Hi all,
This is my first time posting here, but I have been reading post's for about 2 weeks.
We have a 19 year old guy currently living with us. We have known him for about 3 years. He started out as my daughter's boyfriend, but they have since broke up and are now friends.
I'll try to make this short, but I want to give you a little history so hopefully you will have an idea about his situation.
He lived with his dad (mom lives out of state) and dad decided to move to the east coast( were on the west coast) at the end of his senior year. He did not want to go with his dad so his dad let him stay and he ended up living with a family friend. That lasted about 18 months and he left to get an apartment with some friends. He was working and going to school and seemed to be doing ok. Then he got fired because he did not pass a drug test, and that put him in a slump. He ended up getting another job until this past summer when his uncle asked him to live with him and work.
Well he went out of town for the summer and made some good money, he would come here on most weekends and hang out with friends.
Then he came back to town and we agreed to let him live here to get started in Junior College and find a job, then he planned to get his own apartment again.
Well--- 2 weeks ago I got a call from him from in jail. He had got arrested in a drug sting buying black tar heroin that he smokes.
I had no idea he was using heroin and thankfully my daughter had not been using. We have talked with him about getting clean and how his drug use will not be tolerated in our house. He has gone to court and has another court date next week, he will probably have to go to rehab, but I don't know if he will get probation or not.
My concern at this point is that I don't know if he has been truthful with us and if he is still using. He say's he has been clean and wants to stop,.but I know this is a powerful drug and can he stop?
He was using on and off for about 1 year so I know it will be hard. I don't want to kick him out of here because he has nowhere to go.
Any suggestions about what to talk to him about? I don't alway's want to be asking him so many questions about using, but I also want him to be right.
We love him and want to help him, but this is such a stressful situation.
Thanks for any input to this and sorry it's so long.
Marcia
Sounds like you have a good heart. Just remember when you have rattler as a pet don't try to pet it. It will hurt.
Hi. It is always hard to tell if soe one is telling you the truth or not. I am a nurse for a local methadone clinic and have come to care for many of my clients. As well as I may think I know them and they tell me to my face that I have been clean , after a urine test it comes back dirty. I feel the only way to really know if he is telling the truth is by doing the same. have him go for a drug test. They have dips that are inexpensive than comparing to sending it out. Tell him you are willing to help him out but he has to help himself out first. Try going in patient. If he refuses have him go to a half way house to stay where he will be under supervision. Tell him to go for counseling. It is hard to be so strict with people we care about but if we don't set these rules they may continue to use. Watch when he is around your daughter. You never know just how easy it is to get young children to want to try new things especially with people the family knows (they figure they won't hurt them). I wish you a lot of luck and my prayers will be with you.
