I currently found out my boyfriend of 7 months has been hiding a pain pill addiction from me. He lived with me and I had no idea he has this as a problem. I had some things going on and decided I needed to move to another province and he had agreed to come with me after going back and forth on the idea. Then last week he and I had an argument and all of a sudden he said he couldn't come and moved out that night. He just took off and that was that. We were very very close and talked about marriage and kids and the future. He just told me yesterday that he left because he couldn't hide it from me anymore and knew if he told me I would just end the relationship anyway as I am very against drugs.... he says he has been trying to detox for the past few days at his friends house and he left because he knew he was toxic for me and my daughter. I appreciate that he has thought of how toxic this is for me and my daughter but now I feel helpless because he has pushed me away and barely talks to me. He says he plans to move out of province to his family's house and try to get clean off these and that he can't be with me. I'm heartbroken because I didn't see this comming! I don't understand why he is pushing me so far away when he balled his eyes out for days because he was leaving and we were over? I don't know how to support him or how to accept that the guy I love and thought I would have a family with one day is gone ? Anyone with some advice, insight or suggestions please help! I feel like nothing I say or do is good enough !
Anyone!? I need advice? Why would this person who loves me push me away and barely talk to me? It's night and day. Different person overnight! If I txt he will respond with just a few words or say he is going to go nap, or shower or make an excuse to stop talking to me. He never lied to me and was always honest except about this big secret he had. He was like a normal guy, didn't act like he was an addict in anyway accept now looking back I can see times he was actually detoxing rather then "not feeling well". Why would he just stop loving me and go emotionally empty? Someone please help me understand what could be going on!
Please, if you love him, give him the freedom to do what he needs to do. Yes, your dreams have been shattered and, still, you need to love yourself and your daughter and move on. This was how the story was to be played out and the only way to not drive yourself crazy is to accept reality. Focus on getting a good life for yourself and your daughter and making yourself a new and happy future.
Hey Orchidlove,
To me it feels like yours is one of the most hopeful cases on the board right now! Hes not manipulating you, blaming you, abusing you, promising you sweet old nothing and stringing you along. He came clean, wants to get straight, and doesnt want to drag you through that whole mess of a process. On this board, that makes him a keeper :).
He is right. It is his mess to straighten out. It has nothing to do with you. Not the fact that he does drugs, not his getting clean - there is nothing you can do, should do - let him get through his journey.
I am so sure he will end up back at your doorstep ready for everything you have planned for.
To me it feels like yours is one of the most hopeful cases on the board right now! Hes not manipulating you, blaming you, abusing you, promising you sweet old nothing and stringing you along. He came clean, wants to get straight, and doesnt want to drag you through that whole mess of a process. On this board, that makes him a keeper :).
He is right. It is his mess to straighten out. It has nothing to do with you. Not the fact that he does drugs, not his getting clean - there is nothing you can do, should do - let him get through his journey.
I am so sure he will end up back at your doorstep ready for everything you have planned for.
