I am in week two of a taper from about 120mg of hydro a day. I went right down to 50mg, which may explain why I feel so depressed. I just have a bad, bad feeling that I cannot shake. I am going to work and participating in family affairs, but I am so low! There is some self-loathing that I let myself get into this cycle, but I am having a hard time forgiving myself....I think because I am so down in general that I cannot work through this. I DO want to quit using...I know that much. How did you all deal with that low time?
Also....what types of aches and pains should I expect? I feel strange sensations which give me panic attacks. I had a blood test and my liver function is normal.
I am just writing this because I need some support. As I have written, I have been using for a relatively short time. I know that it is out of control and I don't like myself at all. I am just having a terrible day.
Hey! Sorry you are having a lousy day.
I would just jump off at this point.If you already are depressed,why not get it over with? You won't be dragging it out another two weeks.Can you honestly say you want to feel like this for 3-4 weeks?
You may have more physical symptoms for 3 or 4 days but it will end.
Good Luck
I would just jump off at this point.If you already are depressed,why not get it over with? You won't be dragging it out another two weeks.Can you honestly say you want to feel like this for 3-4 weeks?
You may have more physical symptoms for 3 or 4 days but it will end.
Good Luck
mrjer, Like Tim said why not just jump off and get it over with. You are gonna have these feeling and it is normal. Kinda like losing your best friend but if you hang in there it is so worth it in the long run. It does get better. Shantel
the only response i can give to you that helped me during the depression part of withdrawal is suboxone and my faith.i started taking sub on july 10 of this year and what a diiference!!
my family sees it too, i love living! i dont know if there are any anti depressant properties in the suboxone but i really mean it when i say i am happy! i have the usual stresses of everyday living dont get me wrong, i even had a nervous breakdown 2 weeks ago.. the sub kept me clean through out the agony i suffered with the break down. i have panic/anxiety disorder too.
i have a few holiday triggers, but the sub is helping! give it a try! k-9/ jewls
my family sees it too, i love living! i dont know if there are any anti depressant properties in the suboxone but i really mean it when i say i am happy! i have the usual stresses of everyday living dont get me wrong, i even had a nervous breakdown 2 weeks ago.. the sub kept me clean through out the agony i suffered with the break down. i have panic/anxiety disorder too.
i have a few holiday triggers, but the sub is helping! give it a try! k-9/ jewls
Hi Jewls!! Just wanted to let you know that they have done extensive research on the anit depressant qualities that sub has...there are plenty...I too am experiencing these great side effects!
Mrj...I hope you get the help you need...you will so much happier that you did! I am really proud of you for your taper....but all the feelings your feeling now is exactly why I could never taper...those feelings drive you right back to the drugs.
You can do it....flush those devils!! You are seeing your doctor maybe he/she can offer you something to "ease" the pain of w/d..who knows maybe your a good candidate for sub? Wouldn't hurt to discuss it...it helps you stop all the behaviours so you can focus on recovery1
Anyway..your doing fantastic!
Mrj...I hope you get the help you need...you will so much happier that you did! I am really proud of you for your taper....but all the feelings your feeling now is exactly why I could never taper...those feelings drive you right back to the drugs.
You can do it....flush those devils!! You are seeing your doctor maybe he/she can offer you something to "ease" the pain of w/d..who knows maybe your a good candidate for sub? Wouldn't hurt to discuss it...it helps you stop all the behaviours so you can focus on recovery1
Anyway..your doing fantastic!
mrjer...
jump right off those dang pills. just flush em. (i flushed pills on day three of my cold turkey experience and it was the MOST empowering thing i have done in a very long time). i was amazed at how defiant i was when i flushed those pills...like a rebellious child not listening to a parent. it seriously made me realize how bad this addiction is...because it was SOOOO difficult to do, but so amazingly helpful to me.
you have to pay for the self indulgence of addiction. nothing in life is free, everything we experience is a trade. i traded my habit for my clarity...kind of a no brainer, huh?
quitting isn't easy, and staying clean is even more difficult. but to quit taking pills, you have to QUIT taking them. this addiction will never get better, it will only get worse...you have to decide if you have hit your bottom...or do you need for things to get a little more out of control...a little more scary and dangerous. this is a question only you can answer. i hope you have found your bottom...but each person's is different.
