move on,
able to enjoy what's there to enjoy.
If I commit to my marriage in the morning then I'm willing to accept my husband for exactly who he is, where he is right now and love him for exactly that. I don't have to start picking at what he's doing or not
doing....
Thanks for letting me share - so much -
The Way I See It #76
The irony of commitment is that it?s deeply liberating - in work, in play, in love. The act frees you from the tyranny of your internal critic, from the fear that likes to dress itself up and parade around as
rational hesitation. To commit is to remove your head as the barrier to your life.
So is she saying that by committing you don't have to worry about having to play ping pong in your head and not know what to do?
Yup--I think ya got it. You make the decision, and then you follow through with your actions. Frees up space in your head, which we addicts immediately try to fill up with some other kind of drama. Takes some exercise, but again, worth the effort.
I like that.I need to print that out and stick it on my door because I don't want to work today because of one stupid phone call I got this morning.
Thanks
Thanks
That was excellent! I never thought of commitment as "free-ing" but reading this, I can see it is exactly that! I am going to find time every morning when I sit with my coffee, watch the sunrise and think about the day ahead..to commit to my kids, my job and or course, my sobriety. Thanks for these great words of wisdom!!!!!!!!!
Hi August,
I didn't make the meeting last night. Ken and I went to Nikki's (daughter's new and first apartment) and I didn't get back on time. Ken and Paul (Nick's boyfriend) smoked weed. He didn't admit it, but I can tell and I can smell.
I told him about this and that I needed support, that he needs to keep his klonopin (same as xanax) somewhere safe. Last night I went to brush my teeth and since I treated him like crap all night for getting high (with good reason) he had that bottle in my medicine cabinet. August that is frikking mean. He knows.
I hope you don't have to ask if I used or not because I did not.
But that to me is mentally abusive.
I can see where growing and getting used to change is good. Because one day a big one will be in order before I'll put up with this. I'm angry but don't want to dwell.
As long as I don't put a pill in my mouth. And to tell you the truth, all I thought about since I saw his cloudy eyes was getting high. I think that was the plan.
Please don't think I'm paranoid, he does this. Bet you never heard of that one, or is that common? It can't be.
I didn't make the meeting last night. Ken and I went to Nikki's (daughter's new and first apartment) and I didn't get back on time. Ken and Paul (Nick's boyfriend) smoked weed. He didn't admit it, but I can tell and I can smell.
I told him about this and that I needed support, that he needs to keep his klonopin (same as xanax) somewhere safe. Last night I went to brush my teeth and since I treated him like crap all night for getting high (with good reason) he had that bottle in my medicine cabinet. August that is frikking mean. He knows.
I hope you don't have to ask if I used or not because I did not.
But that to me is mentally abusive.
I can see where growing and getting used to change is good. Because one day a big one will be in order before I'll put up with this. I'm angry but don't want to dwell.
As long as I don't put a pill in my mouth. And to tell you the truth, all I thought about since I saw his cloudy eyes was getting high. I think that was the plan.
Please don't think I'm paranoid, he does this. Bet you never heard of that one, or is that common? It can't be.
That is so true. I also think that if we have definite plans for the day we will always muster up the energy to follow through. If I don't have plans my energy level usually is such that I don't attempt much. If I have a super busy day I always manage the energy to keep up.
Note to self. Make plans every day.
Note to self. Make plans every day.
Roe, it does happen. Having never been married, I have not run up against it personally, but I have heard about it quite a bit. I think the idea is that addiction is in essence a family disease. Some are addicts, some are co-dependents, some might fall into other categories for all I know but everybody is effected. John Bradshaw wrote a good book on this, I think it was called The Family. It is for sale on Amazon for about $4.00 used.
Basically, when one person tries to get clean, it disrupts the equilibrium of the entire family system. This can be very threatening, and the classic reaction is to try to restore equilibrium by getting the recovering addict to use. If you ask about this in the meeting you will get a lot of empathy--it is very common.
