Well, I made it to day 7. I am proud of myself, but today was very hard. Since I work in the medical field, (marketing) I see A LOT of doctors. Today I had a lunch at a family practice office, and a part of me kept thinking, "There must be some samples around here, or some script pads."
Now I have NEVER written my own script, or stolen from a doctor. And I don't think I ever would. But it makes me so upset that I am thinking about it. This is pretty much all I can think of.
I am still VERY COLD. I don't know if that will ever go away. My back is killing me - I fell through my computer chair last night. I have the scrape and bruises to prove it. - And I keep thinking that if I just had a couple of pills that I would feel so much better.
My mind is saying that if I got one more bottle, that it would be okay. That I could take it in moderation, and not screw up. But I know that I can't.
Please if anyone is out there, give me some hope. I really need it. Thanks
-britney
If anyone is out there, PLEASE help.
-britney
-britney
Britney, your not alone in thinking like that, I've done the same myself many times, but you've come to far to turn back now and have to start over again. Thats what keeps me from using, I know 1 will lead to 2 and so on. hang in there your doing great.
How much snow do you have now Brit?
Good luck
JohnDee
How much snow do you have now Brit?
Good luck
JohnDee
only about 6 inches of snow, but I live 3 miles from work, and it took me 45 minutes to get there this morning.
Thank you for your post. I really need to hear inspirational words right now. Thanks.
Thank you for your post. I really need to hear inspirational words right now. Thanks.
Hey Britney! Man, I am so impressed that you are able to go to work! I stay at home and can not even function here, on day 14.
I know it must be so hard to be in the situations you find yourself in everyday. Triggers, I believe is what I have learned you call them since being on this site. But, just keep thinking that with each passing day you are going to get stronger and the temptation will subside. I never thought that would be true for me, and it now is.
Don't guess you could take some time off or you would have already done that, huh?
You have come such a long way on your own now, while being a mom and having a career, do not let the pills sucker you back in!!! I have a lot of faith in you and will keep you in my prayers!
Brit-Just hang in there and don't let the temptation get the best of you. You've come WAY too far..I for one am cheering you on!
Thank you all so much for all of your support.
You know what I realized today? I was just at my moms house (with the whole family) for her birthday. Now the times I always made sure I had enough pills was durring the Thanksgiving to Christmas season. My family has 5 bithdays in that time period.
Anyway, I was sitting in the living room with my whole family surrounding me, and I found myself actully enjoying their company. I was laughing, and making jokes. This is the very first time I have realized that I CAN DO THIS. No one else around me needs any kind of "fake energy" to get through life, so why do I ???
This also may sound stupid, but as I listen to my CD's in the car, I have begun to remember the different events that took place in my life when those songs came out. It had made me cry, laugh, and remember people in my life who are no longer around. While I was on the pills, I didn't feel any of that. It makes a part of me sad, but to be able to FEEL again is an overpowering feeling!
Anyone else have similar experiences???
-britney
You know what I realized today? I was just at my moms house (with the whole family) for her birthday. Now the times I always made sure I had enough pills was durring the Thanksgiving to Christmas season. My family has 5 bithdays in that time period.
Anyway, I was sitting in the living room with my whole family surrounding me, and I found myself actully enjoying their company. I was laughing, and making jokes. This is the very first time I have realized that I CAN DO THIS. No one else around me needs any kind of "fake energy" to get through life, so why do I ???
This also may sound stupid, but as I listen to my CD's in the car, I have begun to remember the different events that took place in my life when those songs came out. It had made me cry, laugh, and remember people in my life who are no longer around. While I was on the pills, I didn't feel any of that. It makes a part of me sad, but to be able to FEEL again is an overpowering feeling!
Anyone else have similar experiences???
-britney
Yes Britney, its great not to be in a drug induced stupor everyday. I used to take a perc before bed, it was usually my 10th one or more, and I would sleep right through the alarm. It got so bad I had to set another alarm so I would have two alarms going to wake me up. lately I've been waking up before my alarm and I actually feel like a got some rest, with the pills I was always tired and had to pop a couple pills to get me going, glad those days are over.
Good night
JohnDee
Good night
JohnDee
Britney,
"WOW, DAY 7"That is great! You can't turn back now you are on the track to getting your OLD SELF back. That is wonderful and you should be very proud of yourself. hang in there, it will get better! Rachel
"WOW, DAY 7"That is great! You can't turn back now you are on the track to getting your OLD SELF back. That is wonderful and you should be very proud of yourself. hang in there, it will get better! Rachel
THAT'S GGGGGGREAT Britney!!!!!!!!!!, i am so proud of you sweetir, you keep up the great work!!!
Britney, you gonna have to change your tired lion icon to something a little more peppy.
JohnDee
JohnDee
Thanks john!! I think I will do that now!!!!
Great idea.
-britney
Great idea.
-britney
Britney
I am on my 3rd Week clean, those pains will start to fade, believe me. You will still have some days that were harder than the one before. Yesterday was very hard for me, but today I fell like I can do anything I choose to. Each week will be better than the one before, I am starting to sleep much better now, get some exercise and stay busy. Make sure you have a friend to support you, NA meetings have also helped me. I also have thought about heck only 1 more bottle, though thats all I did think about for 2 and a half years. I do not want to go back, stay strong and get support!
