This is more of a diary/rant then a post. A year ago I was diagnoised with AIP Propyhria rare liver/blood disorder. Every 3-4 months i'm in the hospital for a week + a few times a year 3-4 litters of blood transfused. Next transfusion sept 25th. I did a full detox off subutex then relasped went back on methadone did A full detox off methadone. About 2 weeks out of the clinic shoot up yeesterday and maybe 12 days before that for 3 days. The 3 day run cost me 4 days in the hospital. Real close to getting more today. Yesterday I took my youngest brother to rehab "his ideal" I shoot up with his girlfriend 1 hr after i left him there. Last 6 months have been subs/methadone then dope with the hospital mixed in for good measure. Feeling lost :(
What a roller coaster! If nothing changes, nothing changes. Please make a change get out of the madness. It will only get worse, not better. (((HUGS))).
Jessica
Jessica
Just read your post of sept 19, after reading your advice to me. Hey I just want to give you my support for tomorrow. I see you are due another transfusion at hospital. I hope you can get through it. You can cope with it without using. You have done it before. Your ups and downs off and on the gear/meth remind me of my last 10 years. It's time to just get off for good. We can do it!!! All the best x
Im pretty much into a full relaspe now. The day i started this post was the only day i had not used. Im now doing 4 shots a day 1/2 gram lasting 2 to 3 days. Right back to where i was in 2004. I know what needs done. I promise myself each bag i buy will be my last. I tell myself im gonna use less always end up using more. I know im digging a hole i cant stay in. Im shocked my liver is putting up with me. Im not even sad or depressed about the situation funny how H lets u not feel.
Get to a rehab place or a NA meeting fast! You don't have to live like this any longer if you don't want to. Stop the madness and commit to having a better life. You'll be glad you did. HUGS and prayers. GET HELP! YOU COULD DIE TONIGHT!
Jessica
Jessica
Zerogirl,
why in the world did you go off the methadone in the first place? If that was keeping you from using why would you stop it????
Like girltoday said, get help now, you know what to do.
We have all been there honey. I was clean for almost 5 years, no methadone, no nothing.
Then I let my addict "stinkin' thinkin'" back in to control me and that was my end. I almost died in 7 short months of relapse. I chose methadone to save my life, which it did, and I never looked back and haven't used since.
You have to surround yourself with the right kind of people and stop letting your head do all your thinking, that is where we get in trouble, listening to ourselves. Your best thinking got you where?? Using everyday.
Get out of the drivers seat and let someone else drive until you get another good grip on being clean. You have several ways to go. I would go with the one thing that got you the furthest and get in some good clean time, then make an educated decision on where you need to go from there.
Good luck, you know where you can come to vent and get support. We are ALL right behind you.
granny
Hey girl...how are ya dear???
why in the world did you go off the methadone in the first place? If that was keeping you from using why would you stop it????
Like girltoday said, get help now, you know what to do.
We have all been there honey. I was clean for almost 5 years, no methadone, no nothing.
Then I let my addict "stinkin' thinkin'" back in to control me and that was my end. I almost died in 7 short months of relapse. I chose methadone to save my life, which it did, and I never looked back and haven't used since.
You have to surround yourself with the right kind of people and stop letting your head do all your thinking, that is where we get in trouble, listening to ourselves. Your best thinking got you where?? Using everyday.
Get out of the drivers seat and let someone else drive until you get another good grip on being clean. You have several ways to go. I would go with the one thing that got you the furthest and get in some good clean time, then make an educated decision on where you need to go from there.
Good luck, you know where you can come to vent and get support. We are ALL right behind you.
granny
Hey girl...how are ya dear???
Hey Granny! I'm doing well. Same ol same ol here. I read your post about your grand daughter WOW that is soo awesome! I've had a cold for going on 2 weeks. Been to the doctor and still can't shake it. Getting the son ready for Halloween and i'm starting my Christmas shopping early this year so I don't have to fight the crowds. But I might do some black Friday shopping. I have never wanted to do it but with all the great deals these days it's hard not to want to. Anyway sorry to be so brief, just not a lot going on(and thats a good thing)
BIG FAT SUPER DUPPER HUGGGGGGGGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jessica:)
BIG FAT SUPER DUPPER HUGGGGGGGGGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Jessica:)
Hi Jessica,
Glad to hear you are doing well and staying busy.Cotumes for Halloween.... My granddaughter is into Cosplay and Anime stuff,patricularly a character named Sasori (pron: sauce-ori) Its a male character with short red hair and he wears a long black cloak with red writing...and green nail polish. I am not all that familiar with this stuff but I try because I know she likes it. I had to order her costume from overseas,China I think..holy cow...interesting. From a place called Light-in-the-Box. You should check it out, very interesting. I also read some of their customer ratings..some not very happy but I personally had a decent interaction with them. At least I got what I ordered.LOL.
We got our first "rain" this morning.Boy did we need it altho it didnt last very long, nor was it heavy, even a bit chilly.I am looking forward to putting on our warm sheets.
If I didnt rave about these sheets last year let me do it now. You can find them at Bed,Bath and Beyond. They are by Berkshire and the material is called microloft. They are the most fabulous sheets I've ever slept on. When you feel them you will recognize the feel and when you sleep on them you may never sleep on anything else ever again. Seriously!! Check them out. They also make blankets and throws.With a 20% off coupon they offer even Cal-KIng sizes are not real expensive, like $50.
Well, I best get going. I have a million things to do. So Have a great day!!
Granny
Glad to hear you are doing well and staying busy.Cotumes for Halloween.... My granddaughter is into Cosplay and Anime stuff,patricularly a character named Sasori (pron: sauce-ori) Its a male character with short red hair and he wears a long black cloak with red writing...and green nail polish. I am not all that familiar with this stuff but I try because I know she likes it. I had to order her costume from overseas,China I think..holy cow...interesting. From a place called Light-in-the-Box. You should check it out, very interesting. I also read some of their customer ratings..some not very happy but I personally had a decent interaction with them. At least I got what I ordered.LOL.
We got our first "rain" this morning.Boy did we need it altho it didnt last very long, nor was it heavy, even a bit chilly.I am looking forward to putting on our warm sheets.
If I didnt rave about these sheets last year let me do it now. You can find them at Bed,Bath and Beyond. They are by Berkshire and the material is called microloft. They are the most fabulous sheets I've ever slept on. When you feel them you will recognize the feel and when you sleep on them you may never sleep on anything else ever again. Seriously!! Check them out. They also make blankets and throws.With a 20% off coupon they offer even Cal-KIng sizes are not real expensive, like $50.
Well, I best get going. I have a million things to do. So Have a great day!!
Granny
Zgirl
WOW-had now idea you are sick like that- -what a bad deal-
I myself have been tossed off pain management (again)- - I probably should get back to a klinic
Im on a dangerous road,,and I aint no spring chicken
please be careful
your friend
jack
,,,to be cont,d.....
WOW-had now idea you are sick like that- -what a bad deal-
I myself have been tossed off pain management (again)- - I probably should get back to a klinic
Im on a dangerous road,,and I aint no spring chicken
please be careful
your friend
jack
,,,to be cont,d.....
