I poured out all the drink I had left. I just poured it right down the sink in front of my mum. It felt really good actually... I'm not regretting it at all. There's no anxiety (yet) although I do expect it at some point, I'm gonna try so hard this time... I have a flask of tea instead LOL and Coronation Street tonight... !
Anyways, day one... although I don't intend to count them all I just want a new start without booze... I don't want it and I don't need it. It's vile stuff...
Thanks,
Izzy
Izzy, you are going from strength to strength. I am so happy for you, I really am. If you get anxious remember it's JUST a feeling....when I had a full-blown panic attack I leapt off the sofa as if I was in mortal danger....but I wasn't...it's JUST a feeling...if you can look at it like that, feel it and recognise it for a funny feeling in your tummy or however it feels for you, then that's all it is, a funny feeling in your tummy attached to NOTHING whatsoever in the real world. Take a good look around and focus on something you like in the room, really LOOK at it, close up, notice what you've never noticed before, colours, textures, smells, shades, cracks, chips...describe them all out loud to yourself....and before you know it your attention is on what's real.
What's real is your intelligence, wisdom and strength. One day, one hour one minute at a time we build our world. Yours is going to be beautiful Izzy, because you are beautiful.
Much love,
Martin
What's real is your intelligence, wisdom and strength. One day, one hour one minute at a time we build our world. Yours is going to be beautiful Izzy, because you are beautiful.
Much love,
Martin
Right on Izzy!
Every step we take to rid ourselves of unhealthy and negative substances and attitudes is a step into the right direction. Any and all steps forward are advances into the light, taking us further from the darkness. Thats the way Izzy. You work it girl. Positive action leads to healthy solutions!
Remember you are Worth It! We Love You!
Every step we take to rid ourselves of unhealthy and negative substances and attitudes is a step into the right direction. Any and all steps forward are advances into the light, taking us further from the darkness. Thats the way Izzy. You work it girl. Positive action leads to healthy solutions!
Remember you are Worth It! We Love You!
Gosh, this reminds me of all the beer I threw out in the morning and by 5:00pm I was back to the convenience store to buy more...Literally, every day I probably threw away at least 1/4 of what I bought the night before (because I stocked up...God forbid I get a buzz and then not have enough to get me good and loaded)! Thank you for reminding me of the insanity.
I am proud of you for setting forth your intention through action! :)
Hugs.
I am proud of you for setting forth your intention through action! :)
Hugs.
I did that to Zipper many times. But, I also did and found some sobriety time too.
Congrats Izzy so proud of you. the last thing I flushed was half a flask of whiskey. I was loaded drunk when I did and talking to a man on the phone who I never met before but who is now my sponsor.A little advice. have sweets on hand and watch out for products containing alcholol (mouthwash,some toothpaste, chocolates,food) read the labels. Welcome to the journey! Good luck and hang on no matter how bumpy the ride gets. Glad to have you on board.Take care ((((( )))))
Hi Izzy,
Everyone one of your posts lately are getting more and more positive. It's just great to see your progress. Keep up the good work girlfriend! :-)
Your Friend, Valarie
Everyone one of your posts lately are getting more and more positive. It's just great to see your progress. Keep up the good work girlfriend! :-)
Your Friend, Valarie
What Valarie said.
Thanks for all the positives... I needed that after the day I've had.
I went to this day out with my mum and the Minister and his wife, it was like a load of religious seminars and worship (I kind of shied away from all that) people came from all over the country and from abroad to come and see these people talk etc... anyway we had a nice picnic which I meticulously prepared for all of us. That went down well and I attended a seminar which I enjoyed... I took my little Steiff horse which I carried about with me all day as I'm not very good with big crowds of people, nobody batted an eyelid... anyway, all was well til my mum and I got back in the house.
She took off her jacket and her arms were covered in bruises, I knew she'd been punching herself again so I burst into tears after she shouted at me to stop asking what was the matter... I put on my shoes instantly and headed for the door, she came after me and tried to talk to me coz she knew I was heading for the shop... I ended up going but I had no intention of buying alcohol and I didn't, but I bought cigarettes instead I just needed a release... I just knew then that I had better steer well clear of any people I know who take drugs because I would have went and gotten high instead of drinking, I can't cope with my emotions... I'd forgotten that in like two days... just then I could have taken anything to make myself feel better...
