hi just found this board so i thought id posted my feelings
i was a regular pot/skunk smoker from the age of 17 or 18 and i stopped oct 13 2003 so ive been clean from smoking for just over two years .
in that period of smoking i tried pretty much everythin excpect crack and heroin but mainly was addicted to smoking pot/skunk every day and alot of it every day.
I just decided one day enough was enough and i didnt want my life dependent on smoking drugs any more and i just stopped .
i went threw a very hard time at first as my mind was crying out for it but i didnt give in and after about 6 very hard months i lost the urge to smoke it .
for two years now my mind hasnt felt the same , its a very slow period of it getting better but its starting to get to me abit
Its feels like my mind is very tense all the time and theres like a feeling of pressure, and my mind wont relax . feels like my minds not clear and as if its little muffled , its a very hard thing to describe :o(
i went to see the doctor and he said its symptons of depression and i went on anti depresents for a while which did help but i came off them . im thinking i mite be still depressed but i dnt feel sad or down as much as i did before when i first started taking the anti depressents. just have this weird feeling in my mind ?
it would be nice if theres any one else out there that could help or tell me of the same problems or recommended whats best to do ?
good job about staying clean from pot for two years, but playing with h or crack is really taking a chance. you know that.
at least you are honest with youself, that is so huge, many people can't accept the reality of their drug use and languish for many years in it, like i have done.
not feeling well? - that may not be pot or the drugs if you've been off them for a while. lots of people feel lousey everyday and they never took a drug. i guess its' all about finding happiness.
i feel i have a soul, a reason for being in this world. i think my soul is unique and want to "express" itself in a positive way for myself and this world. but there are other forces, evil forces, that pull me down. it seems no matter how good my life is, there is something pulling me down, but i hope to be making a few steps forward with less backward.
how to be happy - your happy when you are expressing yourself into this world the way you are supposed to. work is always good, it is hard for many to find the right job, where they feel their qualities are being used as they should be, but i know i have that type of job, but i often fall short, tread water.
then their are relationships - you can't control the family you were born into, or your mate, after the pick. and they relfect back to you in ways we can't comprehend.
work on yourself - i always find exercise makes me feel good, but i don't usually overdo it. i believe in yoga, it makes me quiet inside. don't blame it all on the drugs, but getting off is a good start. i'm surrounded by screwed up people that don't take drugs.
at least you are honest with youself, that is so huge, many people can't accept the reality of their drug use and languish for many years in it, like i have done.
not feeling well? - that may not be pot or the drugs if you've been off them for a while. lots of people feel lousey everyday and they never took a drug. i guess its' all about finding happiness.
i feel i have a soul, a reason for being in this world. i think my soul is unique and want to "express" itself in a positive way for myself and this world. but there are other forces, evil forces, that pull me down. it seems no matter how good my life is, there is something pulling me down, but i hope to be making a few steps forward with less backward.
how to be happy - your happy when you are expressing yourself into this world the way you are supposed to. work is always good, it is hard for many to find the right job, where they feel their qualities are being used as they should be, but i know i have that type of job, but i often fall short, tread water.
then their are relationships - you can't control the family you were born into, or your mate, after the pick. and they relfect back to you in ways we can't comprehend.
work on yourself - i always find exercise makes me feel good, but i don't usually overdo it. i believe in yoga, it makes me quiet inside. don't blame it all on the drugs, but getting off is a good start. i'm surrounded by screwed up people that don't take drugs.
Happiness is like a butterfly, if you chase it you will never catch it, but if you are peaceful and can be quiet and still long enough, it will alight upon your shoulder.
Of course that's hard if you are suffering from clinical depression, even mild clinical depression.
While they seem to have been designed for the freshly recovering addict, I suppose that some of these natural supplements folks talk about here might provide you with some relief/clarity, since they are natural there is probably little chance of them doing any harm, so it is probably worth a try.
And of course if your spirituality is out of balance, that might be the source of these feelings, if you have not considered that factor you should. (what hardcarger said about yoga/meditation, etc. and what WW is always talking about.)
We each have our own path, you must find your own, the above are offered as suggestions, not solutions.
Congrats on your 2 yrs of clean time.
Of course that's hard if you are suffering from clinical depression, even mild clinical depression.
While they seem to have been designed for the freshly recovering addict, I suppose that some of these natural supplements folks talk about here might provide you with some relief/clarity, since they are natural there is probably little chance of them doing any harm, so it is probably worth a try.
