Does a crack addict ever stop? How do u ever trust ONE? I dont and wont ever feel the same about my husband that i found out is a crack user. I really dont even think i love him for putting me through all of this and the kids. When i have to hide my purse from him and close bank accounts, and watch his behavior change, do u really thing hes thinking about loving you?
sick about it,
I want to believe that they still care for us and especially their kids. But in my experience, the love of crack was far more important than the love of another human. These people who were once warm, loving and caring turn into zombies, the walking dead without souls, feelings or emotions. It's like our loved ones have died and something that is pure evil is using their bodies and their voices. I use to look my ex in the eyes, looking for any sign that he was still in there, but sadly he was gone. I have been grieving over his "death" for many years, he is gone, but his body still walks this earth (at least it's behind bars). He is a 20 year crack addict, he had a child with a crackwh*re 3 years ago, they smoked lots and lots of crack everyday while she was pregnant. How could anyone that is "alive" poison their own child?
I want to believe that they still care for us and especially their kids. But in my experience, the love of crack was far more important than the love of another human. These people who were once warm, loving and caring turn into zombies, the walking dead without souls, feelings or emotions. It's like our loved ones have died and something that is pure evil is using their bodies and their voices. I use to look my ex in the eyes, looking for any sign that he was still in there, but sadly he was gone. I have been grieving over his "death" for many years, he is gone, but his body still walks this earth (at least it's behind bars). He is a 20 year crack addict, he had a child with a crackwh*re 3 years ago, they smoked lots and lots of crack everyday while she was pregnant. How could anyone that is "alive" poison their own child?
HI Kate,
I just dont understand any of it. Did you leave your husband?
I just dont understand any of it. Did you leave your husband?
sick about it,
He was a boyfriend, my soulmate, the love of my life, my heart. We talked about marriage, kids, family. But, yeah he dumped me 3 years ago, for a crackwh*re. I haven't seen him since than, he's been in and out of prison, we talk a couple of times a year. And when he's in we write, we fight, we say horrible things to each other, we make up, we love, we fight we say horrible things to each other over and over. We just started writing a week ago again, against my better judgement. His dad asked me to help him, I love his dad, wish he was mine. Found out 3 days ago when he gets out of prison he plans on going back to the wh*re, the life, the drug. He's waiting for a letter. I had a stamp made up "Return to Sender/Not at this Address". When he writes he's getting the stamp. Blocking my phone. Changing my cell. The situation is hopeless. And yeah, he will always have my heart. Guess I'm being a little sentimental tonight, must be PMS. (LOL)
He was a boyfriend, my soulmate, the love of my life, my heart. We talked about marriage, kids, family. But, yeah he dumped me 3 years ago, for a crackwh*re. I haven't seen him since than, he's been in and out of prison, we talk a couple of times a year. And when he's in we write, we fight, we say horrible things to each other, we make up, we love, we fight we say horrible things to each other over and over. We just started writing a week ago again, against my better judgement. His dad asked me to help him, I love his dad, wish he was mine. Found out 3 days ago when he gets out of prison he plans on going back to the wh*re, the life, the drug. He's waiting for a letter. I had a stamp made up "Return to Sender/Not at this Address". When he writes he's getting the stamp. Blocking my phone. Changing my cell. The situation is hopeless. And yeah, he will always have my heart. Guess I'm being a little sentimental tonight, must be PMS. (LOL)
I think your doing the right thing, you sound like a sweet person and theres someone out there that will appreciate you more then he ever did ,you deserve it like all the rest of us.. I know im not going to put up with it much longer, i have kids and thats the most important thing to me. I kicked him out a few times and omg what a relief it was i had the best nites sleep. Then he shows back up, i guess the only way to get him out of here is to call the cops. or his father. You stay strong and move on dont let him turn things around for u.
I've hidden money (he borrowed it), closed accounts (he sweet talked the teller into giving the new account information) and done anything and everything you could think of to stop "enabling" my husband and his crack addiction. I know that this is a living hell for you and I can honestly say that I am so sorry you are going through this. I just wanted to run a few things past you - if you can, try to hate the disease and not the man. There is no way to justify what he has done to you, but you can bet that he is miserable and desperate about what he has become. He may never be able to articulate that to you, but I have heard this time and time again from recovering addicts - one being my husband. Also if you can - try to remember that you need to take care of yourself - not just he kids - not just him. Think about anything big or small that will help ease the pain for you. Some of the recovery/daily meditation books are really a good way to start on that. PLEASE also accept help in any form it is offered. We are good martyrs, but we needn't be the bearers of the weight of the world (at least not all the time). I will be praying for you and your family. You are not alone.
Josi
Josi
Thank you Josi, I appreciate your reply, im just so thankful there others out here i can talk to about this, i have kept this bottled up for awhile and thought i was going to loose my mind if i didnt say something about it. My prayers are also with you, theres not been a night i havent prayed for god to help these people with this illness, i honestly believe thats what it is.. I havent gave up hope yet, and i have to believe this has to stop.
