Hi all
maybe some of you can relate.
How do you deal with the active alcoholic when you are trying to quit drinking and/or sober.. He's been pretty good about not drinking round me, but last night he did. He mostly drinks outside on the porch so he can smoke so its not too bad for me. but it was more how he gets when he's drunk.
I've not had to deal with this much before because I've ususally been drunk too LOL. But you're sitting there and can't even talk to the person, I'm sure you all know how useful it is to talk to someone who's drunk!! He gets really morose sometimes when he'd drunk and won't speak at all - that's how he was last night.
Finally I called my uncle on some lame pretext and chatted to him for a while, then got my needlework out and did that and watched TV. My parents called a bit later and I chatted to them, by which time H had passed out more or less.
But how do you deal with it? Any advice from anyone whose been there?
Hi Idgie;) Hope you're doing well.
This is a tough one....i go through the same thing time and time again with my H. I have been for 3 yrs. now. I know the feeling of trying to have a conversation with a drunk slob who thinks their being humorous.(Not directed at your H, but mine;) I guess the only advice that i have is to try to keep busy doing other things. Go shopping, go for a walk, talk on the phone, or my favorite...get on here and b**** about it to all your friends;) lol....
This is a tough one....i go through the same thing time and time again with my H. I have been for 3 yrs. now. I know the feeling of trying to have a conversation with a drunk slob who thinks their being humorous.(Not directed at your H, but mine;) I guess the only advice that i have is to try to keep busy doing other things. Go shopping, go for a walk, talk on the phone, or my favorite...get on here and b**** about it to all your friends;) lol....
For me, the only thing I had in common with my ex-husband is drinking and using...and that stopped working a long time before I left him...I lived in constant fear from his threats of uncovering my "secrets" and when I finally got that gift of desperation and was willing to go to any length to get sober, I did'nt care anymore...I'm certainly not one to give relationship advice because I'm not the best at boy/girl relationships, however I've been with the same guy for over 2 years...who gives me the space I need and knows my recovery comes first (he is in recovery too) and sometimes that is the only priority I can have for the day. However, it was recommended that I didn't make any major changes in the first year...and looking back in hindsight I can see why now. It's tough, gals, I know, but you are doing terrific!
Great post VW;)
How are you today? I read that you have the day off...hope you enjoy it! I'm excited to hear about your party yesterday too, hope it was good;)
p.s. Good luck at your Dr. appointments;)
How are you today? I read that you have the day off...hope you enjoy it! I'm excited to hear about your party yesterday too, hope it was good;)
p.s. Good luck at your Dr. appointments;)
Hi Jaydie, Jayde, Jayde (just be silly here), I needed to take today off, too much happening in the last couple of weeks. But guess what? My Doctor's office just called and said the Dr called in sick today...so we would need to reschedule...I said, No, find another Dr...I took the day off and I'm still itching, but my sister thinks it due to stress too, just like you said. My daughter has an ingrown toe nail, and another problem too...but I'm not able to post it here.
The party went off very well...I was even able to enjoy myself. I do Customer events at work so I get very detailed oriented when I do stuff like this. About 30 people showed up, I pre-ordered the food, made little place cards for everyone, everyone pitched in for a wonderful gift for her...Home Depot gift card...one of the guys at our Alano Club makes covers for AA books and he made a blue suede cover for her new BB, which we all signed (those of us who are friends of Bill W's) - he puts a leather triangle/circle (AA emblem) in the center than in leather embosses the name and DOS...they are so beautiful. We had a very pretty cake for her, took lots of photos and a few of us gave speeches, btw it wasn't all AA people, it also were her friends from work and from a class she teaches & we all mixed perfectly....it turned out so well, however I have mixed emotions, she's been my Sponsor since Day 1.
The party went off very well...I was even able to enjoy myself. I do Customer events at work so I get very detailed oriented when I do stuff like this. About 30 people showed up, I pre-ordered the food, made little place cards for everyone, everyone pitched in for a wonderful gift for her...Home Depot gift card...one of the guys at our Alano Club makes covers for AA books and he made a blue suede cover for her new BB, which we all signed (those of us who are friends of Bill W's) - he puts a leather triangle/circle (AA emblem) in the center than in leather embosses the name and DOS...they are so beautiful. We had a very pretty cake for her, took lots of photos and a few of us gave speeches, btw it wasn't all AA people, it also were her friends from work and from a class she teaches & we all mixed perfectly....it turned out so well, however I have mixed emotions, she's been my Sponsor since Day 1.
Glad to hear everything went well;) Boy you're quite the party planner! I bet it was just wonderful;) I can understand your feelings about losing your sponsor, i can imagine she is probably one of your closest friends as well. Sorry you are going through this. Hope your daughters toe feels better, and the other problem as well;)
Have a great day!
Have a great day!
Hi Idgie, Oh I know that' s a tough one, what I have done is just ask my H to go over to his buddies place if he feels like getting hammered, I just don't want to be around him when he's like that anymore. It may be a little selfish but I would do the same for him if he asked. Or what jayde said is another good idea, just get yourself out, long enough so he passes out and you can have some peace.
How are doing otherwise hun?
Big Hugs
lovedove
How are doing otherwise hun?
Big Hugs
lovedove
Hi all
well he has been pretty good about going over to a friend's or going out to drink. But sometimes he wants to drink at home. His drinking (as mine did at the end) has become quite isolationist. And its his home as well as mine so I can't kick him out all the time.
Yes, I do go and do my own thing quite a bit - but sometimes I want a husband around you know? this particular day, except for going to a meeting I'd been at home by myself all day and wanted someone to talk to and he's out there drunk and not speaking.
I've learned that trying to talk to him drunk is a waste of time and ususally ends in an argument anyway so I just don't bother - but it is so annoying sometimes.
Oh well - i've just got to start appreciating the days we are sober together more I guess. Last night was good - we were both sober and had a nice "normal" evening together.
well he has been pretty good about going over to a friend's or going out to drink. But sometimes he wants to drink at home. His drinking (as mine did at the end) has become quite isolationist. And its his home as well as mine so I can't kick him out all the time.
Yes, I do go and do my own thing quite a bit - but sometimes I want a husband around you know? this particular day, except for going to a meeting I'd been at home by myself all day and wanted someone to talk to and he's out there drunk and not speaking.
I've learned that trying to talk to him drunk is a waste of time and ususally ends in an argument anyway so I just don't bother - but it is so annoying sometimes.
Oh well - i've just got to start appreciating the days we are sober together more I guess. Last night was good - we were both sober and had a nice "normal" evening together.
