Do Dr's Know Best?

Pain Pills
1
Evening all. I"m a little confused. Today is 52 days for me clean from the muscle relaxer soma. I stopped taking everything 52 days ago. No drinking no nuthin.

I went to the dr last week for a check up. I have a really bad back. Herniated discs. Its getting worse the pain is jumping down my leg now. She tells me its not realistic to think I will never take any pain pills ever again. That with a back as bad as mine I will have to take something eventually and probly will have to have surgery as well. She said if you just take them as prescribed.

Well duh doc. I CANT take them as described. This is why I'm an addict. I never really had a problem with anything but Soma, but a drug is a drug and I cant knowling and in good faith to myself start taking anything else. I know my addictive personality and I know it isnt possible. I'm doing acupuncture and it does help some but not nearly enough. Right now I'm having spasms beyond belief and I'm walking all hunced over like I"m 70. I'm only 35. I cant even straighen up because of the pain. I dont get this way often but when it happens, its ugly.

Anyone have an opinion on this? I've heard it said before, just because we are addicts doesnt mean we have to be matrys. But I feel like if I pick up that first pill no matter what it is, I'm lost again. At the same time, I have a very demanding job and I have to be able to run and be physical. I know what I dont want to do is start taking any pills again. She is the 2nd doctor to tell me that btw.

I have no idea what to do.

HELP

Kelly
2

Hey Kelly

Wow do I know what you mean. I ruptured a disc in my lower back. Was suppose to have surgery but I didn't go through with it. Every once in a while it pushes on a nerve and shoots pain down my leg. I can't drive more than an hour without getting out and walking around. I have trouble doing simple things sometimes. It comes and goes.

I was taking vicodin. A lot of them. Problem is I was taking them all the time. Even when I had no pain. Now I know I can never take a pain pill ever again. I know I've heard some here say that if you take them as prescribed then its OK. I just know I will never be able to do that.

I know everyone is different and I'm sure some can do it. I just know I can't. If I take even one I will not be able to stop. I take excedrin when I have pain. You know it actually works better than the vic's did.

Take care

Frank

3
Kelly,

have you ever stopped for some time and then taken as prescribed, by maybe someone giving them to you as needed??? i know your torn and i understand your confusion and pain...

Its a hard call...I could have a hundred thousand valium and they wouldnt interest me one bit....Last time i had some work done ( laser on skin) the Dr wanted to give me valium to relax and I absolutely refused...I hate the way they make me feel.......he almost didnt want to do it cus he was worried id be jumping around and moving...lol

So for ME....I dont have the belief that I cant take ANY PILL ANY TIME...I just know that i abused my painpilss and became addicted to them. i have to suffer the consequences of that and find my way out of it..........

12 step theory would state that you should absolutely not take anything, that 1 pill leads to many, that we have NO control whatsoever, once weve lost it.

PERSONALLY I do not believe that is true for EVERYBODY...certainly for some...I do not wear a label of an ADDICT, only wear a temporay one saying I am at present addicted to this specific pill......Does that mean i would abuse all
pills for the rest of my life?? I say no...

If a time came down the road, taking a pain pill would be absolutely the last resort...would I kill myself from the pain rather than take SOMETHING that relieves it? NO....but i would do everything in my power to put up all road blocks. Share my past addiction with a narcotic to the Dr.....have someone give it to me as needed, not have them around to abuse...


Its apersonal choice and one only you can make. Pain is personal, what one person can handle, another cannot.

I know you will make an informed and intelligent decision IF and when the time comes that you can not live with the pain anymore...

Hugs,

Ali
4
Try Toradol or Neurontin maybe for the pain...does Aleve do anything for you? Doctors certainly don't always know best. I am a nurse, I've seen them in action. Look at these two drugs, perhaps...the narcotics just make the pain worse over time, but I think you know that. I mean ask a doctor about these two drugs...maybe a new doctor? Good luck...the accupuncture is great as well. CAS.
5
Kelly, Pain pills mask your symptoms but will not cure your problem. Taking a pain pill is similiar to taking the battery out of a smoke detector in a burning house. The house is still burning but you just don't have to hear that obnoxious noise anymore. Try chiropractic and physical therapy together. Your problem is common and these two things work to eliminate the problem. You may not be cured but you could be eliminating the cause of the pain, and the need for painkillers. That being said, if it is necessary for you to take pills, have hubby dispense them for you. Hope you have been feeling better. I cut my sub to 8mg and it helped eliminate that awful afternoon "UGH" Take care, Atlas
6
Kelly, I can relate with the back problems and doctors trying to convince me that I would be on "something" for the rest of my life. I had back surgery and during the back surgery, the doctor cut the covering of my spinal cord. Never finish what he started. I was suppose to have laminectomies at L4-L5 and L5-S1. So I ended up with the dural tear, meningites and I still have the herniated discs. Will I go back. Heck NO. I can't take prednisone or NSAID's because my kidneys are shot. What I found that helps so much is the Lidocaine patches that go right on the spots that hurt, warm baths, exercising in the morning right out of bed and don't do the things that make my back hurt. When I drive, I take frequent breaks and I have learned to ask for help. During the flare ups, (severe muscle spasms) the doctor will order PT with Ultrasound and deep tissue message which hurts like heck but feels so goodafterwards. My mind can make the pain actually worse than it is when I am home thinking about it. I find if I get out and visit either family or freinds and go to more meetings and be around others, the pain seems to be less. We don't have to be martyrs. We do need to stay vigilant and ask others for help. I am in no way telling you do or don't do. Your condition may be totally different from what I went through. I just know this is what happened to me and this is how I have stayed on the road to recovery. And not only do I still have the herniated discs, now I have arthritis through out my spine. I have proved many doctors wrong. This was not my intention but it sure is a good feeling that they were wrong and I don't have to be on "something" for the rest of my life. Wishing you the best. Dawn
7
Dawn,

