Its the 6th day since I got an rx for methadone 40 mgs a day. Up till this am I had been taking them 4 times a day. Today however I took 30 mgs this am and for the first time ever I didnt need anything else till around 6 Pm. To me this is marvalous. Usually I would be at around 80 mgs of morphine by noon. When I got home I was feeling wired and anxcious and took a 60 mg ms cotin with a 10 mg valium and Im finally relaxed also took the last meth for the day 10 mgs. Im amazed that I could go all day with our popping pills in my mouth and feel fairly good till around 6 pm. I still have my appointment with the shrink for bup treatment, Im wondering if I should stabilize on the meth for a month or so to get out of the habit of popping pills throught the day? Any way I will speak to my shrink about this and see what she had to recomend .Thanks fo rthe support will keep checking in Best wishesRay
I don't think a month will be too bad, but i'd work my way down. but honestly, if ur intention is to detox, there really is no reason for a month. probably i'm guessing a little less then two weeks. but then again, be careful no matter what u do, wds from low doses from meth after only 1 month should be less then nothing, but man, please be careful & really, really think about what ur plan is. My idea was to get on it for a few months ( to get my head together & figure it out) & i ended up doin 6 years, & it was an MF to get off, even after detoxin down to 15. Some people though, & i'm not sayin ur one, end up legitimately on meth for life & work programs, but thats a last , last, last , resort, cause after a while, u function good & everythings legal & all (& at a dosage of about 40 plus its a blocker & its sure as h better then livin the lifestyle we had been livin), but ur noddin a lot thru life, ur never 100%, & u (anyway i did) feel like u always have 1 foot in the door & u seem to meet every f....in hard core addict that ever existed, & many if not most of the patients, r still using. Like i say, be careful & parayerful of whatever u do, i wish u the best man. God Bless.
By the way (im probably tellin u something u know) unless ur shrink is really up on meth, u probably know more about it than he/she does.
By the way (im probably tellin u something u know) unless ur shrink is really up on meth, u probably know more about it than he/she does.
Ramon,
Have been reading your post all along, I think you have come a long long way, and then some... Thats Great!!! Congrats!!!!
I remember your fear of the w/d's in your earlier posts and your concern with not being able to work or function on a daily basis.a fear that Im sure most of us has had or have..I think , for me, the fear of the w/d's definetly keep my stuck and the fear of going through that and then relapsing, all the voices in my head kept me where I had been though desperately needing and wanting to quit.
I started Methadone tabs Sat..Recomended dose was 40 mil. I get by w/ 30 mil. and next week plan to cut back to 20, hopefully...
I can so so relate to the amazement you feel not eating the pills to the extent that you were, and not going crazy thinking about how many you've ingested that day and how many more you would need the next day..Such a Viscious Horrible Cycle..!!!.The relief I had just in two days, mentally from breaking that Cycle, was enough to give me even more strength to continue on the Path of Recovery, seeing the Insanity even more clearly..
I wonder if you also are having problems with sleep? I cannot seem to fall all the way asleep..Im sort of in-between worlds..Half dreaming.. half awake>>
Well I am staying up as late as possible now, trying to get so tired that I will sleep through the night.I have found out in the last 3 nights that this seems to be par for the course, along with the leg twitches, and I am wondering if you are experiencing the same thing?
Well Again,,,CONGRATS...
I wish you only the Best!!
Love and Hugs to All..
Di
In the last 4 days I have only had to take 11 pills as opposed to 40 give or take..I have gotten a couple urges, here and there, but refuse to give in. and am afraid to take too many of these..Thank God!!!
Definetly Progress The thought of putting a Vike in my mouth right now, makes me ill, but I know I am an addict and that at any time that could change..
Again Good Luck
Love
Di
Have been reading your post all along, I think you have come a long long way, and then some... Thats Great!!! Congrats!!!!
I remember your fear of the w/d's in your earlier posts and your concern with not being able to work or function on a daily basis.a fear that Im sure most of us has had or have..I think , for me, the fear of the w/d's definetly keep my stuck and the fear of going through that and then relapsing, all the voices in my head kept me where I had been though desperately needing and wanting to quit.
I started Methadone tabs Sat..Recomended dose was 40 mil. I get by w/ 30 mil. and next week plan to cut back to 20, hopefully...
