I was in a relationship with a functioning crack addict. He got a new job & started to change. Starting to act like he was better than me. Before this he had jobs that didn't last very long but he ikes to make money to Support his own habit. I ended our relationship about 5 months ago because I felt disrespected to the MAX. He claims his ex's best friend is like a Sister to him. Well,,, however I caught him riding with all of them. If you know your ex is a problem y would you even be with them. His excuse was they were drinking & needed a driver. So he was driving. Are u serious? He begged to come back but I never got back with him. However, he dropped by the house but that didn't change my decision. Hes been in a drug program several times & he claims it doesn't work. I asked him to seek help for his addiction in order for us to move forward & to save our relationship. Also, i would rather him not be with the ex or her best friend. It's like the best friend who supposed to be like a Sister tells him what to do. Anyways,,,, he didn't agree or try to make the changes I asked but he still calls & even come by. I still love him & I want us to wrk but I don't see any changes taking place. He just got a job driving big rigs on the road. He's completely changed. Riding that high horse again. I don't even think he's even concerned about our relationship anymore cause I think he feels like he can buy him a new woman. I don't know y I care so much but I do. Ive tried to get him out my head & move on. Even changed numbers & everything but he called an old phone i still have. Somebody speak on this situation or give me some advice on it. Totally confused
This is going to be short and sweet: Real life should not be confusing. Go to NarAnon or Alanon. Start turning in the direction of "WHATS GOOD FOR ME". ME, ME, ME. You are stuck and he is still holding the strings. Cut him loose. Leave the past behind and set you sights on yourself.
Thanks Nytoflorida!! I appreciate that you took the time to give me your advice on the situation. 33 views and only 1 post & it was yours. Thanks!
i don't know what he thinks but if i go by stuff you said then he wont change anything for you, he wont stop seeing his ex even knowing she is trouble and obviously his best friends is still BF .. he wont look for help regarding his drug problem , all in all he looks to me like somebody in big denial ... you need to move on and forget about this guy, he brought you only stress and hurt! Being in relationship should make you happy , tolerance, appreciation, love, tenderness, friendship all this feelings should be active between you 2 ... I would try to concentrate on myself if i was on your place or if you insist give him one more chance to change to prove you wrong but if he say he wont even try then forget about him
The problem you are having really has little to do with him and everything to do with you! Why do you put up with this behavior? Why do you think this is all you deserve? Why is your self esteem wrapped up in what he does or doesn't do?
I would definitely read all you can about codependency. It can be just as deadly as active addiction, and, it is actually a form of addiction itself.
Groups like CoDA (co-dependents Anonymous) or Nar-anon or Al-anon are free and available in almost every town. There are websites and also tons of books out there on the subject.
You deserve a partner who takes your thoughts and feelings into consideration. You deserve a partner who doesn't talk down to you in an effort to make you feel small. You deserve to be in a safe relationship based on mutual admiration and respect. You will not get these things from a guy in active addiction, who has already proven to you time and time again that he does not have a vested interest in your relationship.
You deserve better! Remember, we teach people how to treat us!!! By allowing him to continue to behave this way, you are saying, without words, that it is ok for him to do so. Please, know that you are worthy of good things in your life, and that includes relationships. It is time to teach him that you deserve more and that his time is up!
I would definitely read all you can about codependency. It can be just as deadly as active addiction, and, it is actually a form of addiction itself.
Groups like CoDA (co-dependents Anonymous) or Nar-anon or Al-anon are free and available in almost every town. There are websites and also tons of books out there on the subject.
You deserve a partner who takes your thoughts and feelings into consideration. You deserve a partner who doesn't talk down to you in an effort to make you feel small. You deserve to be in a safe relationship based on mutual admiration and respect. You will not get these things from a guy in active addiction, who has already proven to you time and time again that he does not have a vested interest in your relationship.
You deserve better! Remember, we teach people how to treat us!!! By allowing him to continue to behave this way, you are saying, without words, that it is ok for him to do so. Please, know that you are worthy of good things in your life, and that includes relationships. It is time to teach him that you deserve more and that his time is up!
I re read your post. you said he disrespected you to the max.... please do find some one who treats you right. life is too short to allow yourself to be treated badly by others. he will always treat you badly. it wont change. that is he true personality. I just want to say that my daughter was addicted. she quit, joined the military, and met a wonderful man. they were in the same training program and have so much in common. sometimes it is hard to think ahead, but try to picture what your dream life would look like. work towards that, new people will come along.
Thanks everyone!!
