Don't Let Your Disease Win

Pain Pills
21
I love you too, Gina. Thanks for sharing my tears.

cg
22
Lisa,

Thanks for letting me in. And then I turned it all around to be about me -- how like an addict.

You sound so sad, so lost in the past and full of regret. I can be (moderately) adult supervision. Can I do anything? Is it Tom who keeps saying, "A problem shared is a problem halved?"

Love, Gina

You know you're my hero.
23
I am sad. It's the one part of my recovery that I struggle with the most. Our children's lives we can never get back. My oldest never knew me other than to be on pain meds. He moved out of the house before I got clean and lives in another state. Although we are really close, sometimes it's not enough..

I can't have that time back but I can make sure that it doesn't happen again and I lose more time. Especially if I get dead.

My kids are very forgiving and are just grateful that I am the way I am now. I wish I could forgive myself as easily.

Aren't you glad you asked?

xxx
Lisa
24
Yes, I am glad I asked. Are you sorry you answered?

I think my kids have forgiven me, and it sounds like yours have forgiven you. Self-forgiveness is something I don't have figured out yet, so we'll work on it together.

You're still my hero. I know you'll beat this and have a quality recovery, even if part of that means crying and watching the kids drive away. Sober.

I love you, Lisa
Gina
25
and that's the best part, I get to be clean as I watch them drive away.

geesh, now I'll never get to sleep. My face hurts from bawling. Thanks a lot Gina.

Night babe.

Lisa
26
Before you cry yourself to sleep, think about his. You'll be alive (and sober) to see them drive back again. And there's no guarantee of that if you were still using.

Night, love,
Gina
27
Wow, I can so relate....
I have HUGE GUILT...I haven't even ventured to open that door yet.
But, the best I can do now is make a living amend and not do it again. To me, though, sometimes that just doesn't seem to be enough..

Sorry I missed you wolf cg and gina on the other thread...I was at the pool and playing mommy...my 4 year old can SWIM!
Kerry
28
gina u wrote: Youre a loser. Youve blown it. Youve squandered all your opportunities. Youre stupid and lazy. my god i thought i was reading something i had written! i certainly know that feeling! and i know how it feels for someone to say it to u!!
all my luv xoxoxo
29
Kerry..you are so lucky to have quit while your children are young... they get to know you as a real person and mom.

High five to the 4 year old for learning to swim! How fun!.

Gina...they do come back don't they? I don't know what I'm so worried about...

xxx
Lisa