GOSH, it's frustrating. I blow it every weekend. Last night i said to myself that i wouldnt drink, and i ended up having 5 drinks. Why did i do that? How come I have no self control. It's a split second decision that i made to have a drink, which turned into 5. Plus tonight I have a social event to go to. It's going to be interesting to see if I can keep the drinking under control. I dont konw why I do what I do. I was even trying to figure it out last night, while i was drinking. I was thinking, "why do I like the feeling I get when I'm drinking?" I couldnt answer the question, all I knew was that I was happy at the time, and it made me feel good. I thought "Dont feel guilty tommorrow." But of course I do. Darn it!!!!!
I wonder if the ONLY possible solution is to quit drinking all together? Does anyone know if it's possible for an alchoholic to control his or her drinking?
hi, there is no way for an alcoholic to have controlled drinking. For a time you may be able to do it, but in time it gets out of control. At least for me and any other alcoholic I know. Hope this helps.
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I don't think that is true about alcoholics being alcoholics for life. My dad almost died from a ruptured ulcer from drinking when I was young and then went into DTs in intensive care after surgery, they almost lost him again. He never went back to heavy drinking after that but can enjoy a beer at a ballgame or wine with a nice dinner. I am an alcoholic and I want to quit drinking excessively every day and not totally abstain, as there are many ocassions that social drinking is not wrong. I have been looking for a program and support group that is not into the moralistic "alcohol is evil and controls you mindset." I know I will need to detox and get control of my life but I don't like the AA philosophy and can't find a guilt free kind of program that seems to fit my needs. I know I am hurting myself and am worried, last night I passed out in my chair and woke up at 2 am to go to bed, as usual, this morning I was getting ready for work and went to find my favorite sweatshirt and it was laying on the floor and it had two huge holes burned in the front of it, I looked at the T shirt I was wearing with it and it was burned up too. I hid them in a trash bag and took them out to the trash. If anyone knows of a non AA program please help me.
I guess alcohol isnt evil for every person. For me, I wished so many times that i could just have social drinks. I even did it for a while, but it was only a matter of time before i slowly slipped back into my old habits. It's whatever you feel comfortable with. I thought i could just cut back on drinking, because i wasnt willing to quit completely...i mean who wants to go to a social event and have NOTHING to drink. But for me, that is the only thing i can do. I just have had to accept that, as much as it sucks! I'm not sure if everyone is like that, but I am beginning to think that if your an alcoholic, you just can't drink.
I have always wondered the same thing. I went to my 1st AA meeting last night. There are definitely people there who have been much worse drinkers than I was but I'm learning that it's how it is affecting your own life. I don't think you have to drink a bottle a booze on a daily basis to be an alcoholic. If you focus on alcohol on the time and it stops you from doing the things you want to do in your life AND if you cannot stop at the limit you want to stop at then alcohol is probably a problem. I never thought I had a problem until I realized that the hangovers, etc were keeping from doing things that I wanted to do. I've been thinking about going to an AA meeting for 2 years and I finally went. I wasn't afraid and everyone is so unbelievably nonjudgemental and just dealing with their own alcoholism. You will know when you are ready but I strongly suggest going to a meeting so that you can get a feel for where you are at and it will help you put some perspective into what you are feeling. You definitely are searching because you are on this site. I've been coming to these site for about 6 months, recently starting posting and now going to a meeting. It's a process and when you are ready, try a meeting. I never in my whole life thought I would say that or recommend it but it's a good thing.
were you nervous for your first meeting. I sure am. I'm not sure when i'll work up the guts to go...but i hope soon.
Extremely nervous, but once I sat down and people started talking, I felt at ease which greatly surprised me. I've only been to one meeting and plan on going again this week. The meeting I went to was on the AA book and I thought it was an open meeting but it was really for people (I think) who had been working the program a long time so I probably wasn't at the right meeting for a first time meeting. The meeting I'm going to this week is an open discussion meeting so I will let you know how it goes. At the first meeting, I didn't say anything but introduce myself so maybe that's why I wasn't as nervous. I also bought some book this weekend. "End Your Addiction Now" and a book by a woman who was very good about masking her alcoholism. She grew up upper middle class, had a good family, etc. but is still an alcoholic. I've only read about 50 pages so far but it is similar to my own situation so I've been in to reading it. I will let you know what book it is (I'm at work and the book is at home). Hope you are doing OK.
I have 84 days of soberity today. I got my 2nd DUI in Oct. My first one was 7 yrs ago. Both times I didn't feel that very drunk. Believe me I have been worse. When I went to court the judge suggested that I try an AA meeting. I was scared to death. I live in a small town and was afraid of who would be there. Of course when I got there I knew people and wanted to leave but didn't. I said my name and then they decided to do a first step meeting. Everyone told their story of how and why they went to AA. Most of them seemed to be real alcoholics and I kind of felt that I wasn't that bad yet. But the more I listened the more I wanted to be there. I cried and a few hugged me, gave me their phone #'s and told me it would get better. I had felt so welcomed!!!! I have not stopped going to meetings since. It is not how much you drink, it is how it affects you. I didn't drink every day. But I was totally different when I drank, angry, depressed, confused, hateful, etc. And then the next day GUILT!! Which then caused more anger, depression, hatered, etc. It was a never ending circle. I would drink because I was happy, sad, mad, because it was a nice day outside, because it was raining, because everyone else was, etc. Anyway, my point is that I found happiness, I like myself now, etc. And I can fall to sleep and wake up in the a.m. and not have guilt. I do not miss it. Just try a meeting. They are educational, and fun. Be happy:)
Your right Suzy. I was always finding an excuse to drink. NO matter what, there's always a reason. I went to an online meeting, and I will go to a face to face one somtime. I kinda think i don't need a face to face one, because I have found this terriffic Chat room. It's www.12steps.com It's so very helpful and the people are so supportive, and we talk about other stuff too. It's cool. You guys should join. It's the main reason I havent drank for 12 days. And I dont plan on drinking anymore. I know I can do it. But eventually, I do want to get to a face to face meeting. OTIS, let me know how your meeting goes. I was told to go get a book called "Living Sober" which I will go get too. Well, hope everyone is doing well!
