Today is day 4 for me. I have trouble with depression. I'm 26 now and it started when I was 16. I've been on probably every anti-depressant there is. That's why once I had pain pills they made me happy (temporarily). I also have trouble with cutting and vomiting after I eat. Yesterday, my depression overwhelmed so much I could hardly stand it. Today has been a little better but I am so scared of falling back into that dark place. It is such a lonely place to be and I can't stand the thought of being there, yet again. I know I'm still ridding the opiates from my body and that probably has a lot to do with what I'm feeling. The only good thing right now is my physical symptoms are mostly gone, although I constantly struggle with being hot or cold. I always look for an escape (cutting, vomiting, etc.). I am also feeling some anxiety and I don't like that it's not a familiar feeling to me. Anyways, I guess I just needed to get all of this out.
thanks for listening... valley
Valley,
Do you have any docs or counselors helping you with the withdrawls???
Might help you since you are prone to depression and cutting and vomiting. Withdrawl from opiates can cause a lot of emotional overwhelm and anxiety. Never hurts to add in some support.
Peace,
PM
Do you have any docs or counselors helping you with the withdrawls???
Might help you since you are prone to depression and cutting and vomiting. Withdrawl from opiates can cause a lot of emotional overwhelm and anxiety. Never hurts to add in some support.
Peace,
PM
I would most def go see a counselor or psychiatrist for these issues. I deal with the same issues and i know how out of control it can become. It's esp important to seek medical help when withdrawing from opiates because it can make symptoms worse. Love, Bri :)
Please keep us posted and do seek further help. What you are doing is hard enough. You can do it but just get some help. Make that call. You are woth it.
Peace,
pm
Peace,
pm
Valley;
I see a psych every 3 months for a med check. I've been on AD's for years. If I were you I'd definitely look for medical help. Yes, you are early in wd's and depression is very common and for most, temporary.
But with your history I'd reach out for help. It has been a long time but I've been in that black hole and I know how awful that can be. Take care of yourself.
Jim
I see a psych every 3 months for a med check. I've been on AD's for years. If I were you I'd definitely look for medical help. Yes, you are early in wd's and depression is very common and for most, temporary.
But with your history I'd reach out for help. It has been a long time but I've been in that black hole and I know how awful that can be. Take care of yourself.
Jim
Thanks for the replies...
I do see a therapist and I've been seeing him for almost 4 yrs., however, he is a psychologist so he doesn't prescribe anything. I just go and talk through stuff with him. The person I've been getting my ad's from is the same family dr. that has been prescribing me vicoprofen and xanax, and probably anything I want. I've already seen my therapist once this week and I'm planning to see him again tomorrow, unfortunately my insurance ran out earlier in the year so I have to pay quite a bit to see him so lately I've only been able to go once a month. I'm really not sure how much he knows about addictions. I'm going to ask him tomorrow about referring me to a psychiatrist because I know I need some help with this.
It's also a very difficult time for me and my family right now because my brother was killed over the summer. As my therapist told me, I've complicated the grieving process with the pills, since I started them pretty soon after his death, althought it wasn't intentional. I had a lump removed from my breast and was given lortabs. It had been a few years since my last trouble with vicoprofen so I didn't think much about it, but from there it was back to the old family dr. who I knew would give me the pills to escape from everything. I've been thinking about my brother a lot more lately and I miss him so much. He was my only brother, five years younger than me and I wish I could have protected him. We also have court dates coming up related to his death, which I won't go into detail about on here, but it is all so hard. I'm trying to stay strong for my parents and felt like with the pills I could. Now I just feel like I'm floating into nothingness...
I do see a therapist and I've been seeing him for almost 4 yrs., however, he is a psychologist so he doesn't prescribe anything. I just go and talk through stuff with him. The person I've been getting my ad's from is the same family dr. that has been prescribing me vicoprofen and xanax, and probably anything I want. I've already seen my therapist once this week and I'm planning to see him again tomorrow, unfortunately my insurance ran out earlier in the year so I have to pay quite a bit to see him so lately I've only been able to go once a month. I'm really not sure how much he knows about addictions. I'm going to ask him tomorrow about referring me to a psychiatrist because I know I need some help with this.
It's also a very difficult time for me and my family right now because my brother was killed over the summer. As my therapist told me, I've complicated the grieving process with the pills, since I started them pretty soon after his death, althought it wasn't intentional. I had a lump removed from my breast and was given lortabs. It had been a few years since my last trouble with vicoprofen so I didn't think much about it, but from there it was back to the old family dr. who I knew would give me the pills to escape from everything. I've been thinking about my brother a lot more lately and I miss him so much. He was my only brother, five years younger than me and I wish I could have protected him. We also have court dates coming up related to his death, which I won't go into detail about on here, but it is all so hard. I'm trying to stay strong for my parents and felt like with the pills I could. Now I just feel like I'm floating into nothingness...
Hang in there Valley!!!!!
I think asking for a referral to a psychiatrist is an excellent idea. Doesn't mean you still can't talk to this person but I think you are doing the right thing.
