Day 11

Nicotine
1
Ok, So I am hogging up the Nic board but I am fairly sure no one really posts here anyway. I am on Day 11. I am going to the early Sunday meeting 8 am here. I have to leave in about 10 minutes. I am also meeting my sponsor after. I have never had a sponsor before. I am not sure what i am doing. Or at the point if I am even gonna stick by it. But one day at a time right? Just for today I am hitting hte meetings because so far it works. I haven't had a cig. doesn't mean I haven't wanted one. But I haven't had one. I know I gotta slow down I think last week I quit for the whole year. I took every bit of advice and was using it. Wich may be good. But I can't speed the quit along. It will wall take time. SO I just got to wait it out.
Anyway off to the meeting in a few. Hope it turns out wel. It snowed a ton here last night (yesterday it was 70) This is so strange.
2
Stayed so busy today. Good day. I only thought of cigarettes a few times. It is getting a tiny insy bit better. :) Good meeting today. We read the doctor story. The first one in the big book. And everyone shared. I was supposed to meet with my sponsor afterward. She had to go back to work so we just chatted for a few, and got a plan to go out walking/hiking and work the steps as we go. Sounds good huh?
3
Day 11. I got a good piece of advice from myself. I can't speed up time its just gonna take time. I wanted a ciggaretter really bad last night. So I ate two brownies instead & I still wanted one. I didn't tho. I chewed half a 2mg of nic gum this morning. I hit a womens meeting last night it was really good. It was the double life reading. I have been living a double life with my smoking. I run and I have a group of friends that I run with. So it may seem like I am trying to live this healthy life and then.. sneaking a smoke. In reality I like the healthy happy life I have. It is not sustainable if I keep puffing. So maybe just for today I wont. Asking God for a little grace. I also asking to keep me surrendered both on the smoking and the sponsor thing. I am coming to believe again- this journal has helped me. If it works once it can work again. I dont have to get good or perfect to get help. Just stay humble and put my foot forward.
My delight for the last 24 hours. Is my daughters laughter it tickles my soul.