I can so so relate to the amazement you feel not eating the pills to the extent that you were, and not going crazy thinking about how many you've ingested that day and how many more you would need the next day..Such a Viscious Horrible Cycle..!!!.The relief I had just in two days, mentally from breaking that Cycle, was enough to give me even more strength to continue on the Path of Recovery, seeing the Insanity even more clearly..
I wonder if you also are having problems with sleep? I cannot seem to fall all the way asleep..Im sort of in-between worlds..Half dreaming.. half awake>>
Well I am staying up as late as possible now, trying to get so tired that I will sleep through the night.I have found out in the last 3 nights that this seems to be par for the course, along with the leg twitches, and I am wondering if you are experiencing the same thing?
Well Again,,,CONGRATS...
I wish you only the Best!!
Love and Hugs to All..
Di
In the last 4 days I have only had to take 11 pills as opposed to 40 give or take..I have gotten a couple urges, here and there, but refuse to give in. and am afraid to take too many of these..Thank God!!!
Definetly Progress The thought of putting a Vike in my mouth right now, makes me ill, but I know I am an addict and that at any time that could change..
Again Good Luck
Love
Di
Ramon..I'm glad you're feeling better about yourself, because that's what's important. I am however, confused about one thing:
You say in your last post that you are on the methadone in order to not have to take the morphine anymore and then to slowly taper off of the methadone. But that you came home, felt a little wierd, so you popped an ms contin and a valuim and then you were fine and then took your methadone at 6.... do you see my confusion?
If you are detoxing off of the morphine with the meth, but still taking the morphine, aren't you defeating your purpose?
Just some food for thought..
Cowgirl
You say in your last post that you are on the methadone in order to not have to take the morphine anymore and then to slowly taper off of the methadone. But that you came home, felt a little wierd, so you popped an ms contin and a valuim and then you were fine and then took your methadone at 6.... do you see my confusion?
If you are detoxing off of the morphine with the meth, but still taking the morphine, aren't you defeating your purpose?
Just some food for thought..
Cowgirl
Cowgirl,
Don't get so concerned about other people's lives. Unless you feel that bad about your own.
Don't get so concerned about other people's lives. Unless you feel that bad about your own.
kiwirain,
give me a break. Was that necessary? This is exactly what is meant by counter productive. I think that cowgirls questions were ligitimate because I had the same ones and dont think that the doctors wont be asking too if the drug screens come up dirty. But I think that we misunderstook that is why the question was simply asked.
Why are you so defensive?
janice
by-the-way, my new sponsor is here an encouraged me to post she said it would be good to jump right in so to speak.
give me a break. Was that necessary? This is exactly what is meant by counter productive. I think that cowgirls questions were ligitimate because I had the same ones and dont think that the doctors wont be asking too if the drug screens come up dirty. But I think that we misunderstook that is why the question was simply asked.
Why are you so defensive?
janice
by-the-way, my new sponsor is here an encouraged me to post she said it would be good to jump right in so to speak.
cowgirl, thanks for your concern and your posts, M Dr. told me for the first week or so till my body adjusts to the meth that I should take 1 or 2 morph if I have to so I dont go into major negative changes so Im doing as he says and even taking less than suggested. Im hopeing in the next couple days that I can 86 the morphine altogether and be stabilized on the meth. Also have appointment for bup detox on the 13th Ray
Dear Dianna and browndog ,I cant tell you how much I appreciate your support and replies, so far so good I do plan to do the bup on the 13th but will ask the shrink if it would be bertter to stabilze longer(couple weeks on the meth )or just go for it either way I feel Im far ahead of the game. Dianna yes I have been having sleeping problems Im between all the time . I read a post the first day I got the meth about someone saying they started talking in their sleep and Ill be damned if that night I did also found myself saying something funny knowing I was inbetween deep sleep and awake when I said whatever it was out loud and turned over and started cracking up. It was the best belly laugh Ive had since I can remember, I was just happy to laugh that hard for a change. My energy level has been great my wife noticed the difference and Im being honest with her which makes her more comfortable, Like when I got home after not taking anything but the meth I told her how amazed I was and when I had to take something I told her I had to take something as I was feeling bad. I think the honesty and the fact she sees me doing what needs to be done to get off pills has lightned her load also and she is very supportive. Thanks again for the support will keep in touch. The next milestone will be when I dont have to take anything but the meth, and then the bup and then by gods grace nothing at all. best Ray
Hi Ray,
I have to admit that I had the same reaction as Cowgirl -- i.e., it seemed to be a dangerous drug cocktail you were mixing with the meth, ms contin, valium, etc. -- but your explanation put it into better perspective. As long as you're being straight up with your doctor, that's what's important. Me, I'd have to go pretty far back in time to find an instance where I was straight up with a doctor about the need for pain medication. lol Anyway, it sounds like you're making great progress. More power to you. M.