I am sorry to hear about your brother. Grief and loss is something that sure complicates everything and it sounds like there is alot of stress surrounding this circumstance. Please hang in there.
You are really looking at what you need to do to take care of yourself and this is a good thing. Your family needs you right now and most of all you deserve to be free from addiction and have a better life.
Keep posting and stay strong.
peace,
pm
I think asking for a referral to a psychiatrist is an excellent idea. Doesn't mean you still can't talk to this person but I think you are doing the right thing.
I am sorry to hear about your brother. Grief and loss is something that sure complicates everything and it sounds like there is alot of stress surrounding this circumstance. Please hang in there.
You are really looking at what you need to do to take care of yourself and this is a good thing. Your family needs you right now and most of all you deserve to be free from addiction and have a better life.
Keep posting and stay strong.
peace,
pm
Valley,
I am 22 and have been through periods of depression, some way more severe than others. I am all too familiar about the cutting, I started doing that when I was 17 and by the time I was 18 was way out of control. I would do it when I felt so bad, that's the only thing I thought I COULD do...
I now have a huge scar on my left forearm because I was doing so much blow one night my judgement was seriously altered and I ended up cutting WAY too deep. I see that scar everyday, my 14 month old points at it, ... it's a reminder for me.
If you need to talk ever to someone please email me at kaylinsmom440@yahoo.com
Hope you're feeling better,
Stacey
I am 22 and have been through periods of depression, some way more severe than others. I am all too familiar about the cutting, I started doing that when I was 17 and by the time I was 18 was way out of control. I would do it when I felt so bad, that's the only thing I thought I COULD do...
I now have a huge scar on my left forearm because I was doing so much blow one night my judgement was seriously altered and I ended up cutting WAY too deep. I see that scar everyday, my 14 month old points at it, ... it's a reminder for me.
If you need to talk ever to someone please email me at kaylinsmom440@yahoo.com
Hope you're feeling better,
Stacey
I have to say...........I feel very bad right now after reading this..I am so sorry anyone would go tot the lenghts of cutting themseleves...omg hun I don't understand why anyone would could cut themselves...can I just ask whatthe purpose of that is.when I get really depressed the extreme I go to is just hiding out in my house with blinds closed and cry and watch movies.......
I have a 17 yo and 19 yo so if there is anything I can do to talk to you instead of you finding ways to hurting yourself please talk to me......I feel the pain just knowing you cause yourself pain...I am trying really hard not to cry for you right now...but its hard....
please get all the help you can to stop doing this to yourself.
I have a 17 yo and 19 yo so if there is anything I can do to talk to you instead of you finding ways to hurting yourself please talk to me......I feel the pain just knowing you cause yourself pain...I am trying really hard not to cry for you right now...but its hard....
please get all the help you can to stop doing this to yourself.
Depression is part of withdrawals...if you were depressed before..it's worse. Has any AD worked for you? Right now your brain is out of balane and it's hard for you to think straight...I'm sorry for your pain...I also had eating disorders and know a lot about self-mutilation.You have friends here so please don't feel alone....Love, Sharonn
Valley, Pine here,
Do you or are you in some professionals care? if not; for yourself and all your new friends here on the board; Please seek help you are to young and to important to be walking around with these type of problems. Keep us posted.
Travis.......................Pineknot
Do you or are you in some professionals care? if not; for yourself and all your new friends here on the board; Please seek help you are to young and to important to be walking around with these type of problems. Keep us posted.
Travis.......................Pineknot
All I can really say about the cutting is that it's a way I deal with the emotional pain I feel. When feelings overwhelm me I will cut. Although, I hadn't in a while until yesterday and it's never anything life threatening. I don't really know how to explain it any other way than that.
Prozac seemed to be the best for a while but the last time I was on it I didn't have as much success. I'm currently on 20 mgs of Lexapro, which at this point I can't tell much about, since I started taking it while on the pain pills.
Let me just say that I feel so much better knowing I have support from all of you. I really feel some better after getting on here and talking about my feelings.
Prozac seemed to be the best for a while but the last time I was on it I didn't have as much success. I'm currently on 20 mgs of Lexapro, which at this point I can't tell much about, since I started taking it while on the pain pills.
Let me just say that I feel so much better knowing I have support from all of you. I really feel some better after getting on here and talking about my feelings.
hey all
cutting is more common than many think..did it once myself at age 16, but it was more out of sheer growing pains and frustration...one beating too many from my father....
i know you mentioned that the scar is still visible stace....when you look at it, try not to think of whatcaused it as much as that you are capable of healing.
our bodies sometimes take time. but they heal. so do our hearts.
Hugs,
Ali
cutting is more common than many think..did it once myself at age 16, but it was more out of sheer growing pains and frustration...one beating too many from my father....
i know you mentioned that the scar is still visible stace....when you look at it, try not to think of whatcaused it as much as that you are capable of healing.
our bodies sometimes take time. but they heal. so do our hearts.
Hugs,
Ali
