Dating A Former Heroin Addict

Hi there,
I've been dating a man who used to be addicted to heroin. He said he was using alot and eventually went into rehab for it. This was two years ago and he says that he hasnt touched the stuff since. I am very proud of him for all of his hard work in moving past the drug and I feel that I have always been supportive. I found something out last night and I really need some advice. I saw a small spot on his arm a few months ago and I just thought it was a sore or a zit. Then I saw it last night in the same spot so I asked him about it. I just figured that he was picking at a zit and wouldn't let it heal or something. He tells me that he takes a hypodermic needle and sticks it in his skin because he misses the feeling. He told me that he does it probably once a week or maybe more. Please tell me your thoughts on this or if anyone in recovery has done this same thing. I am trying really hard to understand this and be supportive, but I just cannot get the image of him sneaking to the bathroom to do this out of my mind. I am completely in love with him and it breaks my heart to hear about something like this. I read about people in recovery and their relationship with the needle-a sort of love. He told me that he does it because it feels good and that he thinks it developed because of the positive correlation between the needle and the drug. However, I am still concerned...
Marion, you have every right to be concerned. Anybody would, right?

It seems like you did some "homework" and know about the love of the needle. Easiest and shortest way to explain it I guess is ritual.

The real concern should be you and how you feel about it. Sneaking popped out at me and that's "addict behavior". He sounds like he's honest enough and we're not ever "used to be heroin addicts". We can be in recovery, but it's always there. More concern there.

Think of you and the madness of how you'll deal or not deal with it and how it may consume your relationship. It's your choice. He's made his.

Hey, if he has two years clean he can do anything I say so maybe can he talk to someone or get some help? He knows the workings of all that. Wishing you only good things. It is not easy to love a heroin addict weather it's in recovery or not.

Oh and I got a little frightened. I thought you were going to say he had an abcess or something.
I hate to inject a sour note but I believe, from my experiences as a Junkie since 1967, that your BF is shooting you a line of bull.

I''m not saying that it's totaly unlikely that someone with a long time needle fetish might poke themselves with nothin, but the chances are a lot more likely that he's chipping.

I hope, for your sake, that I'm wrong. I'd like to be wrong, but the chances are against it.

It's a bad indication to me that he's still indulging in addict behavior like jabbing himself.

It would behoove you to ascertain whether he's useing or not, it could make the difference between a lifetime full of chaos and misery or not.

Anybody else got an opinion?
I have to tell you Marion. It is likely he is using and just being careful to not leave a whole "track" of injection sites. He is using the same place to inject the drugs. I have been clean for 19 yrs but I did the same thing, I used the same place in my hand just to try and throw caring, naive people off what I was doing. Addicts can be very sneaky.
To be sure,Check his pupils. If they are "pinned" (pinpoint in size) he is using opiates of some kind.
Being caring and supportive is good to a point but make sure you are taking care of you as well. Get counseling about opiate addiction somewhere or you will get pulled into something you may very well be sorry for in the long run and get your heart broken in the process.

I do suggest you go to the families/partners of addicts on this site and you will get all the love,support and knowledge you need , and good luck!
granny
My daughter shot water in early recovery...she was addicted to the process, the anticipation...and it was a sort of testing the waters which ended up failing miserably. She relapsed several times, but once her recovery was first and real she stopped the addictive behavior...the old slippery slope.
Nice posts. Keep posting such needed information. Thank's!