Does anybody here see a future?
I mean do ya look forward?
Do you have any notion at all what the future may bring or what you want for it and in it? How far ahead ya looking?
Understandably, you all with kids.........little kids.........I'm certain ya see a future for THEM, but does it include yourself?
In therapy she asked me that today. I was speechless. I had no answer.
I guess I don't. Well, not even a guess. I don't. I just don't.
I'm not living. I'm exisiting. For what? She then asked if when I was using did I see one? I said immediately "Oh yeah I sure did. My future heroin. My next bag. My brilliant high. How am I gonna finance it. Will it be a good bag?"
On and on. Heroin gave to me a future. Ironic. Now I don't see one period.
I used to look forward. I saw myself doing the job I am doing now. I love my work. Do I look forward now? The answer is no. I do sometimes look to owning a small place on a quiet lake (are there any of those anymore). The only way may be buy the land and put my own small lake/pond in.
So I followed my dream from a younger age and didn't let the Carter years prevent me from eventually getting there. But I kept making steps back then to get where I am now. This is making me think now Bryn. If I want that place on the lake, the only way to do it is start making the steps.
Also if the dream is big, small steps (baby steps to the bus) is the way to achieve the goals. Big dreams can't be reached in one step. So you look for stepping stones and keep your eye on the prize. If you can't get there in one step, you can't get discouraged and give up your goals and dreams.
Nice thought provoking topic Bryn. Of course that is why you where asked the question.
So I followed my dream from a younger age and didn't let the Carter years prevent me from eventually getting there. But I kept making steps back then to get where I am now. This is making me think now Bryn. If I want that place on the lake, the only way to do it is start making the steps.
Also if the dream is big, small steps (baby steps to the bus) is the way to achieve the goals. Big dreams can't be reached in one step. So you look for stepping stones and keep your eye on the prize. If you can't get there in one step, you can't get discouraged and give up your goals and dreams.
Nice thought provoking topic Bryn. Of course that is why you where asked the question.
I always look to far ahead and try to think of the future instead of concentrating on the present...today. I guess I would love to know what is around the corner and I suppose thats why I am addicted to spriritualists. They told me I would be getting a house soon and yip I did. I dont like to trust what they say to much and go building my hopes up but I suppose when they tell me something that I want to hear then yes I do get a little excited.
I would like to wish that my future was going to be all good and happy but I know that that aint life and I know am gonna get plenty more rough times ahead so all I ask for is a happy life and health and happiness for my daughter.
I hope to get a part time job soon and hopefully be settled into my new home but apart from that I just want a normal life and I will just go with the flow and tackle anything life throws at me!!
Good question by the way Bryn xx
I would like to wish that my future was going to be all good and happy but I know that that aint life and I know am gonna get plenty more rough times ahead so all I ask for is a happy life and health and happiness for my daughter.
I hope to get a part time job soon and hopefully be settled into my new home but apart from that I just want a normal life and I will just go with the flow and tackle anything life throws at me!!
Good question by the way Bryn xx
You know i use to feel that EXACT way: part of why it was so hard to stop. EVERYDAY there was something to do... SCORE. Like Diff pointed out that's as fun as watching grass grow, i well remember the car with 3-4 addicts freezing cold or hot as he*l waiting on the man everyone gaging sick. There is not future in herion. Still it did give purpose to life a real drive, nothing as motivated as the sick addict. In fact i never was a morning person till i started using. Using i was up ready to roll before withdraw kicked in.
Then the methadone clinic i was there to dose by 6am to advoid the lines. I use to get so scared i'ld not get a ride methadone withdraw makes h withdraw look like the sniffles. That gave me a furture something that had to be done.
I do get where your coming from.
