Didn't wake up early enough to go to the first meeting this morning. PLUS its 28 degrees out there BRrrrrrrrrr.
I just got a fortune cookie that said "Accept something you cannot change and you will feel better" True dat.
I went to the afternoon meeting again. It was of course good. I am not sure when I can go to a meeting and not hear some good s***. It may happen but it doesn't often. I don't like this meeting. The old timer is there that sits in the corner. I think if I am an old time that sits in the meeting, that he probably gets a bit cynical. I am his choice target. (at least in my mind) He is a funny old guy. Anyways moral I got tonight was. It talked about acceptance. I took it to mean probably self acceptance, and not feeling less than or better than anyone else. I don't really feel accepted in AA yet. Maybe I have to accept that that is where I am with it right now. I accept that right now I have nearly no "recovery time" with my DOC nicotine. I am one of the newest newbies on the block. I'm under 30 and I am the new kid on the block. I guess I got to do some listening and put some time in, in the rooms. I shared and it was pathetic. I can't belive how clamed up I get there. Guess maybe there is a reason. Anyway end of day 12 and feeling pretty darn good. I'm glad God brought me to the rooms to get through this. :)
I went to the afternoon meeting again. It was of course good. I am not sure when I can go to a meeting and not hear some good s***. It may happen but it doesn't often. I don't like this meeting. The old timer is there that sits in the corner. I think if I am an old time that sits in the meeting, that he probably gets a bit cynical. I am his choice target. (at least in my mind) He is a funny old guy. Anyways moral I got tonight was. It talked about acceptance. I took it to mean probably self acceptance, and not feeling less than or better than anyone else. I don't really feel accepted in AA yet. Maybe I have to accept that that is where I am with it right now. I accept that right now I have nearly no "recovery time" with my DOC nicotine. I am one of the newest newbies on the block. I'm under 30 and I am the new kid on the block. I guess I got to do some listening and put some time in, in the rooms. I shared and it was pathetic. I can't belive how clamed up I get there. Guess maybe there is a reason. Anyway end of day 12 and feeling pretty darn good. I'm glad God brought me to the rooms to get through this. :)
Terrible night zero sleep. Im going to run and hit a meeting. Im so down right now this sleeplessness is debilitating . I hate myself right now. Please let this part pass. I wanted a smoke last night. The funny part is I wasnt smoking at night I wonder why it keeps hitting me them. I am chewing a half piece of mic gum .. please god have mercy on me. I am in fear and full of pity