I am on my 3rd Week clean, those pains will start to fade, believe me. You will still have some days that were harder than the one before. Yesterday was very hard for me, but today I fell like I can do anything I choose to. Each week will be better than the one before, I am starting to sleep much better now, get some exercise and stay busy. Make sure you have a friend to support you, NA meetings have also helped me. I also have thought about heck only 1 more bottle, though thats all I did think about for 2 and a half years. I do not want to go back, stay strong and get support!
Its alittle late in writing this but i think WE ARE ALL SO PROUD OF YOU BRITANY KEEP PUSHING GIRL A CLEAN LIFE CAN BE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE AFTER THE STRUGGLE>>>>>>>MOLLYJEAN
YIPPIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE, DAY 8... We are ALL so proud of you! Keep up the hard work,Rae
Believe me I have my eyes full of tears, I cann't even end one day, You are so stronge to be on 8 day clean.
You know, since I started to get into this forum, my spirit went very height,I couldn't say that I am clean from pain killers, but I am in my secound day trying very hard as never before, my last dose was at 6:30 pm today and it was minimal 25 % of what I was using, but this morning when I woke up I was stronge enough to not use anything until 9:00am, my dose before this one was at 9:00 pm yesterday, this morning I did not got any problems not using but the sensation of been using was killing me.and I just scrue it. I never before i even try it.My dayly use was almost 1 inyection every 3 or 4 hours, and today I am just using 25% every 6 hour that for me is a big step, but hearing from people like you is like how I get stroger.
But you, you just finish with that every one has a back pain just get that in your head, do not even use any but any control drug, you did it. I would like to just get, only but only 2 day clean and I cann't.I been weak I just hope that tomorrow do not get nothing into my sistem.
CONGRATULATION , YOU DID ONE MORE DAY.
You know, since I started to get into this forum, my spirit went very height,I couldn't say that I am clean from pain killers, but I am in my secound day trying very hard as never before, my last dose was at 6:30 pm today and it was minimal 25 % of what I was using, but this morning when I woke up I was stronge enough to not use anything until 9:00am, my dose before this one was at 9:00 pm yesterday, this morning I did not got any problems not using but the sensation of been using was killing me.and I just scrue it. I never before i even try it.My dayly use was almost 1 inyection every 3 or 4 hours, and today I am just using 25% every 6 hour that for me is a big step, but hearing from people like you is like how I get stroger.
But you, you just finish with that every one has a back pain just get that in your head, do not even use any but any control drug, you did it. I would like to just get, only but only 2 day clean and I cann't.I been weak I just hope that tomorrow do not get nothing into my sistem.
CONGRATULATION , YOU DID ONE MORE DAY.
Thank you for that last post. I can't tell you how many times I have tried t stop before, made it 2 days, then started again. I have never come this far before.
I am getting ready to leave (in 3 minutes) for my first NA meeting. I am having a rough night. I know it will get better, but I don't know when or how.
This might sound stupid, but I keep listening to a song. It is country - but it really seems to fit me now.
It is Kenny Chesney's "That's why I'm here".
Now this song is about a man who is overcoming an addiction to alcohol, but I just pretend it is something else, and it really makes sense.
It is about this mans first AA meeting, and when he walks in there is a man who stands up to speak.
Some of the lyrics are:
"It's the simple things in life,
like the kids at home and a loving wife
that you miss the most
when you lose control.
Everything you love starts to disapear
The devil takes your hand and says no fear-
Have another shot, just one more beer,
I've been there, That's why I'm here.
I hope I do not get in trouble for posting that. I hope it helps. It has helped me.
-britney
I will be back after my meeting. I will let you know how it went!
please keep posting.
I am getting ready to leave (in 3 minutes) for my first NA meeting. I am having a rough night. I know it will get better, but I don't know when or how.
This might sound stupid, but I keep listening to a song. It is country - but it really seems to fit me now.
It is Kenny Chesney's "That's why I'm here".
Now this song is about a man who is overcoming an addiction to alcohol, but I just pretend it is something else, and it really makes sense.
It is about this mans first AA meeting, and when he walks in there is a man who stands up to speak.
Some of the lyrics are:
"It's the simple things in life,
like the kids at home and a loving wife
that you miss the most
when you lose control.
Everything you love starts to disapear
The devil takes your hand and says no fear-
Have another shot, just one more beer,
I've been there, That's why I'm here.
I hope I do not get in trouble for posting that. I hope it helps. It has helped me.
-britney
I will be back after my meeting. I will let you know how it went!
please keep posting.
WAY TO GO BRITANY WE ARE SO PROUD
Britney:
How was your meeting? I like that Kenny Chesney song also. It brought tears to my eyes the first time I truly listened to the words. Thanks for posting it. M.
How was your meeting? I like that Kenny Chesney song also. It brought tears to my eyes the first time I truly listened to the words. Thanks for posting it. M.
"Day 9",YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WAY TO GO GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!!KEEP IT UP!!!!!!!!Rae