As of current i'm trying to plan something to look forword to. I acually today am going to a open meeting at the local college to look into starting school to get a LPN "NURSING" degree. Class won't be till january i have to get my Financial aid ready. Not sure i will go or even if i can pass the entrence exam "i suck at math" BUT, i've got a lil something going on. It is importnant to fill your life with things that keep the mind buzy. PROVEN fact it's bad for your brain to be idle. Both my parents are strong belivers in if you don't use it you lose it you brain needs challenge to learn and grow. I know your not much into books but books are all important.
Bryn you just need a find sumtin to do. I know it sounds lame, Volunteer to do stuff when i was like 15 i use to walk dogs for the SPCA animal shelter. I love dogs those dogs need people. Most places want extra help. No money to be made in it but, it's important.
Then the methadone clinic i was there to dose by 6am to advoid the lines. I use to get so scared i'ld not get a ride methadone withdraw makes h withdraw look like the sniffles. That gave me a furture something that had to be done.
I do get where your coming from.
As of current i'm trying to plan something to look forword to. I acually today am going to a open meeting at the local college to look into starting school to get a LPN "NURSING" degree. Class won't be till january i have to get my Financial aid ready. Not sure i will go or even if i can pass the entrence exam "i suck at math" BUT, i've got a lil something going on. It is importnant to fill your life with things that keep the mind buzy. PROVEN fact it's bad for your brain to be idle. Both my parents are strong belivers in if you don't use it you lose it you brain needs challenge to learn and grow. I know your not much into books but books are all important.
Bryn you just need a find sumtin to do. I know it sounds lame, Volunteer to do stuff when i was like 15 i use to walk dogs for the SPCA animal shelter. I love dogs those dogs need people. Most places want extra help. No money to be made in it but, it's important.
had to share this i thought it was funny. I told Rob i don't know WHY you would need to pass a math exam to go to nursing school. He say's what if you need to know what a cc is? lol i told him yeah i know the answer to that one.
sometimes i look into and think about my future but when i do that it just scares me!! You just don't know what is round the corner, do you? I don't know what life is gonna throw at me so i don't make plans.....well not long term plans.
"truth be told the truth be told, i worry 'what the future holds, the future holds"
(the hoosiers)
"truth be told the truth be told, i worry 'what the future holds, the future holds"
(the hoosiers)
Hi Bryn, when I was using, I used to fantasize about a future without heroin. Ya know, all the things I'd do if I wasn't a junkie. But now I don't think too much about it. I'm too busy living in the present to think much about the future. I know that I'm very lucky in that respect. I had a dark few months when I first went onto subs, but my life just went bananas when I met my boyfriend. Life with him can be traumatic and scary, but it sure as hell ain't dull. I'm now moving house again, for the third time in two years. That's produced a few explosive rows in itself - got kicked to the floor last night and had a can of beer thrown in my face. But I've got my keys, my beautiful, sacred keys. The house ain't fit to be lived in yet - the housing officer is still arguing with the builders, coz they're lazy tight f***ers and they are refusing to strip the walls, but the housing officer told me not to worry, he'd sort it.
So the future? right now I feel I'm kinda on the brink of something big. A proper home, where my little girl is gonna come bouncing through the door after a day at school (in a few years, like, she's only 4 months old - she gotta learn to walk and talk first!). A place where I can hang my pictures, polish my furniture and light my candles. Where me and my baby can be safe and secure. Incidently, I told my boyfriend if he EVER pulls more stunts like last night when he's on my territory, he's gonna be carted off in a black mariah wearing handcuffs, so he'd better get a grip or it's bye bye baby bye bye.
Oh boy, I am looking forward to it...
love
Diff xxxxx
ps. chin up chicken, there's something good looking for you-. I know about these things...
So the future? right now I feel I'm kinda on the brink of something big. A proper home, where my little girl is gonna come bouncing through the door after a day at school (in a few years, like, she's only 4 months old - she gotta learn to walk and talk first!). A place where I can hang my pictures, polish my furniture and light my candles. Where me and my baby can be safe and secure. Incidently, I told my boyfriend if he EVER pulls more stunts like last night when he's on my territory, he's gonna be carted off in a black mariah wearing handcuffs, so he'd better get a grip or it's bye bye baby bye bye.