One aspect of recovery is getting equipped to deal with this kind of stuff. As you can see, when you are new to recovery, it takes very little to get your mind spinning and it is one more argument that your disease has: "quitting is bad for my marriage." This argument is of course a deception. Addiction is very bad for all relationships, but addicts prefer that which is familiar and comfortable to the harsher realities that come with the journey toward a healthier way of life.
The changes brought about by recovery can stress a marriage. Getting clean can make us pretty raw and unless and until we learn to restrain our impulses to speak or write down every thought we have ( because, after all, we are right, you know), we often say or do things that are not beneficial. And then there are the resentments brought about by a loved one who continues to use, and in your case, flaunts that use. Where do I even get started on that! The Program dealsl with this a lot in the 4th step--on resentments--but until you get there, just try not to use.
A half decent marriage can survive a spouse getting sober, Roe. Usually those marriages become better as the result. However, nothing worth having comes easily, and recovery is definitely worth having.
I suspect you are in a spin from all this, and you know what my next suggestion is, Roe. You will feel better if you go, and if you raise your hand and talk about this, you will probably hear a lot of stuff that can be really useful to you.
Hang in there, let me know how you are doing,
With love,
August
Basically, when one person tries to get clean, it disrupts the equilibrium of the entire family system. This can be very threatening, and the classic reaction is to try to restore equilibrium by getting the recovering addict to use. If you ask about this in the meeting you will get a lot of empathy--it is very common.
One aspect of recovery is getting equipped to deal with this kind of stuff. As you can see, when you are new to recovery, it takes very little to get your mind spinning and it is one more argument that your disease has: "quitting is bad for my marriage." This argument is of course a deception. Addiction is very bad for all relationships, but addicts prefer that which is familiar and comfortable to the harsher realities that come with the journey toward a healthier way of life.
The changes brought about by recovery can stress a marriage. Getting clean can make us pretty raw and unless and until we learn to restrain our impulses to speak or write down every thought we have ( because, after all, we are right, you know), we often say or do things that are not beneficial. And then there are the resentments brought about by a loved one who continues to use, and in your case, flaunts that use. Where do I even get started on that! The Program dealsl with this a lot in the 4th step--on resentments--but until you get there, just try not to use.
A half decent marriage can survive a spouse getting sober, Roe. Usually those marriages become better as the result. However, nothing worth having comes easily, and recovery is definitely worth having.
I suspect you are in a spin from all this, and you know what my next suggestion is, Roe. You will feel better if you go, and if you raise your hand and talk about this, you will probably hear a lot of stuff that can be really useful to you.
Hang in there, let me know how you are doing,
With love,
August
Hi August,
Just checking in. I went to a noon meeting yesterday. Another new one. It was pretty good, quite a few people go to more than one I've noticed.
I told Ken that if he puts anything in my medicine cabinet again, I'll flush it. That really got me in a bad mood for awhile, but thats him. I can only control what I do or don't do, so thats his problem. (Yesterdays meeting was about letting go of stuff, ironic given that thats what I needed to do)
Maybe he's scared because he doesn't want me to make changes, I don't know and I'm not going to put any more effort into trying to figure it out. My priority has to be my sobriety. (learned that at a meeting too)
Today I'm going to take Tom (10) shopping for lounge pants and a backpack. Then we're picking up my daughter and taking her to lunch.
I don't know about today for a meeting, when I get home I'll call Pam. I don't have to look online anymore, I have phone numbers of people I can call and they're really nice. After today, I'll know every meeting of every single day. Do you think I'm going too much? Except for Friday, I went every day this week. I actually am looking forward to next week because I'll be familiar with all the meetings already.
Hope you guys are having a good weekend and that Pearly is feeling better.
I'll check in tomorrow.........................................Love, Roe
Just checking in. I went to a noon meeting yesterday. Another new one. It was pretty good, quite a few people go to more than one I've noticed.
I told Ken that if he puts anything in my medicine cabinet again, I'll flush it. That really got me in a bad mood for awhile, but thats him. I can only control what I do or don't do, so thats his problem. (Yesterdays meeting was about letting go of stuff, ironic given that thats what I needed to do)
Maybe he's scared because he doesn't want me to make changes, I don't know and I'm not going to put any more effort into trying to figure it out. My priority has to be my sobriety. (learned that at a meeting too)
Today I'm going to take Tom (10) shopping for lounge pants and a backpack. Then we're picking up my daughter and taking her to lunch.
