Day 20

Nicotine
1
Made it to the commuter meeting last night. I took my son. He was such a cutie and it felt good having him there. Planting a seed, NOT in charge of weather it grows. I will just will add the sunlight and care.
Smoke free & alcohol free. I am praying and progressing. I still am not sure exactly where I am going. But it aint backwards.
Love,
Jane
2
Congrats, Jane.

You really are doing spectacular and it's such a joy to watch.

QUOTE
I am praying and progressing. I still am not sure exactly where I am going. But it aint backwards.


I have a feeling, if you keep doing the deal, you're going to know a new happiness & a new freedom (part of the Promises in AA) and you'll have that spiritual awakening they talk about in Step 12. Living life on a spiritual plane, free from the bondage of self has been nothing short of a miracle & I'm so happy you're putting yourself out there to taste it, to try it and embrace it......I don't do it all the time, and sometimes I'm not graceful but the glimpses & days I do, it's worth it's weight in gold and the people who God puts into my life's journey, I have no words, the best I can explain it as is love, like I've never known love but always searched for.........

Congrats, Jane, you ARE a miracle and smoke-free along with the rest of the bondage....

Give yourself a hug (literally) from me...
xoxo
Stacey
3
*smile* Thanks Stacey. I am glad I am doing this for me. I never thought I'd see the day where I would start going to meetings. I don't know if that is even where I am with this. I know that I am willing to give it a whirl. At times I think it feels too damn religious-ish for me. But I do love thinks that cannot be explained. And for the life of me I can't explain it, but if I feel s***ty and even if I don't... I almost always leave those meetings feeling better. I know there is a HP , but beyond that the only way you could TRY and expalin it is Synergy. Everyone going for the same thing. and its a good thing.
4
QUOTE
I almost always leave those meetings feeling better.


There is a Power in the rooms, I can actually feel it when I go in and sit down. I always pray before a meeting and then when I'm sitting there, right before the Serenity Prayer, I look around that room & can feel the spirituality filling up the room, I can actually see the love & acceptance I was seeking for so long.

I only went back to meetings because it's what kept Ms. Katbird clean & sober and I wanted what she had, long term sobriety and a lot less insanity. Today I keep going back because it might be the only peace I receive in the day but for that meeting, I am in touch with my HP, at peace and can feel the positive & love flow through me and when I keep doing this, I'm learning how to bring it home & to work with me.

I question it at times, I get busy and think I should scale way back on meetings so I pray on it and usually, God has other plans and puts someone in my path so I keep coming back.

I've learned to try & have somewhat of a balance and today, for me, it's working.
xoxo
Stacey
5
Made it to the meeting this afternoon. :) My son actually asked if we were going. So we went and I took my daughter too. I even shared. It wasn't much. But I shared. No smoking today, again. WOOT
6
Day 20. Woke up smoke free. I had some wierd a** dreams last night. Practicing all my defects... like really old ones I thought I was rid of. Stealing, men, promiscuity, drugs &smoking. It was crazy. And luckily it was just a dream. Im chairing a meeting this afternoon. Its rainy and glum. I slept in and slept well. Ive been sleeping pretty dang good! Which is amazing for me. If I can see God working that may be it, because insomnia is strong in me and at least so far has not been a part of this quit. I cant even say how thankful I am. So its Sunday I think Ill just take it easy today.
Much lobe & respect,
Jane