Hey
this is my first time for a message board. I think that A.A. is a good program for you to go too, but I have been sober for 6 years now and I havn't been going to A.A. I think that there are other ways to become and remain sober insted of A.A. All I am trying to say is don't use being nervice as a excuse not to get sober. do it anyway you can. there is help....
this is my first time for a message board. I think that A.A. is a good program for you to go too, but I have been sober for 6 years now and I havn't been going to A.A. I think that there are other ways to become and remain sober insted of A.A. All I am trying to say is don't use being nervice as a excuse not to get sober. do it anyway you can. there is help....
mupmup, you can't commit to never using again forever. Take one hour at a time and one day at a time. Your desire to quit using is obvious from your posts. What a great start ! Show up at a live meeting, any meeting, and simply let those present know that you simply have a desire to stop using. You probably can't see it clearly right now, but the desire is a combination of your will and God's grace. We call it "actual grace" and it is very real, although unseen. It's that "ping" that we all experience from time to time to do something good or avoid something that is not so good. It's now us, but the God who created us acting in our lives. It's a free gift. Act on it.
otis, congratulations on attending your first meeting. You are responding to God's calling you to something better -- a lot better. Chase it and don't give up until you experience it.
Suzy, you are inspiring. Keep sharing with others.
I have come to understand that it's all in the "willingness" -- the willingness to consider that our thinking is not what it should be and reality might be different than what our thoughts and feelings are giving us and have been giving us. You don't have to buy the whole idea that a sober life is a better life, just a willingness to consider that there might be a better life than drinking or drugging. Open the door just a little.
We are each God's creation, and God doesn't make junk.
otis, congratulations on attending your first meeting. You are responding to God's calling you to something better -- a lot better. Chase it and don't give up until you experience it.
Suzy, you are inspiring. Keep sharing with others.
I have come to understand that it's all in the "willingness" -- the willingness to consider that our thinking is not what it should be and reality might be different than what our thoughts and feelings are giving us and have been giving us. You don't have to buy the whole idea that a sober life is a better life, just a willingness to consider that there might be a better life than drinking or drugging. Open the door just a little.
We are each God's creation, and God doesn't make junk.
mupmup, if you don't have a copy, go to the AA website and and there is an online copy of AA's Big Book. It's free. Read the first few chapters and it will give you a better idea of what you are experiencing and what you are facing.
It will also help unlock the mystery and give you insight on what happens in the process of taking that first drink when you know full well that the consequences are harmful to you.
Very readable, written in the form of personal stories just like these boards. And it has stood the test of time -- like decades -- first published in 1939 by the original founders of AA.
Keep us posted.
It will also help unlock the mystery and give you insight on what happens in the process of taking that first drink when you know full well that the consequences are harmful to you.
Very readable, written in the form of personal stories just like these boards. And it has stood the test of time -- like decades -- first published in 1939 by the original founders of AA.
Keep us posted.
mupmup, are you still with us ?
Thankyou so much everyone for all your help. I do plan on going to an AA meeting. I know I'll be nervous, but i also know that everyone will be very nice and want to help me.
I have managed to stay sober thru the Christmas and New Year season, it wasn't easy tho. Does it at some point become easy? I am very proud of myself, and the fact that I prayed to got to keep me strong and sober. God responded to me. I am very thankful for that.
I think AA will help me continue this. Because the online ones have done a lot to help me already, as have these posts, so imagine what a face to face one will do.
I will read the big book online. Thanks again, it's been 15 days sober now, which is a real accomplishment for me.
I have managed to stay sober thru the Christmas and New Year season, it wasn't easy tho. Does it at some point become easy? I am very proud of myself, and the fact that I prayed to got to keep me strong and sober. God responded to me. I am very thankful for that.
I think AA will help me continue this. Because the online ones have done a lot to help me already, as have these posts, so imagine what a face to face one will do.
I will read the big book online. Thanks again, it's been 15 days sober now, which is a real accomplishment for me.
Your heart and your head are in the right place. Just try, for today, not to take the first drink today. Yesterday is gone and tommorrow will take care of itself. You sound very pleased with yourself -- and you should be. There's so much more to life than wasting your mind. Congratuations on your sobriety -- your head is clear and the alcohol is no longer making decisions for you. Focus on the first step and get caught up in its meaning. Study every word, very slowly, and question what every words means. Meditate on the meaning of the first step.
I think you are being reborn. Accept the gift.
I think you are being reborn. Accept the gift.