I don't know about today for a meeting, when I get home I'll call Pam. I don't have to look online anymore, I have phone numbers of people I can call and they're really nice. After today, I'll know every meeting of every single day. Do you think I'm going too much? Except for Friday, I went every day this week. I actually am looking forward to next week because I'll be familiar with all the meetings already.
Hope you guys are having a good weekend and that Pearly is feeling better.
I'll check in tomorrow.........................................Love, Roe
Roe, I do not think you are going to too many meetings. What I am seeing is someone who is really prioritizing well, and for a week, well I am just amazed. Go back a week or two and read some of your posts and compare them to where you are at today.
Sometimes I hear people say that going to meetings is akin to swapping one addiction for another. In some extreme cases, I see their point. I have seen stone cold junkies go to two or three meetings a day early on, but they had nowhere to go, and heck, being addicted to meetings is a lot better than jonesing for your next fix.
A meeting a day is just about where you need to be. I have to tell you that I was a little worried about you until I read this post. Now, that is on me. You are doing this for you, not me, but I do get kind of invested and I want to see you succeed.
Roe, I am so proud of you. It sounds like you are hearing what you need to hear, you are finding the courage to act differently and against the impulses of addiction. You are making friends, and checking out new meetings.
Just keep doing what you are doing. Remember what I said about floating downstream in the currents of our own recovery? I see you doing that, and it really warms my heart.
Let me throw out one more catch-ism for you, Roe. "To thine own self be true." Do what is good for your recovery, and you will begin to see your husband's efforts to maintain the status quo in a new light. Later, you will begin to develop compassion for what he is going through, but for now, you need to guard your sobriety.
Please keep me informed. I just finished up with my band, and that is normally the high point of my week but I think your post may have topped it.
August
Sometimes I hear people say that going to meetings is akin to swapping one addiction for another. In some extreme cases, I see their point. I have seen stone cold junkies go to two or three meetings a day early on, but they had nowhere to go, and heck, being addicted to meetings is a lot better than jonesing for your next fix.
A meeting a day is just about where you need to be. I have to tell you that I was a little worried about you until I read this post. Now, that is on me. You are doing this for you, not me, but I do get kind of invested and I want to see you succeed.
Roe, I am so proud of you. It sounds like you are hearing what you need to hear, you are finding the courage to act differently and against the impulses of addiction. You are making friends, and checking out new meetings.
Just keep doing what you are doing. Remember what I said about floating downstream in the currents of our own recovery? I see you doing that, and it really warms my heart.
Let me throw out one more catch-ism for you, Roe. "To thine own self be true." Do what is good for your recovery, and you will begin to see your husband's efforts to maintain the status quo in a new light. Later, you will begin to develop compassion for what he is going through, but for now, you need to guard your sobriety.
Please keep me informed. I just finished up with my band, and that is normally the high point of my week but I think your post may have topped it.
August
Hi August,
Sorry I didn't post yesterday. This computer has viruses and keeps kicking me off. I called my ISP (Cox) and they gave me all kinds of directions to download antivirus stuff, but the viruses keep shutting me down.
Anyway, I went to last night's meeting, going tonight.
Ken really surprised me. He must have felt bad about the other night, when I got up Sunday, he had a box of all kinds of AA stuff (big book, meditation books, etc.) out for me, he used to go to AA years ago and saved the stuff. He says he's happy for me.
Then he said he should go back to meetings, etc. and maybe we should go together. August I don't mean to sound harsh, but that is the last thing I want. This is something for me, I don't want my husband there. If I have to start taking him, I might as well forget about this working, I can feel it. What should I tell him, I am willing to drop him off at different meetings (if there are any) but I don't want him to go with me. There should be a rule against that, or maybe its just me, but I'm not taking him to mine. Am I being an a**? I don't know. Please tell me what to do.