Great post, I am so sorry that you have such back problems....you sound so strong....Im going to look into that lidocaine patch...sounds like it must freeze thatspot...wonder if it works for bones too...

Again, great post and thanks for sharing your knowledge and experience.

Hugs,

Ali
8
Hey Kelly,
Is it realistic to another Doctor who understands addiction. There are alternative meds you can take and should be looked into. This early on its a tough call. Your Doc just seems to willing to cater to what you need.
Im sorry you have to go through this. It sucks I know. I have a grade 3 shift in my lower back and some days no feeling in my leg. Its been good lately but I do have bad days and all I can do is get it out of my head. Pills did make my pain worse. I was in pain every day while using. Now that I'm clean the pain is hardly there. Hang in there Kelly, One day At A Time.

Ali?



Ali?



Keeeeeeeeeep comin' back!

Ben
9
Ali,
Just a small correction. It seems you have mis-interpreted the steps again. Your lack of understanding may be a barrier to your willingness...Just a thought!
The '12 step theory' that you refer too is actually the opposite of your belief again. We lost our power of choice once we became addicted. Once we got clean and sober and the stuff out of our system the choice was in our control again. Our drugs took our choice, the steps gave that choice back. Make sense? today I have the ability and choice to say NO.

KEEEEEEEEEEEP COOOMNG BACK!

Hugs sistah,
Ben
10
Ben,

I read what you wrote...3 times...

If that is the case that is great, but i keep getting the feeling that a 12 step program is VERY against the use of ANY drugs whatsoever....

I get that idea by the talk and actions of others that are into their meetings, and the way that A LOT judge others whom make a different CHOICE than they did

NOT EVERYONE< NOT YOU FOR SURE...BUT A LOT.....

Dont like that word "again" Ben...dont think that AGAIN ive misUNDERSTOOD

the steps...maybe the program...but I will withold my final opinion on that for

now...I have had many opinions change of late regarding the program...

Thanks Ben,

Hugs,


Ali
11
Ali,
What is wrong with the word 'Again'? Its a fricking word! I HATE the word 'Spillway' for some reason myself, LMAO its a weird one!

Your opinions on the people in 12 steps and the steps themselves are formed from online forums. you cannot see peoples eyes when you communicate here Ali. Eye contact is a must for effective communication. Online recovery is sugars and creams the face to face is coffee streight up black.
It doesnt say anywhere in any twelve step program about NOT using ANY drugs. I still shoot up smack, that has never been a problem. I hope your opinions were not formed at only two meetings that you went to. Its best to hold judgement and analysis of the steps until you learn more about them.
I would wish the action of theses steps on all. Its an experience that ought not be missed. I dont get why anyone would deny themselves the opportunity to grow along theses spiritual principles. Its really a great program
I DO know a few 12 steppers that have to take narcotics regularly. They do so as prescribed and they can becauyse the power was returned to them via the 12 steps and THE spiritual awakening had as the result. That is not realistic to say that NEVER will I take... Once thats said its a shory ride down to the next use.
does that explain it? The steps does NOT leave us an 'out' so that we may use recreationally....No that is for sure!


i WAS KIDDING ABOUT THE SMACK TOO! i AM CLEAN FROM ALL CHEMICALS! LMAO!!!
Ben
12
Kelly,
How are you feeling today? I hope things ease up a bit. You are a commited women with a big heart! Have you tried physical threrapy? That worked forme and now I do that at home.
Hugs,
ben
13
hi all.. feeling a little better today. I'm walking a little straighter. Got a good massage last night and went to bed with the heating pad. It still hurts pretty bad but i'm trying to distract myself. I'm about to hit a hot shower then go x mas shopping. I called my doc this morning, she is going to research and try and find some medication that addicts can take. Besides ibuprofen. She is supposed to get back to me. Right now, today, I feel firm in my recovery. Today I wont pick up a pill. I will worry about tomorrow when tomorrow becomes today.

Hugs
Kelly
14
Hey Kelly - I know how you feel. Unfortuntately, I don't get that feeling that if I take something, I'm lost. I ONLY take if I absolutely have to. I control THAT part by giving those pills to my wife. And THAT is my safety net. That and getting my butt to the gym and occupying my time. Maybe if you could trust the pills to someone who wouldn't let you have them unless absolutely necessary, you could pull it off till surgery or PT can work?
15
Really Ben???

I thought you were dead seriously about shooting smack...

(whatever that is...lolol) Your right, my opinion IS based on an online forum.

Good point. Well taken.

Hugs,

Ali