I just feel like it's one thing after another, at least when I cut myself I cover it up... she just flaunted it in my face and I knew what she'd been doing because I've caught her doing it before. She said she keeps banging into things... yeah like her own fist...
I can't cope with her and me... I'm trying so hard, day two sober... she just keeps everything from me and I never know what's wrong or why she does it and that f***ing annoys me coz I'm left wondering the whole time...
Anyway, I'm really tired...
Thanks,
Izzy
I went to this day out with my mum and the Minister and his wife, it was like a load of religious seminars and worship (I kind of shied away from all that) people came from all over the country and from abroad to come and see these people talk etc... anyway we had a nice picnic which I meticulously prepared for all of us. That went down well and I attended a seminar which I enjoyed... I took my little Steiff horse which I carried about with me all day as I'm not very good with big crowds of people, nobody batted an eyelid... anyway, all was well til my mum and I got back in the house.
She took off her jacket and her arms were covered in bruises, I knew she'd been punching herself again so I burst into tears after she shouted at me to stop asking what was the matter... I put on my shoes instantly and headed for the door, she came after me and tried to talk to me coz she knew I was heading for the shop... I ended up going but I had no intention of buying alcohol and I didn't, but I bought cigarettes instead I just needed a release... I just knew then that I had better steer well clear of any people I know who take drugs because I would have went and gotten high instead of drinking, I can't cope with my emotions... I'd forgotten that in like two days... just then I could have taken anything to make myself feel better...
I just feel like it's one thing after another, at least when I cut myself I cover it up... she just flaunted it in my face and I knew what she'd been doing because I've caught her doing it before. She said she keeps banging into things... yeah like her own fist...
I can't cope with her and me... I'm trying so hard, day two sober... she just keeps everything from me and I never know what's wrong or why she does it and that f***ing annoys me coz I'm left wondering the whole time...
Anyway, I'm really tired...
Thanks,
Izzy
Hi Izzy
The easiest people to hurt are the ones i love and hate in my familie and these emotions can change as instantaneous as the flick of a switch and in early recovery i was all over the place emotionally
When you start changing and the ones around you are stuck in the same old same old it can get frustrating and you need to pause and think about all that is happening and then let it go....which is where a higher power is handy and could you hand it over via the comfort you find in the horse you carried around?
Skg posted a good post on change in Pirates thread
Your Mum and you are alike obviously in the self hurting areas and when you each hurt each other via what you each see happening this causes an outburst but as i read i think that it is what each of you starts thinking in your heads and not communicating about that cause more damage because that is when the bruising and in the past the cutting happens or drinking
I may be wrong and Izzy you are doing so well maybe just maybe as you move on and sort these areas out in your life your Mum may see that there are other options open and i know this is future thinking etc but who knows
Look after you Izzy:)
light and love Zac
The easiest people to hurt are the ones i love and hate in my familie and these emotions can change as instantaneous as the flick of a switch and in early recovery i was all over the place emotionally
When you start changing and the ones around you are stuck in the same old same old it can get frustrating and you need to pause and think about all that is happening and then let it go....which is where a higher power is handy and could you hand it over via the comfort you find in the horse you carried around?
Skg posted a good post on change in Pirates thread
Your Mum and you are alike obviously in the self hurting areas and when you each hurt each other via what you each see happening this causes an outburst but as i read i think that it is what each of you starts thinking in your heads and not communicating about that cause more damage because that is when the bruising and in the past the cutting happens or drinking
I may be wrong and Izzy you are doing so well maybe just maybe as you move on and sort these areas out in your life your Mum may see that there are other options open and i know this is future thinking etc but who knows
Look after you Izzy:)
light and love Zac
Hi Izzy I am tired too actually I had just said it on my post,so for now I will give you hugs and sending love your way. Take care girl and stay safe
Izzy, you are doing so well....go listen to that quiet part of you, that very best shining you and do the next right thing, the next thing that is gong to take Izzy forward into the light and love of the life she truly deserves.
And don't forget we're just over here, on the Families and Partners board for you as well....
Much love and respect,
Martin
And don't forget we're just over here, on the Families and Partners board for you as well....