Seems like everytime I post, I have another problem. Thank you for being here to help me along with this. You'll never know how big of a part you're playing in this. I rely on you because I trust you. Its like your my main "tool" and I know you'll always tell me the right thing to do. I'll always be grateful for you. Sometimes when I don't know what to do its nice to know that I can ask someone I completely trust, I'd never be doing this if it weren't for you. I have gotten used to checking in with you everyday and if/when I have a weak moment, you're in my head and thats a good thing because I'd never want to let you down. And it helps having someone like that in my recovery. Thank you. I'm actually at an advantage having you, and I think this is what has worked this time.
I was getting nervous yesterday when the computer wouldn't let me post because i didn't want you to worry.
So, how do I handle this one? If I tell him how I feel, chances are he'll take it personally and give me the "you never loved me" attitude, then clam up for days and things will be tense around here. If I take him, I will not succeed in this. He always messes me up. I do feel for him, moreso now than before because of stuff I'm learning, I can see where being an alcoholic/addict and not having a program would keep someone in a bad mood, but August I can't take him with me. I feel very strongly about that. He asked me this morning if I was going tonight, I said I didn't know, but I am at 7:30, I'm back to the original Mon/Tue meeting from last week, the one I like.
I'll be on until the computer shuts down again......
Love,
Roe
Sorry I didn't post yesterday. This computer has viruses and keeps kicking me off. I called my ISP (Cox) and they gave me all kinds of directions to download antivirus stuff, but the viruses keep shutting me down.
Anyway, I went to last night's meeting, going tonight.
Ken really surprised me. He must have felt bad about the other night, when I got up Sunday, he had a box of all kinds of AA stuff (big book, meditation books, etc.) out for me, he used to go to AA years ago and saved the stuff. He says he's happy for me.
Then he said he should go back to meetings, etc. and maybe we should go together. August I don't mean to sound harsh, but that is the last thing I want. This is something for me, I don't want my husband there. If I have to start taking him, I might as well forget about this working, I can feel it. What should I tell him, I am willing to drop him off at different meetings (if there are any) but I don't want him to go with me. There should be a rule against that, or maybe its just me, but I'm not taking him to mine. Am I being an a**? I don't know. Please tell me what to do.
Seems like everytime I post, I have another problem. Thank you for being here to help me along with this. You'll never know how big of a part you're playing in this. I rely on you because I trust you. Its like your my main "tool" and I know you'll always tell me the right thing to do. I'll always be grateful for you. Sometimes when I don't know what to do its nice to know that I can ask someone I completely trust, I'd never be doing this if it weren't for you. I have gotten used to checking in with you everyday and if/when I have a weak moment, you're in my head and thats a good thing because I'd never want to let you down. And it helps having someone like that in my recovery. Thank you. I'm actually at an advantage having you, and I think this is what has worked this time.
I was getting nervous yesterday when the computer wouldn't let me post because i didn't want you to worry.
So, how do I handle this one? If I tell him how I feel, chances are he'll take it personally and give me the "you never loved me" attitude, then clam up for days and things will be tense around here. If I take him, I will not succeed in this. He always messes me up. I do feel for him, moreso now than before because of stuff I'm learning, I can see where being an alcoholic/addict and not having a program would keep someone in a bad mood, but August I can't take him with me. I feel very strongly about that. He asked me this morning if I was going tonight, I said I didn't know, but I am at 7:30, I'm back to the original Mon/Tue meeting from last week, the one I like.
I'll be on until the computer shuts down again......
Love,
Roe
Roe, I used to joke that married couples should never attend meetings together, because how can they talk about the other spouse?
Your husband is scared that he is losing you. This is a touchy area where you need to set some boundaries. I suspect some of your new friends will have plenty to say about this, but the bottom line is that you need to let him know that you are a happy that he wants to pursue recovery, and you want to support him, and you think it will lead to your both having a better marriage.
Although you are excited about this new turn of events, you feel that it is important in these early days that you attend meetings by yourself. You can talk about the fact that it is a selfish program; you have to do this for me and not for we. You can hold forth the promise that after you are both sober for awhile then it might be nice to attend a meeting together once in a while.
