Look in the mirror and say. I forgive you. It is what you do from here out that is really important. If you can't find a way to forgive yourself for what happened in the past. The past will end up repeating itself.
I just read your entry that Hurt dad is referring to, and wanted to say--the only way to make all those things better is to make U better, the present better and the future better--thats the only way to make the pain better, and to really make amends--its the only way, by just dong better--al those thngs we do in addiction--they hurt us, they hurt our families, and yeah it sucks--we are horrible people--some say we have a choice, im not sure on that, but i sure didnt feel like i had a choice when i was facing sickness...so anyway--just keep doing what u are doing and that is the best way to make amends for all the stuff u are feeling guilty aout, and trust me there is no-one without sin----i really think u are awesome concon, i truly consider u to be a friens which i know is odd, but i feel that way about so many of the people on this board-wish I could get that comfortable with people in my area--weird how the world works HUH :)
Thanks HurtDad and Amity...Im trying....really...its hard to face sometimes but I know you all know that....working it as best as I can...and ya...its not a race...and i need to go slow and figure stuff out at my own pace....and also as far as Im concerned you ARE my dearest and best of friends....know what you mean...sounds bizarre cuz were all on a board...but...dont matter somehow...you peeps are really the only ones I pretty much feel comfortable with right now :)
I have been reading Con...
And that like a repeat of sh*t that wont stopoh does that sound familiar, to familiarBut that is a whole another story
So you read the family board and it affected you
I remember Bryn use to come on and talk of how bad things were at times, and then apologize because those there had it so much worse, were in so much heartache and pain....and who was she to dare complainOMG that drove me nuts, and if I could have reached through the computer screenlol
Yeah there were sh*tty things I am sure you did, not unlike the next person, and honestly not unlike all people, as this isnt just inclusive to addicts. But what you did is yours, and damn you cant use the family board as a guide
What many parents there go through they allow, to allow againthe same with many of the partners, it isnt the most healthiest of places to be gauging things from.
While you need to be brutally honest, this honest look at you is a gift that you are giving to yourselfand it has nothing to do with someone elses storyDont use the pain you see in another be fuel to let the demons run
In it all, every step you took, choice you made will show where you lost yourself, and why and that is your key to a new bright chapter startingwe all need to close chapters from time to time for that chance at more, as there is so much this life has to offer
In time I promise it will all make sense, and you will know just who you were for the so called good and so called bad and will learn from it the most important of lessons is that in the end it means nothing really as no one ever wants to go back and be what they use to.who one use to be is part of whatever todays problem isbut to be free, whole and without closets overflowing with the pain, what one did to another, to themselves
Be patient and forgiving of you.
You deserve all your time, dont forget that ever
Believe,
Love,
Tina
And that like a repeat of sh*t that wont stopoh does that sound familiar, to familiarBut that is a whole another story
So you read the family board and it affected you
I remember Bryn use to come on and talk of how bad things were at times, and then apologize because those there had it so much worse, were in so much heartache and pain....and who was she to dare complainOMG that drove me nuts, and if I could have reached through the computer screenlol
Yeah there were sh*tty things I am sure you did, not unlike the next person, and honestly not unlike all people, as this isnt just inclusive to addicts. But what you did is yours, and damn you cant use the family board as a guide
What many parents there go through they allow, to allow againthe same with many of the partners, it isnt the most healthiest of places to be gauging things from.
While you need to be brutally honest, this honest look at you is a gift that you are giving to yourselfand it has nothing to do with someone elses storyDont use the pain you see in another be fuel to let the demons run
In it all, every step you took, choice you made will show where you lost yourself, and why and that is your key to a new bright chapter startingwe all need to close chapters from time to time for that chance at more, as there is so much this life has to offer
In time I promise it will all make sense, and you will know just who you were for the so called good and so called bad and will learn from it the most important of lessons is that in the end it means nothing really as no one ever wants to go back and be what they use to.who one use to be is part of whatever todays problem isbut to be free, whole and without closets overflowing with the pain, what one did to another, to themselves
Be patient and forgiving of you.
You deserve all your time, dont forget that ever
Believe,
Love,
Tina