Much love and respect,
Martin
Good morning to you Izzy. I hope your day is a good one filled with positive experiences and know that your friends are always here for you .Give your lil doggie smooches and hugs for me. Have a great day and take time for you Izzy. ....((((( )))))
Hi all... still sober and not stressing at all!
One thing, I noticed the first night I didn't drink I could smell it all night even though I didn't have any bottles lying around anywhere... anyone had that too? I felt like the stuff was sweating out of me... gross...
I'm not letting the thing with my mum get to me. I told her how it made me feel and she said she just didn't want to talk about things right at that moment which I accepted...
I've noticed I'm eating more healthily, even the past few days, before I couldn't get anything down before 4pm, now I'm having breakfast and lunch, I'm feeling really good actually... scrambled eggs on wholemeal toast... I never knew I could get so excited about eating again! Lol...
Anyway, I'll keep you all updated!
Thanks,
Izzy
One thing, I noticed the first night I didn't drink I could smell it all night even though I didn't have any bottles lying around anywhere... anyone had that too? I felt like the stuff was sweating out of me... gross...
I'm not letting the thing with my mum get to me. I told her how it made me feel and she said she just didn't want to talk about things right at that moment which I accepted...
I've noticed I'm eating more healthily, even the past few days, before I couldn't get anything down before 4pm, now I'm having breakfast and lunch, I'm feeling really good actually... scrambled eggs on wholemeal toast... I never knew I could get so excited about eating again! Lol...
Anyway, I'll keep you all updated!
Thanks,
Izzy
Hi Izzy,
When I stopped drinking I was amazed how sensitive I became to the smell of alcohol. I could smell an open bottle of wine on the table next to me at a restraunt, I could smell alcohol on a person's breath two aisle over in the grocery store it seemed...
Keep doing what you are doing if it stopps you from drinking, if what you are doing isn't working find something else..... I'm glad to hear of your progress. Remember, its
one day at a time, Cookster
When I stopped drinking I was amazed how sensitive I became to the smell of alcohol. I could smell an open bottle of wine on the table next to me at a restraunt, I could smell alcohol on a person's breath two aisle over in the grocery store it seemed...
Keep doing what you are doing if it stopps you from drinking, if what you are doing isn't working find something else..... I'm glad to hear of your progress. Remember, its
one day at a time, Cookster
Hey Izzy glad to hear you are doing so well. When I gave up drinking I didn't smell it but everything tasted kinda weird to me at first. I am so glad that you are eating and are beginning to feel good. Welcome to the world of the living. Isn't it amazing how we get excited about what normal people usually take for granted. I was glad to even know what day I was living in lol or just being able to get in a car and drive and waking up without an hanagover that was totally awesome. I think those of us who have suffered learn to appreciate life more and little things do count. Stay positive and keep that head held high .You have EVERY reason to be proud of yourself but not one excuse to drink. Take it one day at a time and the world can be yours and your life can be yours to live as you should.,sober,healthy and happy. I wish all good things for you Izzy. Take care and you are doing us all proud. (((((( ))))))))
Things are so positive around here right now and I'm enjoying every minute of it.
Way to go Izzy and pirate!
Way to go Izzy and pirate!
There's that positive Izzy back to make me smile! Keep up the good work!
XX Valarie
XX Valarie
IZZY!
Isn't solid food grande?
:)
So many new tastes--and they stay down--so much to try!
Isn't solid food grande?
:)
So many new tastes--and they stay down--so much to try!
Lol... yeah the feeling of actually wanting to eat it not to just please my mum so she could see I actually ate something is good. I had a bacon roll today, best bacon I've tasted in ages!
My guinea pig has something wrong with her, she has a wee red bald patch on her rump, I only noticed it this afternoon... I panicked and my mum phoned the vet, she is going tomorrow, anyway, I panicked and my first thought was ... drink, that's how I deal with this, but I had to take a step back and calm down...
I'm having to learn all this stuff all over again, if I even learned it at all which I don't think I ever did... I've always used alcohol as my crutch...
My guinea pig has something wrong with her, she has a wee red bald patch on her rump, I only noticed it this afternoon... I panicked and my mum phoned the vet, she is going tomorrow, anyway, I panicked and my first thought was ... drink, that's how I deal with this, but I had to take a step back and calm down...
I'm having to learn all this stuff all over again, if I even learned it at all which I don't think I ever did... I've always used alcohol as my crutch...
