Okay. So in 2011, I started dating this boy who was a couples years older than me, I was about 15..
This was my first actual relationship and it had been a rocky one for about 3 years. Things were fine until he got a new group of friends who got him into doing all kinds of things. He had been a regular marijuana smoker before but most of our relationship he never smoked. He started smoking Spice, and doing Duster. He even totaled his car because he had blacked out from huffing cans. He stopped caring about our relationship and started to treat me bad. I finally decided I needed to leave and move on. So I did.
In the beginning of 2014 I had a new boyfriend, I moved to the other side of town and I was doing okay. Then one night he called me and told me all this stuff about being "gone" and then I just turned off my phone. When I turned it back on his dad had told me he tried to commit suicide and had broke his back while under the influence of Cocaine. I went to see him at the hospital and ended up staying the night there a couple times but afterwards I just went back to my life.
Through out 2014 he would randomly text me and tell me about how he had gotten into Meth and that he's homeless. Then he'd say he really just wanted to see me and hug me one last time. I met up with him and he looked like a ghost, so skinny, huge pupils. It was honestly scary and after a few minutes of talking he asked me to give him a ride to this house that I later found out was a crack house where he was bumming off of people.
After that I always refused to see him when he was high.
The end of 2014 I finally saw him, he said he was one month sober and wanted to talk. So we hung out and things were fine but I never really heard from him anymore. Later I got a boyfriend and this past year (2015) has been very hard and a very toxic relationship, and recently broke up! My dad is actually have drug issues too but swears he's sober now. Anyways many times in 2015 I didnt feel like my life was worth living and a couple times I had tried to call the people I love to try to hear something that would save me, then I called him and he talked me out of it.
My ex boyfriend added me on Facebook and told me we can be happy and that he just needs me to be his saving grace. I miss him like crazy but Im also just missing the old him. He asked me to hangout and stay the night with him since its been so long.
He's been staying at this hotel where all druggies stay, I didnt feel safe from the moment I got there. Things were fine. We were catching up. All he had to say were things about drugs but I guess thats all he knows. And then he told me I'd have to watch him shoot up so that he'll never do it again, he had to see the person he loved the most watch him do what he has been doing. After refusing I agreed, I just want him to be okay. And let me tell you, that was the hardest thing Ive ever watched.
So here I am, asking for help.
How do I help him get past all of this. Should I try to help him? Should I believe him when he says me watching him is gonna help him stop?
You can't help him. You saw how much you helped him last time by giving him a ride to the crack house, right? That's the kind of help he's looking for. Don't let him play on your emotions and manipulate you. This is his fight to fight, not yours.
If I were you I'd block him from my FB page and stop talking to him. I know you care for him and want to help him, but there's nothing you can do.
If I were you I'd block him from my FB page and stop talking to him. I know you care for him and want to help him, but there's nothing you can do.
Dear Hope, He is an addict trying to manipulate you through your heart and playing on your emotions...He had you watch him shoot up....cmon....You have to use your head instead of your heart....if he is willing to shoot up in front of you that alone has given him your permission to continue to use....I have said this so many times I am sure some are sick of me saying this ...But You cannot save him...only he can save himself....He is trying to reel you in...then he will be haunting you for money for a place to rest his head more rides to the Crack house ....is this what you want for yourself?He has nothing to offer you except stress heartache and involve you in a life that you don't want....You have to set your bounderies....tell him he might have chosen this life ,but you to have choices and have decided this is his battle and tell him he must fix himself....then distance yourself and stay clear.....otherwise your life will only go down the tubes....use your head....and the next time he wants someone a loved one watch him shoot up so he can see the pain it causes. ..tell him to sit in front of a mirror.
Hi Hope, Listen to what we are all telling you here. We have been where you are and you like us will just live a tormented life having him around you. You deserve a better boyfriend than this. If he can shoot up in front of you then he obviously cares more for the dope than for you. That's the way it will always be. Why do you really think he shot up in front of you? Do you think maybe if you saw him do it often enough you might want to try some yourself? Do you think that's maybe his game? Misery loves company. Save yourself the heartbreak and get rid of him now or you'll regret it further down the road. I can't stress this enough! I would rather have no boyfriend than one like this. Be strong, be independent and move on. Your worth more! M.
