Hi all,
Well, I had a very nice almost 40 days with my son. I am hoping it continues, but he is at a crossroads.
Up to this point, I have not had to worry about opioids. Other drugs, yes! So, not that things were rosy here, but...
The last 2 days, he went OFF. Totally different kid. I surprised him last night and found him sniffing Vicodin. He admitted that he had a bad day the day before (something with friends) and couldn't handle the depression.
So, he is planning on getting back on the horse today. We all know how hard that is.
But, here is what really bothers me. When we were talking, I mentioned that I did not realize he was doing opioids. He said he never had before treatment. Said one of the kids in there was selling inside treatment. This was a $60K (before insurance) best one in our area. He said he tried it 3x in treatment before this kid was finally kicked out for something else. He told me that dealers work inside and around treatment places. Is this true??? Color me naive. I had no idea they would bother working inside a treatment center. Sometimes my son is way off, so not sure if this is true or if this kid just happened to be there with stuff.
For my work, I just revived a man with Narcan. He said that he moved to a different town to get away. He recently got a job and had been clean 3 months. Said he was working really hard. He said some dealer would follow him from his work, and keep on him and on him. He finally broke down when he got his paycheck.
Guess I thought I was pretty jaded at this point, but even more so now. We truly are in a very sick, major epidemic. Thanks for listening, everyone.
Parenting,
I just posted on hurtingmom the problems with 'sober houses' and your son is correct. The pushers follow them to meetings, work inside the houses. The police don't monitor them at all because it's not a school or church or anything that is potentially dangerous to kids. The addicts inside steal from one another. The 'sober houses' are a money making business and it's making money hand over fist. The homes are not the best areas because people don't want an 'addict ' in their neighborhood. UNTIL it becomes their child. They bury their heads in the sands because their child is in a 'sober house'. Ok my child is in treatment ahh no your child is getting drugs easier. They kids know when the random drug test happen and arrange for clean pee. It's unbelievable what is happening in these homes. My son has switch three times because first time in his life he wants to be clean. He is working the steps, he found a place that there are only 6 men, not young kids as he calls them : Men that are diligently trying to get clean. I asked him to write a book on 'sobriety' and how hard it's been with no place to actual recover with. Insurance, no insurance it's all the same.
xx
I just posted on hurtingmom the problems with 'sober houses' and your son is correct. The pushers follow them to meetings, work inside the houses. The police don't monitor them at all because it's not a school or church or anything that is potentially dangerous to kids. The addicts inside steal from one another. The 'sober houses' are a money making business and it's making money hand over fist. The homes are not the best areas because people don't want an 'addict ' in their neighborhood. UNTIL it becomes their child. They bury their heads in the sands because their child is in a 'sober house'. Ok my child is in treatment ahh no your child is getting drugs easier. They kids know when the random drug test happen and arrange for clean pee. It's unbelievable what is happening in these homes. My son has switch three times because first time in his life he wants to be clean. He is working the steps, he found a place that there are only 6 men, not young kids as he calls them : Men that are diligently trying to get clean. I asked him to write a book on 'sobriety' and how hard it's been with no place to actual recover with. Insurance, no insurance it's all the same.
xx
Yes, that is how I am feeling. My son has readily admitted that if someone puts something in front of him, he cannot say no. Apparently, word spreads on this type of kid. He told me that the guy in treatment approached him with the phrase, "I can see you are cool and I can trust you". My son falls for this type of BS on a dime. Wow-they think I am cool. I am somehow different than the others and they can see this....
He said someone approached him after a meeting (while I was standing close by), who had just got out of jail. Told my son he had a free sample for him. What??? I thought the guy was shady, but...
I feel hopeless at this point. The only thing I can do is offer healthy support and get on with my life. Such as slimy business this addiction. And, one of my long ago friends just lost her daughter to a drug overdose yesterday.
He said someone approached him after a meeting (while I was standing close by), who had just got out of jail. Told my son he had a free sample for him. What??? I thought the guy was shady, but...
I feel hopeless at this point. The only thing I can do is offer healthy support and get on with my life. Such as slimy business this addiction. And, one of my long ago friends just lost her daughter to a drug overdose yesterday.
Hi Parenting. I'm definitely not an expert. My son spent 90 days in rehab and is currently living in a sober living house (has been there one month). He seems to be surrounded by people who are serious about their sobriety. You're right that addiction is a nasty business and I can certainly believe drug dealers will take advantage whenever they can.