my heart and my mind have opened exponentitally since i quit taking those damn pills. i no longer have to chase them down, lie to get them, or risk my health to get them. i don't have to worry about how much money i am spending on illicit drugs...and i NEVER have to count and recount pills 100 times a day because i keep forgetting how many i can take today...
there are so many bad things associated with my pill use that i will never have to experience again if i just stay clean. the withdrawals were a good way to stay clean in the beginning...i NEVER want to go through that again either, but as time has gone on...it isn't fear of withdrawal that is keeping me from using, it is the way i feel on the inside that is keeping me clean. i can look at myself in the mirror...there is a twinkle in my eyes...there are no dark circles under my eyes. i rest when i am tired instead of popping another friggin pill. i feel tired because i have worked hard physically...i earned the rest (that feels incredibly nice). i am not angry at a moment's notice. i do not constantly have negative inner dialogue zipping through my brain. i am dreaming again. i understand the nature of inspiration again. i can hear subtle things, like the train in the distance or the birds in the morning...(this is because i am much more still now...and am more aware of my surroundings), i am grateful for many things...but mainly i am grateful that i understand what being grateful feels like again. i can now reach out to other addicts in trouble...or celebrate victories with other addicts who are winning the war. i do not ever have to go into weird situations to cop pills again. i can say, "no thank you" and quietly walk away, i can live with myself, i can forgive myself, and i can expect of myself.
i have reacquainted with my higher power...and i know i am being led. i can trust again and i can consider myself trustworthy again. i have realized that my addiction has become my teacher, and i am thankful that i walked through the fire...but the greatest thing sobriety has given me is my ability to love again.
i hope this helps you somehow.
good luck and god bless,
sarah (not feeling clever)
jump right off those dang pills. just flush em. (i flushed pills on day three of my cold turkey experience and it was the MOST empowering thing i have done in a very long time). i was amazed at how defiant i was when i flushed those pills...like a rebellious child not listening to a parent. it seriously made me realize how bad this addiction is...because it was SOOOO difficult to do, but so amazingly helpful to me.
you have to pay for the self indulgence of addiction. nothing in life is free, everything we experience is a trade. i traded my habit for my clarity...kind of a no brainer, huh?
quitting isn't easy, and staying clean is even more difficult. but to quit taking pills, you have to QUIT taking them. this addiction will never get better, it will only get worse...you have to decide if you have hit your bottom...or do you need for things to get a little more out of control...a little more scary and dangerous. this is a question only you can answer. i hope you have found your bottom...but each person's is different.
my heart and my mind have opened exponentitally since i quit taking those damn pills. i no longer have to chase them down, lie to get them, or risk my health to get them. i don't have to worry about how much money i am spending on illicit drugs...and i NEVER have to count and recount pills 100 times a day because i keep forgetting how many i can take today...
there are so many bad things associated with my pill use that i will never have to experience again if i just stay clean. the withdrawals were a good way to stay clean in the beginning...i NEVER want to go through that again either, but as time has gone on...it isn't fear of withdrawal that is keeping me from using, it is the way i feel on the inside that is keeping me clean. i can look at myself in the mirror...there is a twinkle in my eyes...there are no dark circles under my eyes. i rest when i am tired instead of popping another friggin pill. i feel tired because i have worked hard physically...i earned the rest (that feels incredibly nice). i am not angry at a moment's notice. i do not constantly have negative inner dialogue zipping through my brain. i am dreaming again. i understand the nature of inspiration again. i can hear subtle things, like the train in the distance or the birds in the morning...(this is because i am much more still now...and am more aware of my surroundings), i am grateful for many things...but mainly i am grateful that i understand what being grateful feels like again. i can now reach out to other addicts in trouble...or celebrate victories with other addicts who are winning the war. i do not ever have to go into weird situations to cop pills again. i can say, "no thank you" and quietly walk away, i can live with myself, i can forgive myself, and i can expect of myself.
i have reacquainted with my higher power...and i know i am being led. i can trust again and i can consider myself trustworthy again. i have realized that my addiction has become my teacher, and i am thankful that i walked through the fire...but the greatest thing sobriety has given me is my ability to love again.
i hope this helps you somehow.
good luck and god bless,
sarah (not feeling clever)