Lastly, after you hold your ground (say what you mean, mean what you say, but dont say it mean) you have to allow him the discretion to get mad and sulk for a while. That is his business not yours. If he is serious about recovery, he can go to a meeting and talk about the huge resentment he has against you. I assure you he will hear what he needs to hear.
I go to a meeting each week with my fianc. That is not the meeting where I will speak of the stress and resentments I have about my new spouse. How could I possibly open up and get the help I need if she were sitting there listening to me talk alike that? She goes to a lot of meetings and loves to joke about how they devote the entire meeting to talking about me. Hey just because I am paranoid does not mean they are not out to get me, right?
I hope this makes sense. I am a little off my game today re my other thread.
I am so happy to hear from you, Roe. Believe me, everything is unfolding exactly as it should. Trust me on this. Your job is to show up and do your part.
Hang in there,
August
Your husband is scared that he is losing you. This is a touchy area where you need to set some boundaries. I suspect some of your new friends will have plenty to say about this, but the bottom line is that you need to let him know that you are a happy that he wants to pursue recovery, and you want to support him, and you think it will lead to your both having a better marriage.
Although you are excited about this new turn of events, you feel that it is important in these early days that you attend meetings by yourself. You can talk about the fact that it is a selfish program; you have to do this for me and not for we. You can hold forth the promise that after you are both sober for awhile then it might be nice to attend a meeting together once in a while.
Lastly, after you hold your ground (say what you mean, mean what you say, but dont say it mean) you have to allow him the discretion to get mad and sulk for a while. That is his business not yours. If he is serious about recovery, he can go to a meeting and talk about the huge resentment he has against you. I assure you he will hear what he needs to hear.
I go to a meeting each week with my fianc. That is not the meeting where I will speak of the stress and resentments I have about my new spouse. How could I possibly open up and get the help I need if she were sitting there listening to me talk alike that? She goes to a lot of meetings and loves to joke about how they devote the entire meeting to talking about me. Hey just because I am paranoid does not mean they are not out to get me, right?
I hope this makes sense. I am a little off my game today re my other thread.
I am so happy to hear from you, Roe. Believe me, everything is unfolding exactly as it should. Trust me on this. Your job is to show up and do your part.
Hang in there,
August
Hi August,
I hope your doing better today. Is this girl's dad the one that likes adderal? I think you said you had a brother that liked that.
She should talk to you. I don't know anything about methadone other than the times I've tried it (not under drs. care) it really got me high, so I guess I just don't get that whole methadone to get better thing.
I think they should make an injection or a pill that has something in it to make an addict very sick if they drink or use, something that continues working for a week. Its simple, why don't they have something like that?
Anyway, just checking in. Went last night and it was good. I talked to a couple of girls about Ken and nobody thinks thats a good idea. (meetings together)
I tried to assure him that by my doing this, it can only benefit us. We've been married for 23 years and if I'm going to try to make things better and have a good marriage, I'd never start over with someone else. I'd work on what I already have.
But that is down the road. I have to keep first things first, and for now, its going to a meeting everyday and trying to apply what I'm learning to my daily life.
Are the steps coming soon? Is that up to me or does someone tell me when? I like just going and listening. Is that still ok for now?
When is your 19th anniversary? You mentioned at the end of the month.
Things will work out with your niece and great neice, you'll see. I don't understand why she doesn't let you help her. You have so much to offer and are very generous with helping people, I'd think she'd be talking to you everyday, but then again, with family things aren't always that easy.
So hang in there kiddo, you've got alot going on now. Just want to let you know that I'm doing good I think, and plan on continuing my meetings.
Love,
Roe
I hope your doing better today. Is this girl's dad the one that likes adderal? I think you said you had a brother that liked that.
She should talk to you. I don't know anything about methadone other than the times I've tried it (not under drs. care) it really got me high, so I guess I just don't get that whole methadone to get better thing.
I think they should make an injection or a pill that has something in it to make an addict very sick if they drink or use, something that continues working for a week. Its simple, why don't they have something like that?