I can only speak from my experience, but my son's rehab had a lot of rules I didn't understand. They had groups of recovering addicts that would travel in different vans, each van going to a different 12 step meeting every night. One night when I was in town, I asked my son what meeting he was going to that night and he told me they don't get to know which meeting they're attending until they get there. I asked him why they won't tell them because I thought that was very odd and he told me that recovering addicts will call their dealers or using friends to meet them at the 12 step meetings with drugs. Whoa...that makes sense, but I had no idea. I think many rehab places do their best, but addicts are sneaky and have become master manipulators.
My son also told me about another occasion where one of his friends slipped and used drugs because another guy smuggled in drugs and offered it to him. My son told me his friend cried during their group session because he felt so bad he'd lost his 30+ days of sobriety and felt like such a failure. The rehab place kicked out the guy who brought in the drugs, but gave the guy who used another chance. Like you said about your son, it's just really hard to say no when it's right in front of an addict's face. I do think there are varying qualities of rehab facilities, but I also think it must be close to impossible for them to completely keep drugs out after hearing those two stories. I can't imagine how anyone got the drugs in, to be honest. I was there when I'd bring my son back to rehab after a visit. They always did a urine test, they always went through all his things. I guess addicts are just very good at sneaking and manipulating and when that's what you're dealing with, there will be some flaws in the system no matter how hard they try.
I can only speak from my experience, but my son's rehab had a lot of rules I didn't understand. They had groups of recovering addicts that would travel in different vans, each van going to a different 12 step meeting every night. One night when I was in town, I asked my son what meeting he was going to that night and he told me they don't get to know which meeting they're attending until they get there. I asked him why they won't tell them because I thought that was very odd and he told me that recovering addicts will call their dealers or using friends to meet them at the 12 step meetings with drugs. Whoa...that makes sense, but I had no idea. I think many rehab places do their best, but addicts are sneaky and have become master manipulators.
My son also told me about another occasion where one of his friends slipped and used drugs because another guy smuggled in drugs and offered it to him. My son told me his friend cried during their group session because he felt so bad he'd lost his 30+ days of sobriety and felt like such a failure. The rehab place kicked out the guy who brought in the drugs, but gave the guy who used another chance. Like you said about your son, it's just really hard to say no when it's right in front of an addict's face. I do think there are varying qualities of rehab facilities, but I also think it must be close to impossible for them to completely keep drugs out after hearing those two stories. I can't imagine how anyone got the drugs in, to be honest. I was there when I'd bring my son back to rehab after a visit. They always did a urine test, they always went through all his things. I guess addicts are just very good at sneaking and manipulating and when that's what you're dealing with, there will be some flaws in the system no matter how hard they try.
Well, overall, I think the boys were serious. You could tell this kid had an issue. Plus, his "dad" would visit and it was very odd. They actually caught his dad bringing in chewing tobacco. My son said that this boy admitted to them that it was actually his dealer not his dad-he thought this was hilarious.
I think part of the problem is they had a new staff person that was way too nice. The other staff people went through all our things (and who would not be okay with this!). The new girl was very apologetic and barely looked through our things. I told her I did not mind one bit, and wanted to keep it a safe place.
They did eventually kick the boy out, but not before taking down at least 3 other boys. One took it, and then almost had a breakdown calling his parents to get him out of there. Of course, none of them told at the time.
Anyway...like they say, it is everywhere and unfortunately especially these days, they have to learn how to tell and how to bring this to light so it does not destroy them.
I have to admit that I'd like to ring this kids neck for introducing my kid to opioids in treatment. But, it's done.
I think part of the problem is they had a new staff person that was way too nice. The other staff people went through all our things (and who would not be okay with this!). The new girl was very apologetic and barely looked through our things. I told her I did not mind one bit, and wanted to keep it a safe place.
They did eventually kick the boy out, but not before taking down at least 3 other boys. One took it, and then almost had a breakdown calling his parents to get him out of there. Of course, none of them told at the time.
Anyway...like they say, it is everywhere and unfortunately especially these days, they have to learn how to tell and how to bring this to light so it does not destroy them.
I have to admit that I'd like to ring this kids neck for introducing my kid to opioids in treatment. But, it's done.
Plus, I really think they pick out the kids that appear very fragile. My son comes across this way-very worried about what people think, impressionable.
I believe they would never ask a stronger person. Kind of like child predators, they spend time trying to select a certain type of personality.
