I visited this site a few years ago, and it really helped. I think it was the fact just having someone to talk to, who wont judge me as a smackhead straight off
i have been using most of my life over 30 years, in that time i have had beauty and the beast
years without thinking "ye done it" then some how it creeps back in like a shadow, stalking me.
This is one of those times, I broke my leg last year (mountain biking) and was of work for nearly 2 months, i don't know if it was the morphine i had at the hospital (3 days) that kicked me off. oh its OK its only a bag, and now i am on the verge of loosing my wife job home, think that would give me incentive enough, wouldn't you
Sh*t WHY WHY WHY, F*ck
The "WHY" looks to me is because you are an addict like me.
Without meetings and a program of recovery I am doomed.
Read AA's & NA's HOW IT WORKS in my sig line below.
All the best.
Bob R
Without meetings and a program of recovery I am doomed.
Read AA's & NA's HOW IT WORKS in my sig line below.
All the best.
Bob R
Hey Arley...
Welcome back...if that's a good thing. ..I came back in 3 months ago.. was jumped off my dose...took less than a month and I found myself back at it...im on naltrexon at the moment. ..it helps with the monkey...and I so totally understand how loud that monkey can get...so what's your options? ..you just having a vent or considering off ? Venting ok..no judgment from me..been at it 30 yrs or more myself...
Welcome back...if that's a good thing. ..I came back in 3 months ago.. was jumped off my dose...took less than a month and I found myself back at it...im on naltrexon at the moment. ..it helps with the monkey...and I so totally understand how loud that monkey can get...so what's your options? ..you just having a vent or considering off ? Venting ok..no judgment from me..been at it 30 yrs or more myself...
Thanks for the reply's, AA/NA have a load of good advice and support, but i don't think i am ready at this stage for such intensity, but definitely something i intend to do, i am willing to try almost anything, to save my wife i am not to bothered about the job and apartment she is my main motivation right now
I know what needs to be done and how to do it, its not getting off but staying off, but right now, i am just focusing on this moment maybe burying my head in the sand to a degree, some might say?
I say gathering my thoughts/options and making a plan, with achievable goals, baby steps.preparing for the war to come, the hours and hours of sleepless nights, then having to go to work everyday, and be normal, while i feel like a pile of sh*t
I think i was just looking for someone to talk to about it, maybe share my pain even for a brief moment.a complete stranger, but a kindred soul. I know last time it was really supportive here
thanks again for taking the time and sharing the love
I know what needs to be done and how to do it, its not getting off but staying off, but right now, i am just focusing on this moment maybe burying my head in the sand to a degree, some might say?
I say gathering my thoughts/options and making a plan, with achievable goals, baby steps.preparing for the war to come, the hours and hours of sleepless nights, then having to go to work everyday, and be normal, while i feel like a pile of sh*t
I think i was just looking for someone to talk to about it, maybe share my pain even for a brief moment.a complete stranger, but a kindred soul. I know last time it was really supportive here
thanks again for taking the time and sharing the love
Hey Arley. ..ya...staying off is the hardest thing I think I do every day...its insane...I'm at 22 days now..been a hell of a ride.. this run is done at least...hope I last awhile now...glad u stopped in..not many here anymore ..or maybe just a slow chapter...wishing u a safe detox...
Con
Con
Thanks for the reply Con
22 in brilliant, wish that was me, (right now)
I know i can do this (nearly wrote" beat that monkey",lol thought twice of it lol), I have done it so many times before, i suppose its just i am getting old and tiered of all this sh*t
i binned all my phone numbers and even my phone now so i am not tempted, but guess what, i got my motorbike out at 6.30 this morning, knowing roughly where my man lives rode up there remembering him telling me ages ago " i go out to the shop around 7 every morning. thinking hope he goes today Sunday, and after a bit of farting around i was back in the house, fat and happy, for about 20 mins.
then the reality of the situation gave me a good kick in the nuts, just to remind me
Work 9am tomorrow, just waiting for that to go bang. but all i can do is deal with what is and not what might be
stay strong 22 and counting, i will send you love/strength to carry on Axxx
22 in brilliant, wish that was me, (right now)
I know i can do this (nearly wrote" beat that monkey",lol thought twice of it lol), I have done it so many times before, i suppose its just i am getting old and tiered of all this sh*t
i binned all my phone numbers and even my phone now so i am not tempted, but guess what, i got my motorbike out at 6.30 this morning, knowing roughly where my man lives rode up there remembering him telling me ages ago " i go out to the shop around 7 every morning. thinking hope he goes today Sunday, and after a bit of farting around i was back in the house, fat and happy, for about 20 mins.
then the reality of the situation gave me a good kick in the nuts, just to remind me
Work 9am tomorrow, just waiting for that to go bang. but all i can do is deal with what is and not what might be
stay strong 22 and counting, i will send you love/strength to carry on Axxx
Thanks for the kind words...but I never know how long im going to make it...this is the longest I've ever gone ...ever I would guess...so....we'll see....had to laugh a bit about you driving out...since im no better sometimes ...walked into the pharmacy a few months back when I was still on the meds ...picked them up and then turned around and bought a 10 pack of rigs...standing there with both crap to get off and crap to get on...insanity at its best...yes...I know how it goes...think we'll get there eventually though...like you...just getting to old to chase it anymore...tired...do what you have to do...sometimes the rig keeps me sane...no dope in it...but what the hell...holding as best as I can...we weave in and out ....you'll make it if you need to...got faith in you too...got to fight it in our own way. ..
what.s Rigs
I really don't like using methadone i done a rattle in jail once from meth,20 years ago OMG it was nasty
so i am very conscious of it and try to use it as little as possible, maybe have some codine instead
Hope you stick with it, i was going to say today is day one but the wife asked me to go halfs when i came back from work, talk about temptation, i moved out the family home, because it was to easy and low and behold she has moved into the apartment below me, so we are back to square one, its always harder when its duel dependency
hope your staying in there, i will do this tomorrow lol lol lol
i will maybe lol no i will
thanks again and look to all you have achieved 23 in shine on
xxxxxaxxxxx
I really don't like using methadone i done a rattle in jail once from meth,20 years ago OMG it was nasty
so i am very conscious of it and try to use it as little as possible, maybe have some codine instead
Hope you stick with it, i was going to say today is day one but the wife asked me to go halfs when i came back from work, talk about temptation, i moved out the family home, because it was to easy and low and behold she has moved into the apartment below me, so we are back to square one, its always harder when its duel dependency
hope your staying in there, i will do this tomorrow lol lol lol
i will maybe lol no i will
thanks again and look to all you have achieved 23 in shine on
xxxxxaxxxxx
Aw s***...ya..that's gonna be near impossible. ..damn...rig is a spike, needle...IV ....ya methadone was a trip...but got to say it saved my life there for awhile. ..jail sucks...no other way to say it...been arrested 4 times..no real serious time though...not sure how I managed that...aw hell...if I could find something reliable out here I'm not kidding anyone...been off and out of the game far too long...and this is a new place...so...unless I get beyond desperate. ..and there are days when I consider taking the drive to the nearest city...I'm not going...frustrating in a way...but...there ya go...older ya get and the longer your out...gets harder...got to want that clean time ...some days I do...and some days I'm pretty sure I don't. ..lol....we're and insane bunch...stay well dude...we're ready when we're ready...won't matter whose banging if its time to get off and end the run and find some clean...
Con
Con