Anyway, just checking in. Went last night and it was good. I talked to a couple of girls about Ken and nobody thinks thats a good idea. (meetings together)
I tried to assure him that by my doing this, it can only benefit us. We've been married for 23 years and if I'm going to try to make things better and have a good marriage, I'd never start over with someone else. I'd work on what I already have.
But that is down the road. I have to keep first things first, and for now, its going to a meeting everyday and trying to apply what I'm learning to my daily life.
Are the steps coming soon? Is that up to me or does someone tell me when? I like just going and listening. Is that still ok for now?
When is your 19th anniversary? You mentioned at the end of the month.
Things will work out with your niece and great neice, you'll see. I don't understand why she doesn't let you help her. You have so much to offer and are very generous with helping people, I'd think she'd be talking to you everyday, but then again, with family things aren't always that easy.
So hang in there kiddo, you've got alot going on now. Just want to let you know that I'm doing good I think, and plan on continuing my meetings.
Love,
Roe
"Are the steps coming soon? Is that up to me or does someone tell me when? I like just going and listening. Is that still ok for now? When is your 19th anniversary? You mentioned at the end of the month. "
Roe, if you want to maintain your 4.0 grade point average in recovery, you need to have Step 12 completed by midnight. LOL. It is your recovery. The steps are suggestions, and it is up to you to decide on the pace. Some need to jump right in, others come around a little more slowly. I think going to a meeting every day is exactly where you need to be right now.
I think you have gotten some phone numbers and perhaps you might try phoning some of the women you have met just to say hi and let them know how it is going. They do not have to be long or involved conversations, it is just another way of connecting with your new community.
You will know when it is time to start working the steps. You will get squirrelly, and will decide to either work a step or use a drug. I hope you will choose the steps when you get to that dark and tender moment. Connecting with the program is the way to make sure that happens. But the pace is all yours. No one has the right to tell you how to work your own program.
I celebrate my birthday on the last day of February. I walked into a NA meeting two days after the last time I used, and never picked up a white chip. Too shy. Never sure which day I got sober, so I just remember it as the last day of February.
I am so proud of you, Roe. With all that I have going on, you are a beacon in my life right now.
Your friend,
August
Roe, if you want to maintain your 4.0 grade point average in recovery, you need to have Step 12 completed by midnight. LOL. It is your recovery. The steps are suggestions, and it is up to you to decide on the pace. Some need to jump right in, others come around a little more slowly. I think going to a meeting every day is exactly where you need to be right now.
I think you have gotten some phone numbers and perhaps you might try phoning some of the women you have met just to say hi and let them know how it is going. They do not have to be long or involved conversations, it is just another way of connecting with your new community.
You will know when it is time to start working the steps. You will get squirrelly, and will decide to either work a step or use a drug. I hope you will choose the steps when you get to that dark and tender moment. Connecting with the program is the way to make sure that happens. But the pace is all yours. No one has the right to tell you how to work your own program.
I celebrate my birthday on the last day of February. I walked into a NA meeting two days after the last time I used, and never picked up a white chip. Too shy. Never sure which day I got sober, so I just remember it as the last day of February.
I am so proud of you, Roe. With all that I have going on, you are a beacon in my life right now.
Your friend,
August
Hi Roe - It's nice that you are inspiring your husband to get clean. It was sweet of him to bring out the literature. I wouldn't recommend going to meetings together. My husband asked if I wanted him to come with me and I said ahhhhh - NO. It was my addiction journey and it will be my recovery journey. I have read him some passages from the books and he said everyone should journey through something like the steps. I'm glad he is in total support. That helps alot. Some men would get really insecure about it. He may flip flop on it as well. You'll have to reassure him that you want to change for the better.
Your situation is hard because you don't want to dissuade him from going but you need to do this for you. You're making connections and getting out of the house at night. He is probably a little insecure about it. He's definitely proud of you and thats great!
When you're ready you can buy the step working guide and start looking over the questions. I think you should have a sponser first though. It sounds like you want to jump right in and get started. If you're ready, go for it! I am halfway through writing on my first step. I had to put it down today because my feelings of regret were pretty intense. I bought a spiral notebook and write everything down in it. There is alot of writing in that book. I hide it from my family. Don't want my girls to know all the stuff I've done. They have already reminded me of the crazy stories they have heard about me. I try to tell them that at the time I thought I was having fun but it became very painful to me. My little one seems drawn to the party life. Scary as she is only 12. My daughter that I worry about so much is 13 and an athlete. I think she is going to try to live with me forever.
