Hi all i thought i would update you on my daughter who got out of jail last week. she has been hanging out with some people that do not use,she seems to be making a life for herself away from the drug scene..and has made a momentous decision to finish with her partner of 3 years,who is in prison till march next year.she has said she is fed up of jail,waking up in a s*** state,grafting,for money to pay for heroin etc. her partner is still using in jail,and is asking her to take heroin in for him on a visit..she has said no way would she take any drugs in for him anyway..
i asked her if she was sure she was making the right decision as she is recovering,and i have not put any pressure on her to end her relationship with her partner.. i advised that she take her time,and not rush into anything as yet.. she has said he will never stop using and she cannot be with him,because it would send her over the edge,as she doesn't want to use anymore..
her decision has come as a bit of shock to me today,because i know that she loves him,or is that loved him???.. maybe their relationship has run its course now she is clean and can think clearly,she has written him a letter saying that she cannot be with him anymore because she knows that he will not stop taking drugs..she wrote it on some scrap of paper.. not even proper writing paper..
No matter what happens i will support her decision,i have said for years that they may have to part while each deals with their addictions separately,never thought she would give him up totally though,its come as a bit of a shock really.. i think she has made the right decision for her though..anyone have an opinion on this let me know... thanks for listening
OMG Tattoed Lady...dont know really what to say...be cautious I guess...your perfectly right when you told her to go slow...I hope for you and your daughters sake that she really has made the descion and sticks to it....that would be truly wonderful...however...you know the deal...go slow...:)...wishing you and her the best
Con
Con
Con is so right...while we always hope they've turned the corner it is so easy to be let down when things don't go the way we hope. Her recovery is in its infancy and she has so very much to think about, deal with, and feel...support her as best you can and keep a trained eye on things. You'll know, you always know.
Peace~MomNMore
Peace~MomNMore
I had lived with a guy lil over a year in a relationship "knew him for 4 years". When I decided to go to the methadone clinic, I told him if he did not go with me I was leaving him. I don't see how any addict can get clean living with someone in active addiction. I did have a connection with this guy he came up with 100,000 reason why he could not go to the m-done clinic. I left we were both homeless lost our house together he went his way I went mine. He went on to prison while I went to nursing classes had a baby new fiance great job. He got out of prison in Augest 08 hung himself in September 08. I still know it was THE single best thing I ever did was to walk out on him. Love had nothing to do with it. I was ready to quit he was not. I knew when i left him I was 100% sure of what I was doing. I had not spoke a word to him after I left. Sometimes you just know. I've seen where couples break up get back, break up get back, that was never for me. I could NEVER have got sober with him we tried one or the other of us would always get the other back on. After everything I don't think I could have got clean with him ever if he went to treatment he was a trigger 4 me to use. We used so much together I don't think we could have built a life sober together.
Thanks to all for your posts.. especially you zero girl congratulations on your decision to leave your partner pleased to hear your life is good... my daughter made this decision a few days ago,and has written to him in prison,ending the relationship it wasn't a nasty letter though..she says she still cares about him-but knows he is never going to stop using,and despite the major flaw in their relationship-heroin,she wants a family,kids of her own,and her partner has said many times he doesn't want children..another flaw in the relationship.. its not going anywhere,not progressing,how my daughter would like. she said to me: "he's never going to stop using is he?" and i gave my honest opinion,that i dont think he is.. this guy has already said that if they were both clean of drugs then they would probably not be with one another,so i think she has done the right thing,as they obviously they have nothing in common with one another..its very sad though.. but i think shes made the best choice.. it must have been difficult for her to make that decision as i couldn't tell her what to do,although she asked me,i felt it was not my place to tell her how to conduct her affairs..this was one thing she had to do on her own.. i am a bit concerned that he is going to be calling from jail and giving her abuse,which she does not really need at the moment..should that happen i am going to complain to the prison,as my daughter doesnt need the aggro and i certainly dont.. i am all for her-not him,shes my daughter after all and she must come first..
