Long story short. Not really. . Just need to vent. Sitting here heartbroken. With bf for6 Years. Living together for 4. Married 20 + before that. Was deff naive coming off divorce. Meet bf and we just clicked and fell for each other. Did the bar scene. Dabbled together some. All in fun so I thought. He was very truthful about being in jail for drugs. Failed to mention addiction but should of known. Found out he deff had a past with addiction.
Things got weird about Year after he moved in. Secretive. All the signs. Told him to move out. Told me was doing heroin. What?! OMG. Almost broke a hip fallin off that chair. Promised the world. Got on methadone, going to classes.
Seemed almost normal. Before Xmas started again. I just knew. He addmitted it. Said he would go to rehab right after the holidays. He did. I was so happy. So afraid for him. Sooooo I knew something wasnt right. Called him on it. Seemed to be hiding things. Well he went to rehab for I dont know how long and left. Not sure how long he lasted. Not really sure where he was. Says a friends. Ran his credit cards up.
This was his chance to get help. Im heartbroken. I love him. Told him I wont live like this. Last night I told him he has to move out. Im sure we all wish we had a magic wand. Such a wonderful man. Such a horrible disease. So sad. All I can do is cry.
So sorry heartbroken2....Its very painful to find out someone we love has an addiction. It really gets in the way of a healthy intimate relationship. As hard as it is, I think you are doing the right thing. Maybe he will reevaluate his life and want to work on his sobriety. If he doesnt, then he's still in active addiction which is not only a ball and chain for him it will be for you too.
Thank you for having a kind ear. I have been reading a lot of these posts. Two things we all have in common is so much love and hope. I hope he can beat this. Feeling way alone on this journey. I havent shared any of this with my very close kids or family. Im sure they kinda know something is very wrong. Its very hard to hide this kind of thing. Its really hard to do this alone and to try and be strong.
Addiction is heartbreaking and destroys trust and relationships. I still am shocked at some of the stories I hear, when the drugs take over.
I am so sorry to hear about your heartbreak. You are doing what you need to do and it will slowly get better. Big hugs.
I am so sorry to hear about your heartbreak. You are doing what you need to do and it will slowly get better. Big hugs.
