Hi I'm new to this site and thought I would write a post. I have a son that lives with me he is 19. He smokes marijuana and we have given him many rules to try and get him to stop but of course he just leaves to a friends house, stays gone all day and than comes home in the early morning hours to sleep. He than sleeps all day and repeats the same thing over and over. I feel like I am giving up on him because I want to kick him out but at the same time I know I have to because I have 4 other children in my house and in tired of them seeing him do nothing but sleep. He has no motivation and I don't know how much more I can do to try and help him anymore. I am starting to feel like a failure and like I'm not doing the right thing. I don't even know what the right thing to do is.
Lost mom.
Dear Mom, You expressed that you have spoken to your son regarding his drug use...I happen to believe that pot is a stepping stone to other drugs .I would sit my son down and tell him I am aware he is still using ..if he denies it call his bluff go to the pharmacy and get a drug kit...if he's clean he won't have a problem taking it......Remind him that it will not be tolerated. ..He is a member of a household and he is neglecting his responsibility .Whether it be to be a student,have a job ...He is also someone that his siblings might look up to..but for certain the siblings are watching Mom allow him to hang out and sleep all.day...no good...kids absorb what is around them...You don't want them failing in the same pattern...Most likely your son believes he is a adult now capable of making decisions. ..Where you can point out adults are also capable of supporting themselves....if he wants to live under you roof he is to get a job and be productive. ...otherwise if his goal is to smoke pot all day get high and sleep ...hell have to find other accommodations....As Mothers we do our best to raise our children,we do our best to teach right from wrong...we gave them life yet we cannot live life for them....But as Mothers we do not have to except bad behavior. ..if they make bad choices it's not that we made those choices for them....I am not a failure because my son chose to use drugs....I would never have allowed those toxins to enter into his flesh...I felt like a failure to...but when I really think about how I was with my child I was a darn good Mom...I love my son but I cannot be held accountable for his choices. ..but on the other hand I won't support bad choices either...You are not a failure. .you just have a son that's selfish and is thinking about himself right now...don't support bad behavior to do that would be to fail him.
Hi Momofive- Christophers mom is right-you are enabling your sons drug use-why should he change-you pay the bills -he sleeps all day and smokes all night !!!! you need to put some boundaries in place and stick to them- tell him - get up - get out and get a job or go back to school-if he wants to smoke with his friends all night-go and live with them-give him a time limit-one month, job or school - give him a curfew- if he breaks it pack his bags-you gotta look after you and your other kids- you could end up with them all going down the same road - if they think this is acceptable behaviour-time to get tough- sit him down tell him the rules-then it is his choice-he is an adult he needs to start taking responsibility for his actions and realise the consequences of his decisions-wish you all the best-
I am very familiar with this scenario. In my case, the requirments for an adult child living in my home include: Attending school of some time, or working. 100% no drugs or alcohol. Sleeping in, watching TV, and laying around is not tolerated.
In my case the adult did not like these rules. He was invited to move out.
On his own, he is learning things that he did not at home - despite a thousand talks on my part. He is realizing he needs to work if he wants to live under a roof. He is learning to hang with winners, as the losers drag him down.
In my case the adult did not like these rules. He was invited to move out.
On his own, he is learning things that he did not at home - despite a thousand talks on my part. He is realizing he needs to work if he wants to live under a roof. He is learning to hang with winners, as the losers drag him down.
