I did something last night that I have not done in since going sober, played a video game until around 3:30 in the morning, and had fun doing it. Went to bed, woke up about 8, man it was pouring. Fortunately having people who work for me I told them I was not coming in, so I decided to work from home today...actually may have picked up a new client in the process.
When I walked into my psychiatrist's office this past Monday, she said something that blew me away. She told me I looked handsome today. I smiled, and told her about flushing the pills a week prior. We had a great rap session, and for the first time actually hugged me goodbye and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Isnt that against the rules? I'm really nervous, because I've made so much progress(I went to her for anxiety issues, although she did know my addition to opiates as well.) My business, social skills skyrocketed within a few months. (Even though I was on opiates, go figure.) I am 100% devoted to my fiancee, if you look at the picture of my web page, and her smile you'll see why. I have been seeing this psychatrist for over a year and it was always all business. On my next visit I am going to confront her about it, and tell her straight out that was not professional.
Anyway, back to day 11. I'm still seeking the web for meetings, prerferbly not in my area (midtown nyc would be ideal) My only concern is that if they do not respect my plan, while respecting each and every person ther regardless of how crashed down or not they are, will they tell me to leave, because I'm not surrendeing? I also do not trust my own judgement that I may influence someone who has surrendered, and is recovering well, that he/she may agree with me, and I may do damage there, I certainly would feel aweful if that happened.
Other than that had a great day, it's going on 5..and I'm going to order dinner for myself and Tina. Thank you all again for listening, and responding to my story. - Chris
Chris,
Give NA a try. No one will give you the boot for not surrendering. I went there with damn near the same attitude, and 4 months later I have changed my mind.
But I can tell you if you never change your attitude about surrender they will not kick you out. You might have to debate the issue many times, ;>) but you will not get kicked out.
On another note I want to thank you for sharing your experiences here. I have watched everyday for your updates. Thank you for the insperation!!!
peaceout
dtroitj
Give NA a try. No one will give you the boot for not surrendering. I went there with damn near the same attitude, and 4 months later I have changed my mind.
But I can tell you if you never change your attitude about surrender they will not kick you out. You might have to debate the issue many times, ;>) but you will not get kicked out.
On another note I want to thank you for sharing your experiences here. I have watched everyday for your updates. Thank you for the insperation!!!
peaceout
dtroitj
