Hi. My boyfriend and I broke up 3 weeks ago cos he is an alcoholic and me, being an clean addict, could not take his drinkin anymore. So we broke up - we were together for 2 years.
He is still calling me and wanting to go out with me, but I gave him so many chances all the other times he kept screwing up, so now I am scared cos I want to be with him, but I don't think I could stand another time of him disappointing me. It just hurts too much. He told me that he didn't think that I would leave him because of the drinking, so can I give him another chance.
When I left him 3 weeks ago, he had been sober for a month, then relapsed again, and I gave him a chance and the after being sober for a nother month, he relapsed again, and then I left him.
I already know the answer to this question, but what must I do?
Am I doing the same thing, expecting different results???????
I really feel for you. This is a tough painful emotional time for you however I would like to encourage you to hang in there. If you take him back agian, you will be doing the same thing expecting different results as you already know.. You won't be doing him any favours either because you would be enabling him. Sticking to your guns on this one may be the most selfless act of love a person can do. You also would be endangering your own sobriety taking him back. Lean on some good friends in recovery at this time and acknowledge your pain. We will help you through. You might also want to get some support for your brave decision from some alanon members. They would be glad to help you. They have been there. Keep yourself safe and see to your needs. I will watch for you and will gladly listen anytime
june
Yay!!! I have finally gotten over him!
I now know that I won't go back to him cos - well - I just don't want to. I feel so much better now not even wanting to take him back cos now I don't have to make that hard choice! Yay!
Thanks June for replying to my post...
Yay!!!! Ang
I now know that I won't go back to him cos - well - I just don't want to. I feel so much better now not even wanting to take him back cos now I don't have to make that hard choice! Yay!
Thanks June for replying to my post...
Yay!!!! Ang
Good for you Ang ! Enjoy your new found freedom to do and be who you are and enjoy your own company for a while. Stay close to good friends and continue to make a daily decision to be happy.
june
This is so hard to believe, but he is going to an AA meeting tomorrow!! After all the persisting I did when we were together, it finally took him to lose me to make him go. But whatever does the trick I suppose.
June, you still around?? Love to hear from you
June, you still around?? Love to hear from you
I'm still here hon. We have to hit bottom and really be hurting, (the dying kind of hurting) before we'll seek help. I hope your ex-boyfriend is working on his recovery for the right reasons,for himself. Until we do that it is hard to succeed. We need to learn to value ourselves enough to know we are worth all the work it entails. I pray for him. I am praying for you to pet. I see your batlling with the pill deamon. Keep trying to get clean. You are worth it and remember addiction kills. I have seen too many deaths already. Don't want you there too. Not suprised that you used though. Break ups are harder on us than we really fully acknowledge. Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the relationship. We even need to greive the loss of bad relationships because with thier loss a dream dies. Be good to yourself in heathy ways and stay in touch with people who care. Talk to you later.
Hello,
Your right you do know the answer...Bu tis it the one you really want to make..There are some great books out there that can help you in ways you would not have imagined. There is this really great book that changed my life and gave me a better understanding of addictions. Get it you will be amazed everyone you know you will want to share this with. It is called The Dimensions of Healing Addictions...by Donna Cunningham and Andrew Remer... This book will not only help you but it will help him save himself.. You know that line ..give a man a fish feed him for a day..teach a man to fish feed him for life...This book is it you will want to thank me forever....I wish I could say more ..I don't know if they will even let this post out cause of the books name but I swear It is something any human being should read... I don't know the Authors and I make no money from telling you this...I am just one soul wanting to help. Take care.
Your right you do know the answer...Bu tis it the one you really want to make..There are some great books out there that can help you in ways you would not have imagined. There is this really great book that changed my life and gave me a better understanding of addictions. Get it you will be amazed everyone you know you will want to share this with. It is called The Dimensions of Healing Addictions...by Donna Cunningham and Andrew Remer... This book will not only help you but it will help him save himself.. You know that line ..give a man a fish feed him for a day..teach a man to fish feed him for life...This book is it you will want to thank me forever....I wish I could say more ..I don't know if they will even let this post out cause of the books name but I swear It is something any human being should read... I don't know the Authors and I make no money from telling you this...I am just one soul wanting to help. Take care.
Hello there Angie,
I live in Melbourne and I know what you are going through. Sorry to hear you have had such a rough time. My boyfriend dumped me coz I was an addict and now I am having to deal with it. I am praying for you my sweet pea. The sweet hands of God will carry you through this tough time. God bless.
I live in Melbourne and I know what you are going through. Sorry to hear you have had such a rough time. My boyfriend dumped me coz I was an addict and now I am having to deal with it. I am praying for you my sweet pea. The sweet hands of God will carry you through this tough time. God bless.
Hi. Please read my post titled "A MUST READ" FOR LADIES. Hope it gives you strength and hope. God Bless
Hi Everyone.
Sorry, haven't posted in this forum for a while, but hope u all glad to hear that I have completely moved on and am very happy without him. The only thing is now this poor guy won't leave me alone! He is bugging me constantly, begging me to go back to him and I really don't want to. But it's okay cos I'm sure he will get the message sometime. My only problem at the moment regarding him is that I am so scared he is gonna drink cos I keep rejecting him, but someone said to me, "Angie, he will drink anyway". So I guess I feel fine.
Thanks everyone, I don't think he will be a problem much longer.
Sorry, haven't posted in this forum for a while, but hope u all glad to hear that I have completely moved on and am very happy without him. The only thing is now this poor guy won't leave me alone! He is bugging me constantly, begging me to go back to him and I really don't want to. But it's okay cos I'm sure he will get the message sometime. My only problem at the moment regarding him is that I am so scared he is gonna drink cos I keep rejecting him, but someone said to me, "Angie, he will drink anyway". So I guess I feel fine.
Thanks everyone, I don't think he will be a problem much longer.
rbell12@cogeco.ca
I ended 40yrs. of alcohol abuse and all the cravings and insanity that went along with it in one week at www.lenair-alcohol.com. Check it out!!
I ended 40yrs. of alcohol abuse and all the cravings and insanity that went along with it in one week at www.lenair-alcohol.com. Check it out!!
Dear Angie
Please go to the Heroin Recovery board and read my latest thread entitled "Lies Lies Lies"....and you can read about what i recently discovered about my EX supposedly 2 years heroin free bf....actually what i discovered in my apt....that did it for me....he is history....yeah and this old dude who has been doing and selling heroin for over 20 years actually had the nerve at times to blame me for his constant relapsing.....and me with over 17 years in recovery myself.... MARY
Please go to the Heroin Recovery board and read my latest thread entitled "Lies Lies Lies"....and you can read about what i recently discovered about my EX supposedly 2 years heroin free bf....actually what i discovered in my apt....that did it for me....he is history....yeah and this old dude who has been doing and selling heroin for over 20 years actually had the nerve at times to blame me for his constant relapsing.....and me with over 17 years in recovery myself.... MARY