Oh boy, I am looking forward to it...
love
Diff xxxxx
ps. chin up chicken, there's something good looking for you-. I know about these things...
You know what just struck me? It was the difference in Bunny's answer to the rest...and mine would probably sound like Bunny's...I'm always thinking about the future...worrying about what might be and fantasising about what I'd like to happen. But maybe...that's why relationships between addicts and non-addicts are hard (well one of the many reasons!!!)...we have a different outlook? My guy once told me he couldn't see how we could have a future...but I think he finds it hard to see that he has a future at all...whereas me? My future is bright...
Good post Bryn...very thought-provoking!
Maddy x
Good post Bryn...very thought-provoking!
Maddy x
See Maddy my bloke insists that without me he has nothing and needs me in his future. I dont need him though. I choose to be with him for now!!
I noticed everyone elses replies were different to mine...lol. Suppose one of the good things about being a heroin addict is you dont worry about the future!! Infact you dont really worry at all eh?
If only. I am so curious about heroin although I would never ever touch it I think could it really be that good to block out everything and what would it feel like to not have a care in the world. I suppose that cant always be good cos all the loved ones dont matter as much as you would like them to!!
I noticed everyone elses replies were different to mine...lol. Suppose one of the good things about being a heroin addict is you dont worry about the future!! Infact you dont really worry at all eh?
If only. I am so curious about heroin although I would never ever touch it I think could it really be that good to block out everything and what would it feel like to not have a care in the world. I suppose that cant always be good cos all the loved ones dont matter as much as you would like them to!!
Look to thr future? well, at my age, the future is knocking on my door lol
I think about the coming years, but don't dwell too much on what might be.
This past year dealing with my daughter's addiction made me realize that nothing is set in stone, and any day can start out great, and in a blink of the eye, can change into a day of hell.
I'm so grateful for every day that is spent with my husband who is the rock I lean on, and for every day that my daughter seems to be moving ahead with her life, I let the future take care of itself.
What will be will be, as the old song says.
I just hope that whatever comes, I'll be able to deal with it, and enjoy the good things, and get through the bad things.
rita
I think about the coming years, but don't dwell too much on what might be.
This past year dealing with my daughter's addiction made me realize that nothing is set in stone, and any day can start out great, and in a blink of the eye, can change into a day of hell.
I'm so grateful for every day that is spent with my husband who is the rock I lean on, and for every day that my daughter seems to be moving ahead with her life, I let the future take care of itself.
What will be will be, as the old song says.
I just hope that whatever comes, I'll be able to deal with it, and enjoy the good things, and get through the bad things.
rita
thats my girl........ever so thought provoking........hmmm.........do i see a future ??.i read this more as do i have hopes and dreams, aspirations ??.......what i do is survive........keep trying to do the next right thing....hoping I can remain strong and care for my family the best i can.....I dream someday of things not being so damn hard.......dream of days when I dont constantly worry, about money, my children etc........but mainly I just survive day to day...........but what i do have is hope, hope that things will get better........easier...........didnt really answer this did I ?
I know like bunnyrocker, i used to project ahead.........borry worries from tomorrow and i do my best not to do that anymore.if anything my addiction has taught me to live in the day.........because its really all we have........
I know like bunnyrocker, i used to project ahead.........borry worries from tomorrow and i do my best not to do that anymore.if anything my addiction has taught me to live in the day.........because its really all we have........
According to a massive United Nations environmental study , the planet is poised on a precipice, and time is running out for making tough political and economic choices that can pull it back from disaster.
"The choices made today are critical for the forests, oceans, rivers, mountains, and other life-support systems upon which current and future generations depend," said Klaus Toepfer, executive director of the U.N. Environment Program (UNEP), based in Nairobi, Kenya.
