I haven't told anyone outside of our family, not even my mom. It's his first time. He stayed clean for 60 days on his own and then back to old habits over Christmas. It was the whole job=money=drugs and he just couldn't keep himself on the right track.
I don't know what you would call him. No one else would guess that he uses. He's not mean or violent, all he does is sleep a lot.
He told me he's tired of sleeping and having no money. Said he's ready for help. So we looked up all kinds of rehab places and with the help of his counselor, hopefully picked the one that best suits his needs.
I hope this helps. He needs some coping mechanisms, maybe life skills that I failed to give him. I really don't know. But oh wow, does it feel good to get this off my chest. xo
Good luck mom!!! Thanks for posting, I understand your need to keep it quiet. I told NO ONE, we did not discuss my son's addiction with ANYONE. We only started telling others when he started lying & manipulating other family members. Good luck to your son! Please continue to post here, we are here for you
Momfail, this is good news! The fact that he asked for help and was an active participant in the rehab decision is very hopeful. My own son needs to go to rehab, but at this point, I don't see it happening. He went on his own recently, but only lasted 3 days, so there is always hope for the future. Maybe next time, he will stay. I hope it all goes well for your son.
Yes, that is good news! I hope he learns a lot and this is a great step forward!
Mom so happy to read your post about your son. Its a good feeling when they go for help. Thinking of you and your son!
How often should I check in? I'm so used to worrying, it's like I've lost a limb. And I know he's an adult, or supposed to be one, so I don't want him to feel like a baby. He doesn't have phone privileges yet. xo
I would talk to my daughter when she had privileges. It was something like every other day and between certain times. I also would attend the family meetings on the weekends. I wanted her to know I supported her 100%.
I would send him cards, letters, articles, etc. I sent them a few times a week to keep him motivated & not so alone (we live in a different state)
Thank you Sallyanna and Mtnmom. He doesn't have any privileges yet and I'm hoping when he does, he asks to stay longer. I miss his voice. Good idea to pop something in the mail for him and if we are asked to attend family meetings, we will definitely go. He's 3 1/2 hours away from home.
I think they want the clients to focus on what they are there to do without the usual distractions of phone and social stuff. My son went to several rehabs. As they get older the facility does not want the family hovering around. Your son is young and first time at rehab, do what you feel you want to. You can call the admission office to ask what they advise that you do or dont do.
Yes, I have mixed feelings on this. When my son was in rehab, I went all out and so did my family. Letter, cards, care packages, the whole family would visit on weekends.
I can't say don't do this, because I did it. : ) However, if I could go back, knowing what I know now, I would just send simple cards a couple days apart and do the family meetings.
It might be a healthier response to not do what I did. It keeps the focus on recovery and on the person there.
I can't say don't do this, because I did it. : ) However, if I could go back, knowing what I know now, I would just send simple cards a couple days apart and do the family meetings.
It might be a healthier response to not do what I did. It keeps the focus on recovery and on the person there.
Perhaps you might want to focus on yourself, some, during the time he is away? Its not just about his recovery-its an opportunity for you to heal, as well. Some extreme self-care might be in order <3
A really, really wonderful experience might be to find an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting in your area. I only say this from personal experience-its so relieving and validating to talk honestly about whats going on and what youre going through emotionally with a group of people who know what youre going through...and it stays THERE. Its a wonderful, anonymous pressure-release valve, and you might find a new friend.
And give yourself a high five for even reaching out online-dont isolate yourself!
A really, really wonderful experience might be to find an Al-Anon or Nar-Anon meeting in your area. I only say this from personal experience-its so relieving and validating to talk honestly about whats going on and what youre going through emotionally with a group of people who know what youre going through...and it stays THERE. Its a wonderful, anonymous pressure-release valve, and you might find a new friend.
And give yourself a high five for even reaching out online-dont isolate yourself!
Well my son called today. Low and behold, he wants to come home. Oh the tears and cries of woe. Of all the days, this was the week his caseworker had two extra days off. We convinced him to stay until Monday so he can talk to him in person. I hope he stays the full ten days he's signed up for and then I hope he stays longer than that. He tells me he won't use again because he never wants to go back. I know better. Too soon for any real change to have taken place.
I hope he stays too mom. If he's serious about it be will.
He's still there!
We went to visit this weekend. His caseworker compromised at my son's request and said we could go down. I feel so much better seeing where he was, what he was up to, and meeting many of the others there. He said he will give it 30 days. I'm hoping for the 12 steps, but we will cross that bridge when the time comes. xo
We went to visit this weekend. His caseworker compromised at my son's request and said we could go down. I feel so much better seeing where he was, what he was up to, and meeting many of the others there. He said he will give it 30 days. I'm hoping for the 12 steps, but we will cross that bridge when the time comes. xo
Awesome!!!