Anyway any time you want to talk you can email me at ABCPoli@comcast.net.
Keep up the good work. Alice
Your situation is hard because you don't want to dissuade him from going but you need to do this for you. You're making connections and getting out of the house at night. He is probably a little insecure about it. He's definitely proud of you and thats great!
When you're ready you can buy the step working guide and start looking over the questions. I think you should have a sponser first though. It sounds like you want to jump right in and get started. If you're ready, go for it! I am halfway through writing on my first step. I had to put it down today because my feelings of regret were pretty intense. I bought a spiral notebook and write everything down in it. There is alot of writing in that book. I hide it from my family. Don't want my girls to know all the stuff I've done. They have already reminded me of the crazy stories they have heard about me. I try to tell them that at the time I thought I was having fun but it became very painful to me. My little one seems drawn to the party life. Scary as she is only 12. My daughter that I worry about so much is 13 and an athlete. I think she is going to try to live with me forever.
Anyway any time you want to talk you can email me at ABCPoli@comcast.net.
Keep up the good work. Alice
Hi Alice,
Thanks for the post. I'm glad your husband supports you. I thought people would tell me I'm being selfish by wanting to go by myself. I'm glad so far everyone agrees with me. That just would not work out.
Its around 3:30 and I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd get up and check the board.
How long have you been clean Alice?
You've got 12 and 13 year old girls. Do they fight or are they pretty close? My teenagers (18 & 15) get along, but they're both mean to the baby, he's 10.
When they were little I remember thinking I'd quit when they're older and less work, but now that they're older, they're more work and they know too much, now I wish I'd have quit when they were little.
I'm going to put your email in my address book, I probably will email you with step questions if you don't mind. Mine is t.roseanne@gmail.com feel free to use it.
Roe
PS: The other post made me laugh, I do the same thing. I'll find something I really like and then eat it constantly until I'm so sick of it I never want it again.
Between the candy and the coffee creamer flavors I've been buying I think I'm after the caffeine/sugar high.
Thanks for the post. I'm glad your husband supports you. I thought people would tell me I'm being selfish by wanting to go by myself. I'm glad so far everyone agrees with me. That just would not work out.
Its around 3:30 and I couldn't sleep, so I thought I'd get up and check the board.
How long have you been clean Alice?
You've got 12 and 13 year old girls. Do they fight or are they pretty close? My teenagers (18 & 15) get along, but they're both mean to the baby, he's 10.
When they were little I remember thinking I'd quit when they're older and less work, but now that they're older, they're more work and they know too much, now I wish I'd have quit when they were little.
I'm going to put your email in my address book, I probably will email you with step questions if you don't mind. Mine is t.roseanne@gmail.com feel free to use it.
Roe
PS: The other post made me laugh, I do the same thing. I'll find something I really like and then eat it constantly until I'm so sick of it I never want it again.
Between the candy and the coffee creamer flavors I've been buying I think I'm after the caffeine/sugar high.
Alice, Roe, I gained 20 lbs during my first year sober. Most of that was frozen pizzas and Ben and Jerry's ice creme. A lot of people start having cravings when they get clean.
I have always had issues with my weight but getting sober was so important to me that I let that go for a couple of years. After I got on a strong foundation in my recovery, I got into athletics and became quite fit.
Alice, great advice to Roe. Roe, please listen to Alice. She is not much further along that you, and my guess is that the two of you would relate to each other well.
I have to get my music practice in before the day begins.
All the best,
August.
I have always had issues with my weight but getting sober was so important to me that I let that go for a couple of years. After I got on a strong foundation in my recovery, I got into athletics and became quite fit.
Alice, great advice to Roe. Roe, please listen to Alice. She is not much further along that you, and my guess is that the two of you would relate to each other well.
I have to get my music practice in before the day begins.
All the best,
August.
