As I sit here reading posts my heart aches! How do I show you that there is life without pain killers?How do I convince you that you can live happily wthout them too?
Okay....first...addiction has nothing to do with drugs! It took me awhile,but I finally grasped the concept that drugs were not my problem.I was the problem and I used drugs to cope.I call it coping but in reality it was numbing so I didn't have to cope,because if I would of had good coping skills I wouldn't of felt the need to escape.
You see...I also had a problem with depression.Not too serious in the beginning,but circumstances like...chronic pain...being fired from my job due to back problems...lawsuit against my employer...bankruptcy...tension at home...wifes affairs...working 3 jobs...divorce...all in a matter of about a year and a half,sent me off the big end!
I found my Oxycontin could let me escape and not deal with what was happening.What I didn't realize was that it wouldn't be long and the Oxycontin would add to that list of problems,bringing a miriad of problems of it's own into my life.
Now since I didn't know how to cope with things I did everything in my power to hang on to those Oxycontins.I lied..I stole..I doctor shopped...I changed numbers of pills on scripts..I forged scripts..I hated myself!! but I thought if I didn't have them I would go crazy...literally.
Between all of the Oxycontin I was taking daily and my depression I did wind up in a hospital for the criminally insane.I truly believe that was my first taste of recovery,I just didn't realize it at the time.
within a few years I was put in rehab(twice)I saw the inside of many psych wards and many psychiatrists and therapist.I took tons of different pills that were suppose to help me,and I wanted so badly for all of this to work,but it didn't.
It was some time later when I realized that there was'nt a magic cure,and there was no one that was going to make me better.Which was good,because it was then I realized that I was the one responsible to make myself feel better.I was the one that had to figure out how to cope.I was the one that had to make the changes.
I made the decision to give in.God knows I tried to deal with life my way and it sure was'nt working.I got on my knees and I prayed.I gave my life to Jesus Christ.I started living for something other than myself.I gave of myself to my children,my family,my friends,and eventually to other suffering addicts,and of course to my Lord and Savior.
As time has passed I have gotten stronger,I have more patients,I'm grateful,I'm very positive,I am content and I so enjoy my life!
Some may call me very religious,I certainly don't mind.I am very happy with my relationship with God.It's just that my relationship has to do with going to Sunday school and church and reading my Bible.That is how I strengthen my bond with God.I don't push my beliefs on anyone.If someone can enjoy and be so satisfied with God without all that,who am I to judge.
I pray for this board daily.I pray I have been able to offer hope to anyone who comes here.Sorry about the title,I thought more would read it this way.
God Bless
Kevin
Yup - you definitely got me to read it! It is so helpful to read about success stories like yours. I am fairly new to the board, and I was thinking the other day that I'll bet lots of people who have gone through the struggle (using this board as part of their support) came out clean on the other end and then may leave the board for various reasons, and not be there to encourage the newcomers. I appreciate so much those of you who have stayed to help us.
Thank you so much for doing that for us. I am still struggling but I know people have succeeded and that gives me much-needed hope and inspiration.
ENester....
Thank you so much for doing that for us. I am still struggling but I know people have succeeded and that gives me much-needed hope and inspiration.
ENester....
Bish, as usual you have imparted some good wisdom. I wish I could get away from the funk i'm in, you have given me some valuable things to think about.
Hi again, Kevin. I only have a minute, of course, but I just wanted to tell you that everytime I feel like I can't do it, I do think of you and your story that you posted several months back.
You are an awesome, awesome man. And a miracle.
I'll get an email off to you sometime this week.
Take care.
Love,
Jodi
You are an awesome, awesome man. And a miracle.
I'll get an email off to you sometime this week.
Take care.
Love,
Jodi
Hi Janet & Jodi...
Always good to hear from you! I pray for you both.Recovery isn't easy,but it can become so rewarding.I hope you find the stregth and courage to keep moving forward.
Jodi...I so look forward to your email.
Kevin
Always good to hear from you! I pray for you both.Recovery isn't easy,but it can become so rewarding.I hope you find the stregth and courage to keep moving forward.
Jodi...I so look forward to your email.
Kevin
Kevin:
That was a story with a beautiful ending. I hope it will help others know that there is always hope b/c of the horrible stuff that you went through and came out on the other side - I know along with God's help.
Love, Jean
That was a story with a beautiful ending. I hope it will help others know that there is always hope b/c of the horrible stuff that you went through and came out on the other side - I know along with God's help.
Love, Jean
I love you Kevin. Thank you for my tears tonight.
Lisa
Lisa
thankyou it was just what i need,ed to read this morning, i am strugling so mush this morning, tomorou, my husbean lives for that narconon, and im realy scaerd for him and myself, can i do this, say a prayer for me thanks karen.
