I am a father of a 30 year old addicted to pills, booze, Coke, etc.. He is a father of two who recently sent his wife and kids to stay with her grandparents. I am not happy with this because most of her family is no better. He text me earlier calling me no good and to stay away from his family as he believes I will come after them VIA Social Services. He says I am not his family the streets took care of him. This lays heavy on my heart hearing this come from him. I cant help him anymore and I have come to realize this. He steals, lies and the stories....WOW. Just curios how others deal with this and is hope all but lost for him? His mother commited suicide 10 yrs ago (pills overdose) Bi -Polar etc... and he was close to her. He has within the last two years lived with myself and wife of 6 yrs who has supported him as well. This only lasted 2 weeks and out the door he goes again. Any advise for a heavy hearted dad?
Hi, Have you thought of going to Al-Anon? It is a support group for friends and family members of addicts and alcoholics. You can't help him, only help yourself. Be well, peace.
Speaking as an addict, your son is not himself and hasn't been for some time now. The key is getting him to hit rock bottom. It sounds like he is close, but sometimes that is lower to some people. You need to seek help for you at the moment. I know it sounds selfish, but look at it like the oxygen mask on a crashing plane, you must secure your mask first because you are no good to anyone if you are dying or dead. So work on you, and that will assist you in helping your son. There are things that you can do, but until he sees his addiction there is very little that will work. Try to remind him of a time he didn't need pills to be happy, remind him of a life less complicated. That helped me. He doesn't want to chase the drugs around, he has to. In fact I am certain he hates chasing them around, tell him he doesn't have to anymore. There are ways, AA, NA, Suboxone, Methadone, etc so tell him he can stop worrying about his next pill. I truly hope you reach him, and I plead that its not too late. Hang in there and good luck. Remember he is sick and not himself. Addiction is brutal to all involved. Good luck
Citysburg
Citysburg
Just a follow up and thank you for reading and support. My son has still not seen a judge yet for his violation of parole and drug charge. I went and visited him last Thursday and low and behold....HE GOT TATOOS ON HIS DAMN FACE....WTH......really dude on your face.....Game changer and not sure what do now.....SMH
Dear Gambino Dad, Your son states the streets took care of him,those wonderful upstanding citizens they are...helping hook him up with drugs ,taking money that should've been spent on his children....and you fell for that...It's a addicts mentality.They all prey on each other take what they can get as long as it benefits them and will kick you to the curb when you have nothing left to offer....yeah they took care of him that's why you had to take him in.....There comes a point that as a parent you have to come to terms with the fact you have done all you can do....it's painful and it hurts. ...but there comes a point you have to step back ,and allow the chips to fall where they may....if you keep trying to make things better ,trust me all your efforts will be in vain....you'll be the dog chasing it's tail....never getting anywhere....if he truly feels his street buddies are there for him stand aside and allow him to figure out just how much they care....my sons wonderful buddies went through his stuff picked out what they wanted and dumped the rest in a garbage bag on a doorstep...your main concern is the children...You can care for them and have a relationship with them without him....all possible through the courts as grandparents have rights....I know it hurts but you cannot help someone who doesn't want to help themselves. .....he's 30 he's an adult ....his choices are his and the consequences must also be his to own up to....
