One of the biggest issues I've observed is the denial in the family that the alkie has issues or is an alcoholic. How they ignore something like well over a dozen drinks at a family dinner/get together eludes me. They 'drink' themselves I guess is the only answer and/or they don't to want to admit their family has problems.
The actual parents denial at first I expect. But those not so quite close theoretically should be the less biased ones. This is what puzzles me. Why the denial? Older adults or extended family might less informed but they should also be the wisest.
I know 10 is rarther a lot, but maybe the family are just pleased to see him been there and socialising, sometimes it's easier to bury your head rarther then address the situation, maybe older noes do notice but feel it's not up to them to say anything, I know one of mine can certainly down a few, but dosent have a problem, not sure if this is helping your question but nice to have feedback take care
It helps and I agree in the beginning other family would just happy to see them around a holiday, birthday, event etc.
But it was also easy to see attitude, they knew about employment and financial issues and past history including some juvenile delinquent stuff as a teen. They showed up late and drunk on more than one family occasion. Going to a family dinner already buzzed or high not raising eyebrows?
I will say alot of family were big drinkers themselves but they never showed up to a function drunk. And others had kids with some issues of their own and actually put them through rehab, one doesn't drink at all. But the denial. I will say the alkie and his gf are great two faced actors all about image. They've even 'instructed/begged others don't mention xyz about them so sometimes it takes awhile for information to spread. Ive been the squeaky wheel. Now I'm considered judgemental commenting about others behavior.
I'll write off some as some living in a glass house we haven't see yet and others being pretentious/naive about their own family.
But it was also easy to see attitude, they knew about employment and financial issues and past history including some juvenile delinquent stuff as a teen. They showed up late and drunk on more than one family occasion. Going to a family dinner already buzzed or high not raising eyebrows?
I will say alot of family were big drinkers themselves but they never showed up to a function drunk. And others had kids with some issues of their own and actually put them through rehab, one doesn't drink at all. But the denial. I will say the alkie and his gf are great two faced actors all about image. They've even 'instructed/begged others don't mention xyz about them so sometimes it takes awhile for information to spread. Ive been the squeaky wheel. Now I'm considered judgemental commenting about others behavior.
I'll write off some as some living in a glass house we haven't see yet and others being pretentious/naive about their own family.
There is a whole family dynamic that occurs in families of alcholics. Its the elephant in the room no one chooses to see (except you samegame). Its not healthy and it allows the alcoholic to keep doing what their doing. Like you said here and other posts, it creates a new 'normal' which in reality isnt normal at all....its very dyfunctional.
Sallyanna, you described it perfectly. The elephant in the room is being ignored. The entire family is dragged into it one way or another. Even if just covering or making excuses or simply having to bite their tongue struggling to stay out of 'it'. The people in question have allies and/or detractors as is. This can cause a rift or create battle line in regards to the subject or person.
Also there is generation that never got into social media, internet or even reality shows like Intervention so they are less informed. This on top of you are supposed to mind your own business or give family a pass/support no matter what.
Also there is generation that never got into social media, internet or even reality shows like Intervention so they are less informed. This on top of you are supposed to mind your own business or give family a pass/support no matter what.