We just had a good talk about this impression he gives people. Hopefully, in time, he will have more strength to report these things and say no. An older boy eventually talked my son into telling and went with him to tell a trusted counselor.
I believe they would never ask a stronger person. Kind of like child predators, they spend time trying to select a certain type of personality.
We just had a good talk about this impression he gives people. Hopefully, in time, he will have more strength to report these things and say no. An older boy eventually talked my son into telling and went with him to tell a trusted counselor.
Parenting,
All I can say is I don't blame you for being angry at that kid for introducing your son to opioids in treatment. I'd have been irate! I feel disgusted reading and thinking about dealers preying on addicts seeking treatment. Hugs...
All I can say is I don't blame you for being angry at that kid for introducing your son to opioids in treatment. I'd have been irate! I feel disgusted reading and thinking about dealers preying on addicts seeking treatment. Hugs...
Really interestng reading as I recently started working in a rehab facility as finance/admin person. My manager told me when I started that they do everything they can but in the end if an addict wants to use/drink they will find a way.
Our rehab has a gazillion rules it is VERY strict. They have a whole folder with pages and pages and pages of rules. You can get in trouble for everything from yelling at someone else to not turning off a light when you leave your room. Also they never go anywhere alone (except to bed of course). They are really big on accountability for every single behaviour. A lot of people can't hack it, but the ones who do get a good foundation of sobriety.
We are not-for-profit so no big dollars rolling around, nearly all our clients are on government benefits of some kind. We rely a lot on donations as well as a few government grants.
I never heard of any problems with dealers coming in, we do have problems with ex-clients from time to time and that does seem to happen at meetings which is really a shame. Phone and internet use is very restricted too and always supervised as well.
I think its a very difficult situation because you have a group of very sick people together.
I think the for-profit rehab industry is a bit scary, I mean what is the real motivation? Making money of course. Ours is a very bare bones place, clean but old and kind of run down cause there is no money for anything better. its no holiday camp. Our residents cook, clean, do laundry, do the garden, wash the cars and feed the dog - everything in fact you would have to do in a normal home.
I pray that all of you here can find some peace and some help for your situations.
Idgie
Our rehab has a gazillion rules it is VERY strict. They have a whole folder with pages and pages and pages of rules. You can get in trouble for everything from yelling at someone else to not turning off a light when you leave your room. Also they never go anywhere alone (except to bed of course). They are really big on accountability for every single behaviour. A lot of people can't hack it, but the ones who do get a good foundation of sobriety.
We are not-for-profit so no big dollars rolling around, nearly all our clients are on government benefits of some kind. We rely a lot on donations as well as a few government grants.
I never heard of any problems with dealers coming in, we do have problems with ex-clients from time to time and that does seem to happen at meetings which is really a shame. Phone and internet use is very restricted too and always supervised as well.
I think its a very difficult situation because you have a group of very sick people together.
I think the for-profit rehab industry is a bit scary, I mean what is the real motivation? Making money of course. Ours is a very bare bones place, clean but old and kind of run down cause there is no money for anything better. its no holiday camp. Our residents cook, clean, do laundry, do the garden, wash the cars and feed the dog - everything in fact you would have to do in a normal home.
I pray that all of you here can find some peace and some help for your situations.
Idgie
When my daughter at 17 yrs old got out of rehab, the next plan was to get her to take her ged. There she passed no problem. Next was joining the Army National Guard and she went to Boot Camp and graduated. Her dad and I met her at the airport and she was as high as a kite. Didnt have a penny to her name said she had her wallet stolen...lies! All the money she had all went on dope! We were shocked because we expected her to be in good hands being under strict supervision but how wrong were we? Seemingly she was introduced to cocaine while in boot camp. She said its everywhere and yes theres dealers who wait outside meetings too. Its like the only way to keep them safe is to keep them home and never let them out because its not safe anywhere for them. Its like a plague.
@Parenting@... Is there nothing you can do to get your money back from that rehab facility? I think thats terrible after paying so much. I hope theres something you can do because they shouldnt be allowed to get away with that happening to your son while in their trusted care. They were meant to help get your son off drugs not introduce him to a different kind of drug. What was the drug your son was in the rehab for abusing? Take care all. Mary.
@Parenting@... Is there nothing you can do to get your money back from that rehab facility? I think thats terrible after paying so much. I hope theres something you can do because they shouldnt be allowed to get away with that happening to your son while in their trusted care. They were meant to help get your son off drugs not introduce him to a different kind of drug. What was the drug your son was in the rehab for abusing? Take care all. Mary.