I have to admit that I had the same reaction as Cowgirl -- i.e., it seemed to be a dangerous drug cocktail you were mixing with the meth, ms contin, valium, etc. -- but your explanation put it into better perspective. As long as you're being straight up with your doctor, that's what's important. Me, I'd have to go pretty far back in time to find an instance where I was straight up with a doctor about the need for pain medication. lol Anyway, it sounds like you're making great progress. More power to you. M.
Ramon..I'm so glad that you cleared that up for me (and others)..I knew there had to be an explaination or misunderstanding. It was out of concern that I asked. You sound like you're right on track and doing exactly what you're told. That's something that we addicts have to do..let someone else drive the bus for a change.
To the person who felt it was necessary to try and start something again..All I can say is that I feel sorry for you. I hope that in time you'll be able to post without the anger and actually get something out of this recovery board instead of using it for your own personal games.
As Bob says..keep coming back. We'll love you till you can love yourself.
Cowgirl
To the person who felt it was necessary to try and start something again..All I can say is that I feel sorry for you. I hope that in time you'll be able to post without the anger and actually get something out of this recovery board instead of using it for your own personal games.
As Bob says..keep coming back. We'll love you till you can love yourself.
Cowgirl
Ramon,
How you feeling today? I hope you are doing well..
Im hanging in pretty good...I stayed up until 3am or so last night and when I finally did fall asleep I slept straight through 6 hours..No twitching, No talking, No a Little Bit Country and a little bit Rock and Roll...LOL
Im so glad I have this computer esp. now, since it occupies my mind and allows me to keep busy without doing anything strenuous..!
I went to the library today to get a couple Addiction Books, Tao of Sobriety, Year of the Dogs, A Million Little Pieces,,Go figure, not one there..
Funny story though,,,The Librarian tells me that she did have one copy of the Tao and one copy of Year of the Dogs, but that they were NEVER returned..
I had to laugh...Im thinking " Well thats an Addict for You.." esp an active one..LOL
Oh yeah Ray, I was the one who told you in prior post that you would be talking in your sleep, laughing, making hand gestures..I think I told you that if you had anything you needed to hide from your wife you may want to sleep in another room while on the Methadone....LOL I was cracking myself up one minute then yelling the other etc...Weird....
Im curious though Ray, You may have said it, but how many mil. of the Meth. are you currently taking?
I am taking approx. 30 mil. and am going to try to taper next week..
i do not find myself obsessing over the Vikes, but the thought does pop into my head when I least expect it..Guess it's gonna for a long time if not forever..
I don't know if you smoke, but I seem to be smoking more now than when I was taking the Vikes...If the pills don't kill me the smoking will...Probably both and then some>>LOL
I read some of a book on natural detoxification, but thought " One thing at a time Di"...I am still feeling sort of balanced..A really good thing..Im surprised Im not broken into pieces with all the ups and downs I was experiencing every couple days, hours..minutes...Talk about feeling like an emotional Yo Yo..
Well I have a little more reading to do, then hopefully I will hit the sack and sleep well..I just have to Love the thought (not so much about the $ I saved), but the thought about how much $ my provider is loosing...Im sure there will always be another addict down the road to cover her mortgage..
I still haven't made a meeting yet, Like Littlebeach , I think said..I feel like I am using, and in a way I am, so I do not feel right being at a meeting Another excuse?????...Who knows???
I wish you the best...You should be Proud of the Progress you have made.and Im sure your Wife is extremely happy with your Honesty. I know I sure would be..
Well goodnight and good luck
Hang in and let us know how you are feeling okay?
Love and Hugs to All.
Di
How you feeling today? I hope you are doing well..
Im hanging in pretty good...I stayed up until 3am or so last night and when I finally did fall asleep I slept straight through 6 hours..No twitching, No talking, No a Little Bit Country and a little bit Rock and Roll...LOL
Im so glad I have this computer esp. now, since it occupies my mind and allows me to keep busy without doing anything strenuous..!
I went to the library today to get a couple Addiction Books, Tao of Sobriety, Year of the Dogs, A Million Little Pieces,,Go figure, not one there..