"Fundamental changes are possible and required," he added. "It would be a disaster to sit back and ignore the picture that is painted."
- published in the Toronto Star-2006----
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So yes, I think about the future. Only in broader & more lasting terms. The future for our children and our children's -children.
We really are only around on this planet for a short time. Of course we should work toward doing our best to make it comfortable. We also should be thinking about what we will be leaving the next generation to deal with.
I try not to think to far down the line. I think your future is made by decisions and actions made each day.
To dream of a wonderful future is normal and our right. To make it happen, takes the right daily decisions & choices. To learn from our mistakes, to take chances, and to plan realistically ,so not to be disappointed.
Sorry if this sounds like a public service announcement,
I should really start to practice more of what I preach.
peace,
jack
When I was using I didn't think to the future coz it scared me, I would block it out, But now I have so much to look forward to, everyday I think about the future.
I have three beautiful children to watch grow. School holidays have just started and they had school reports and parents evening, my son got all A's and his teacher said he is above average for his age! Fantastic!
My daughter has impressed me loads with her behaviour since I had the baby, she's grown up loads and has been helping around the house.
I have a newborn baby who is changing every minute and I'm getting married next year.
I feel now like I am a good person after all and I do have people who rely and love me.
I have a bright future to look forward to.
I have three beautiful children to watch grow. School holidays have just started and they had school reports and parents evening, my son got all A's and his teacher said he is above average for his age! Fantastic!
My daughter has impressed me loads with her behaviour since I had the baby, she's grown up loads and has been helping around the house.
I have a newborn baby who is changing every minute and I'm getting married next year.
I feel now like I am a good person after all and I do have people who rely and love me.
I have a bright future to look forward to.
Kymbo, your post made my night :o)
..I see a future,but wot kinda future i dunno ?..we all know that our days are lived by the corners we turn ?..we dunno wots round one corner to the next..but it's good to have sum kinda focus on wot ya wanna do in life..its a very fine line between active use or being clean..so its wise to tread carefully along the way..
but i think people have to have sumthing in life to focus on regarding their future..
otherwise they'll just sit and dwell on the past and feel sorry for themselves on wot their life was like ?..i can see my son having a good future (hopefully ?)..so if i can get myself a contented life (no one lives pure happiness in life)..then maybe my past will be my past and my future will be ok..take care bryn..
Robbie..
but i think people have to have sumthing in life to focus on regarding their future..
otherwise they'll just sit and dwell on the past and feel sorry for themselves on wot their life was like ?..i can see my son having a good future (hopefully ?)..so if i can get myself a contented life (no one lives pure happiness in life)..then maybe my past will be my past and my future will be ok..take care bryn..
Robbie..
well my answer would look alot like tres's. I want to go to school i want my own home. Right now when i think about the future and all my dreams i get depressed as all h*ll. The place i live i have to hand over all my $-literally sign over my check, im looking for a place to go but im not feeling ver optimitic-you have to have $ to do anything and i f i refuse to give it all up ill be kicked out--anyway im in a dark moon these days thats why im not posting like i was--the future --man i just canno produce for that one--too painfull i guess-- iknow how things would be in a perfect world but just not seeing that happenening--i know i have to work for it and cannot expect everthing right now and ive been working my butt off but everyday im here im only incurring more debt which gets me farther from my goals--i wih i had a better perspective-like some others i am gratefull for:
my sons smile
food and shelter
my family
this website
friends in recovery
health
not using a needle anymore
the sun the moon and the stars
good people ill be meeting and have met
my sons smile
food and shelter
my family
this website
friends in recovery
health
not using a needle anymore
the sun the moon and the stars
good people ill be meeting and have met
Thanks Believer...whenever I feel s***ty,and feel like maybe I should just get high coz I would feel a whole lot better...I think of my children and instead of feeling guilty about what I have done in the past,I think that actually I have done quite well in bringing them up....always changes my mind
