I don't know if this is of value to anyone else, but what the hell. I said I wasn't bashful about sharing, didn't I?
:)
I went to a meeting again today and this time there was a young man, younger than myself anyway, who shared his story for the whole time. At the end of the month they do this, apparently.
Here's what's amazing: Here I was going through life thinking my situation was so unique and that I didn't fit anywhere. All my life. Seems his experience was EXACTLY in line with mine. Get this: He even likened himself to "misfit toys."
Damn. This new found peace and sense of being RAWKS.
What you described is called a "Speaker" meeting out here in SoCal. Glad you identified with the Speaker, it took me 20 years of trying to get sober to finally identify!
Ha ha!! Brilliant. It is amazing how we see ourselves as so unique, nobody knows how hard it is for me and all that. I was completely delusional a few years ago about who I thought I was. Quite embarassing to think of it nowadays!! It was like a cat, that complete aloof superiority. I'm the only person on the planet who is evolved, I am special. Oh me!! CRINGE.
Little did I know at the time, I was completely unconsious and trapped completely in ego! Also I was far from anything special. I had locked myself away in a bedsit because 'I had been run out of town' - they just didn't understand me and my special situation. What they have been through is nothing in comparison. My eating disorder kicked in - binge eating - which started to become bulimia, I was making myself throw up. The alcohol started to make me embarassing and desperate. The weed was making me severely paranoid. I used to creep around like a ghost for fear of being alive I think! Ughh, I will spare the detail, it isn't pleasant. But yes, what a special person!!!!! Ha ha.
Nowadays, I just see someone who was really messed up!! Wow, sharing that has gone beyond my comfort zone! Guess I better post it then!! Here goes.......
Little did I know at the time, I was completely unconsious and trapped completely in ego! Also I was far from anything special. I had locked myself away in a bedsit because 'I had been run out of town' - they just didn't understand me and my special situation. What they have been through is nothing in comparison. My eating disorder kicked in - binge eating - which started to become bulimia, I was making myself throw up. The alcohol started to make me embarassing and desperate. The weed was making me severely paranoid. I used to creep around like a ghost for fear of being alive I think! Ughh, I will spare the detail, it isn't pleasant. But yes, what a special person!!!!! Ha ha.
Nowadays, I just see someone who was really messed up!! Wow, sharing that has gone beyond my comfort zone! Guess I better post it then!! Here goes.......
Thanks, you two.
Weekend was a little wobbly--too much time inside my head--but I'm looking forward to today's meeting. Funny. Who would ever WISH to be in a room with a bunch of alcoholics? Unless it was a bar...
:)
Weekend was a little wobbly--too much time inside my head--but I'm looking forward to today's meeting. Funny. Who would ever WISH to be in a room with a bunch of alcoholics? Unless it was a bar...
:)
Hello skg!!
I was hoping you hadn't disappeared!!
Good luck with your meeting, hope it helps you get your head on straighter!
Love Lacey.
I was hoping you hadn't disappeared!!
Good luck with your meeting, hope it helps you get your head on straighter!
Love Lacey.
Hi Lacey,
No, didn't disappear, but I don't log on when I'm at home. Rather be outside or doing something. I post from work--and took yesterday off.
I appreciated your coments--yeah, being a martyr's a wonderful addiction, ain't it? We see ourselves as the "Difference Makers," at the sacrifice of whoever we are supposed to be. I've searched my entire life to find "My Calling," and did everything under the auspices of believing my God was driving. Seems maybe he was merely riding in the glove box--waiting for it to open....
:)
No, didn't disappear, but I don't log on when I'm at home. Rather be outside or doing something. I post from work--and took yesterday off.
I appreciated your coments--yeah, being a martyr's a wonderful addiction, ain't it? We see ourselves as the "Difference Makers," at the sacrifice of whoever we are supposed to be. I've searched my entire life to find "My Calling," and did everything under the auspices of believing my God was driving. Seems maybe he was merely riding in the glove box--waiting for it to open....
:)