Funny story though,,,The Librarian tells me that she did have one copy of the Tao and one copy of Year of the Dogs, but that they were NEVER returned..
I had to laugh...Im thinking " Well thats an Addict for You.." esp an active one..LOL
Oh yeah Ray, I was the one who told you in prior post that you would be talking in your sleep, laughing, making hand gestures..I think I told you that if you had anything you needed to hide from your wife you may want to sleep in another room while on the Methadone....LOL I was cracking myself up one minute then yelling the other etc...Weird....
Im curious though Ray, You may have said it, but how many mil. of the Meth. are you currently taking?
I am taking approx. 30 mil. and am going to try to taper next week..
i do not find myself obsessing over the Vikes, but the thought does pop into my head when I least expect it..Guess it's gonna for a long time if not forever..
I don't know if you smoke, but I seem to be smoking more now than when I was taking the Vikes...If the pills don't kill me the smoking will...Probably both and then some>>LOL
I read some of a book on natural detoxification, but thought " One thing at a time Di"...I am still feeling sort of balanced..A really good thing..Im surprised Im not broken into pieces with all the ups and downs I was experiencing every couple days, hours..minutes...Talk about feeling like an emotional Yo Yo..
Well I have a little more reading to do, then hopefully I will hit the sack and sleep well..I just have to Love the thought (not so much about the $ I saved), but the thought about how much $ my provider is loosing...Im sure there will always be another addict down the road to cover her mortgage..
I still haven't made a meeting yet, Like Littlebeach , I think said..I feel like I am using, and in a way I am, so I do not feel right being at a meeting Another excuse?????...Who knows???
I wish you the best...You should be Proud of the Progress you have made.and Im sure your Wife is extremely happy with your Honesty. I know I sure would be..
Well goodnight and good luck
Hang in and let us know how you are feeling okay?
Love and Hugs to All.
Di
Diana, I think you should go anyway. Please consider it...you don't have to say anything. Just to see people in recovery and working through it will help. That is why I go, it is the hope and spirit I get in that room that is saving my a** right now.
I shared my tramadol thing today. I am not taking it to get high. s***, it doesn't get me high. I am just afraid of justifying using narcotics so I keep that handy. But honestly, I don't like it because I know what a b**** withdrawls are. I am putting myself on a schedule to get off. Funny, it even lost its power, it doesn't even work much anymore.
I don't want to get involved with drama, but I think there was nothing wrong with cowgirls post at all.
Can't we all play nice??
Ramon, good luck to you>>>>>>>>>>>>>
kerry
I shared my tramadol thing today. I am not taking it to get high. s***, it doesn't get me high. I am just afraid of justifying using narcotics so I keep that handy. But honestly, I don't like it because I know what a b**** withdrawls are. I am putting myself on a schedule to get off. Funny, it even lost its power, it doesn't even work much anymore.
I don't want to get involved with drama, but I think there was nothing wrong with cowgirls post at all.
Can't we all play nice??
Ramon, good luck to you>>>>>>>>>>>>>
kerry
Nicely handled, Cowgirl.
Thanks M..getting better at this. Maybe I'm growing as a result of all this recovery stuff? Geesh, how did that happend?
Keep a smile on your face today...
Cowgirl
Keep a smile on your face today...
Cowgirl
Hello everyone! I just wanted to let you know that I' ve been taking bup since March (miracle drug) and I also do the talking in my sleep thing. Not only that, but I'll be dreaming that I'm petting my dog with my hand and I wake up and there I am stroking the sheet with that hand! It is really weird! My husband says I moan and talk up a storm sometimes. But the hand thing is really funny -- it may happen about once a week or so.
Ramon, I hope you try the bup. If you are tempted to do an oxy or another opiate while on bup, it will have no effect whatsoever. Been there, done that. Stupid me. Anyway, I guess if you take enough of a opiate while on bup, it could send you into withdrawl. I'm not professing to be a doc or anywhere close, but that's what I think will happen. Correct me if I'm wrong. Good luck to you and best wishes on your recovery.
Ramon, I hope you try the bup. If you are tempted to do an oxy or another opiate while on bup, it will have no effect whatsoever. Been there, done that. Stupid me. Anyway, I guess if you take enough of a opiate while on bup, it could send you into withdrawl. I'm not professing to be a doc or anywhere close, but that's what I think will happen. Correct me if I'm wrong. Good luck to you and best wishes on your recovery.
