ANNUAL NEOLOGISM CONTEST
Once again, The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words'
The winners are:
1) Coffee (n) the person upon whom one coughs.
2) Flabbergasted (adj) appalled over how much weight you've gained.
3) Abdicate (v) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4) Esplanade (v) to attempt an explanation while drunk.
5) Willy-nilly (adj) impotent.
6) Negligent (adj) describes a condition in which you absent mindedly answer the door in your night gown.
7) Lymph (v) to walk with a lisp.
8) Gargoyle (n) olive flavoured mouth wash.
9) Flatulence (n) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steam roller.
10) Balderdash (n) a rapidly receding hairline.
11) Testicle (n) a humourous question on an exam.
12) Rectitude (n) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.
13) Pokemon (n) a Rastafarian proctologist.
14) Oyster (n) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.
15) Frisbeetarianism (n) (Back by popular demand): The belief that when you die your soul flies up to the roof and gets stuck there.
16) Circumvent (n) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.
The Washington Post's Style Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting or changing one letter, and supply a new definition.
Here are this years winners:
1) Bozone (n) The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.
2) Cashtration (n) The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinate period.
3) Giraffiti (n) Vandalism spray painted very high.
4) Sarchasm (n) the gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.
5) Inoculatte (v) To take coffe intravenously when you are running late.
6) Hipatitus (n) Terminal coolness.
7) Osteopornosis (n) A degenerate disease (This one got extra credit.)
8) Karmageddon (n) It's like, when everybody is sending off these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.
9) Decafalon (n) The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.
10) Glibido (v) All talk and no action.
11) Dopeler effect (n) the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.
12) Arachnoleptic fit (n) The frantic dance performed after you've just accidently walked through a spider web.
13) Beelzebug (n) Satan in the form of a mosquito that gets into your bedroom at 3 am and cannot be cast out.
14) Caterpallor (n) The colour you turn after finding half a grub in the fruit you're eating.
And the pick of the literature:
Ignoranus (n) A person who's both stupid and an a** hole.
Hope it made you giggle....
love
diff xxxx
11) Dopeler effect (n) the tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly ...they were all pretty funny but, i can relate to this one a lot.
