Father Of A Crack Addict

I am writing for my husband (he doesn't type as fast).

My son over dosed Tuesday a.m., back on crack by Wednesday night.

Was arrested about 15 minutes ago for the 3rd time in a month and a half. Burglary of his ex girlfriends home. He ditched his pipe and his (stolen) cell phone, although they did recover it. His charges just keep mounting.

possession of a controlled substance
evading arrest
breaking and entering
theft

My wife has read many of the stories to me from this website and (un)fortunately it is nice to know that I'm not alone.
I know that I have to leave him in jail and off the streets, we are hopeful he will be sentenced to a 9 month rebab with the correctional facility.

This is my only son, he has ADHD (possibly bi-polar), would never take his medicine, dropped out of school in 9th grade, never kept a job and on and on. Just as many of the addicts on this site are, my son is model material, I.Q higher than his sister (4.0 college w/honors). I never thought I would say it, but I am glad he is going back to jail. The dealers are going to kill him-heard through the grapevine.

If are there are any dads or moms that have dealt with a similar situation, I would jus like some feedback.
Thank you.....Mike

with the overdosing and criminal acts, it's pretty clear that your son is a danger to himself and possibly to others. with that said, until he regains sanity, he should be restrained -- either in jail or a mental health facility. irrespective of the cause, whether drugs or some other condition, the mental instability has the same effect. on his own, he's going to hurt himself or someone else. if he's hurt while in jail, at least he didn't hurt someone else and then have to live with the consequences.

there was mention that a lawyer said he wouldn't last in jail so a relative bailed him out. not sure what was meant by that. sounds like whoever bailed him out wasn't willing to stay around him around the clock and watch him.

death threats -- not so sure about that either. i doubt anyone has an interest in eliminating a source of cash. they might want to rough him up to extract payment. but i have no experience with that part of the drug world.

mike, your son is in the safest place he can be right now, other than perhaps a hospital or mental health facility. take solace in that fact.

you are probably reaching mental exhaustion and your emotional limits. if you can bring yourself to do it, join a local fellowship of other relatives of addicts in your town. there is help for you -- there is no need to go thru this struggle alone. give it a try a time or two. and there is no cost.
is he showing or expressing any desire at all to stop using ?
Bob.........

Thank you for the response. The relative you spoke of was my dad, he is 68 years old never dealt w/ the "new drugs" of this era. He let my sons attorney talk him into what he thought was the best thing. Obviously, after the o.d that happened Tuesday, my dad has seen the light.

And yes my son has admitted he does want to get help, ALTHOUGH we have seen a pattern. Each time (4) he has gone into the correctional facility, his goal is to get his GED and go to rehab. It never happens. He walks the straight line for 1-2 days and then back to his routine.

My wife and I called the correctional facility tonight to make sure he was in protective custody, advised them he would be coming down from crack. He said he was on suicide watch, only because of his behavior prior to being in the same facility.

My wife and told you in a prior message she wanted to seek counseling and our insurance would not pay. Her mother told her of a parishoner (actually his ministry his Kiros-prison ministry) that comes to her job to speak to people, although she had not seen him in several weeks. Well, today my wife called her mother to tell her about my son and my wife was shocked to hear her mother tell her that the priest was standing at her door. She advised him of the situation, he closed her office door and prayed with my mother in law. She has his card and wants to speak with myself and my wife first and then visit my son. He will be there for probably 6 months before his mandatory sentence in rehab.

Thank you for helping me to find some peace (we told my daughter to also log on to gain some strength and understanding). My wife and I also pray that you and your family are okay and that your son has strength to fight his addiction.

God bless you Bob B.....................Mike
well, i was afraid that i was terse in speaking of your son's release. i understand. these decisions are so hard and we hope for the best but brace ourselves for the worse. so many of the addicts and alcoholics only recover and only begin to recover after they have been jailed or hospitalized with physical infirmities. it's good that you are able to work with local law enforcement. most really do want to help families if they can -- and addicts for that matter.

that's interesting news about the priest. yes, i think other forms of counseling are available thru churches and other organizations. local Al-Anon groups and Nar-Anon groups also can lead to counsellors. some have counsellors as group members.

you know, there's all kinds of different ways for addicts to begin to seek help. i've told the story elsewhere, but i have a younger brother (he's now in his late forties) who is a heroin addict -- used numerous other drugs along the way. he had a spiritual awakening that led to his recovery in a jail cell -- a roving small town preacher and several other inmates prayed with him. that was his start.

we just never know what's going to spark the desire to begin recovery. unfortunately, most time the pain associated with continuing to use just has to be pretty severe.

thanks for asking, my son is fairing pretty well, it seems. at 24, i often wonder if he has really hit his bottom. he faces jail himself later this year after accumulating several DWIs. for now, he's living in a halfway house, holding down a job, and doing what he has to do to be able to live in the halfway house. talked to him today -- he seemed steady and less anxious than usual. wanted to talk about a little problem at his job and how he should assert himself. lack of assertiveness was a problem that was identified in his rehab several years ago -- leads to anger, which triggers use. again, thanks for asking. i'm not obsessing near as much as when he was living here in our home.

sounds like your son has plenty of family support. so many have none. right now he is safe -- that's a real blessing. it's good that he at least says he wants help and a better life. so many won't even go thru the motions. once his body clears of the toxics, with his intelligence, he'll be in a better position to make decisions for himself. as long as they are using, they really can't.

i pray that you and your family find some measure of peace.