And of course if your spirituality is out of balance, that might be the source of these feelings, if you have not considered that factor you should. (what hardcarger said about yoga/meditation, etc. and what WW is always talking about.)
We each have our own path, you must find your own, the above are offered as suggestions, not solutions.
Congrats on your 2 yrs of clean time.
Hello deckio,
Two years is a huge accomplishment ! Way to go !
Couple of questions for you.
May I ask why you stopped your antidepressants ?
Do you pay attention to the thoughts in your head ?
I say alot of negative things to myself, which is not helpful to my recovery, but with my a/d, social interaction and group therapy I hope to turn that around.
Welcome to the board. :-)
Two years is a huge accomplishment ! Way to go !
Couple of questions for you.
May I ask why you stopped your antidepressants ?
Do you pay attention to the thoughts in your head ?
I say alot of negative things to myself, which is not helpful to my recovery, but with my a/d, social interaction and group therapy I hope to turn that around.
Welcome to the board. :-)
Hi Deckio,
Congrats. 2 yrs is a big accomplishment.I'm new here too and am unsure what advice to give other than: listen to the others they seem to give good advice. The yoga and meditation is a great way to build serenity and peace. It's worked for me when I stay clean and commit to it everyday. The one thing I've learned is that anything worth while takes time. Welcome to the board!
Congrats. 2 yrs is a big accomplishment.I'm new here too and am unsure what advice to give other than: listen to the others they seem to give good advice. The yoga and meditation is a great way to build serenity and peace. It's worked for me when I stay clean and commit to it everyday. The one thing I've learned is that anything worth while takes time. Welcome to the board!
i think i stopped the anti D's cos i thought i was ok and didnt need them no more i guess .
Now im thinking as im still not feeling rite in my head that it was a mistake to stop them .
its blantent that i have damaged my mind with my drug taking and that i need some sort of help , so i think in the new year ill be seeing my doctor again and start the anti d's and start getting into a routine of excercise and try out sum meditation and yoga as all u guys seem to advise
Now im thinking as im still not feeling rite in my head that it was a mistake to stop them .
its blantent that i have damaged my mind with my drug taking and that i need some sort of help , so i think in the new year ill be seeing my doctor again and start the anti d's and start getting into a routine of excercise and try out sum meditation and yoga as all u guys seem to advise
Hi Deckio! I think I can relate to what you are saying about that weird feeling in your head. I get it too. I went on antidepressants for awhile but for me they made it worse. I know for some the right medication helps. This time the weird feeling in my head came when I relapsed and started the smoke after 10 months clean. I felt like I was shooting lidocaine into my brain. Everyday I have to start out praying and then keep it up all day and night. Driving home tonight with the moon shining and the sky clear, it felt really good to be straight. I am home now and the fire is going and the dogs are fed. God is always clear so I have to count on him to help me when I am not. I know that better days are coming....
thinks about going on St. John's Wort it has been proven to be effective for depression and has been used for ages. in studies it has worked just as well as prescription meds, look it up online, and the side effects are much less. I'm taking it now.
I have the same problems as you. esp these last 5 yrs, and I have a b**** wife who emotionally abuses me all the time. sometimes i just can't bear it. i really think she is so mean that she wants me to relapse, because when i'm straight i'm at my best and a powerful useful person, i think she is jealous inside because she hasn't been able to make her life, like i've made mine.
i love my work, and i'm involved in many other activites, stoned or straight. but without doubt i'm not at my best when smoking. i feel guilty and i should. these last 10 years, i've flipflopped 18 mo.'s on, 18 mo.'s off. when i go back on, it feels so warm and fuzzy and i'm glad to be back there. then it catches up with me and i feel guilty and can't look in the mirrow, i know i'm doing wrong.
but, remember this, it might not all be the pot, my wife and many others i know are totally f'ed up and they have not drug problem whatsoever, life in general can be very hard, no matter what. good luck bro, STAY OFF THE POT.
I have the same problems as you. esp these last 5 yrs, and I have a b**** wife who emotionally abuses me all the time. sometimes i just can't bear it. i really think she is so mean that she wants me to relapse, because when i'm straight i'm at my best and a powerful useful person, i think she is jealous inside because she hasn't been able to make her life, like i've made mine.
i love my work, and i'm involved in many other activites, stoned or straight. but without doubt i'm not at my best when smoking. i feel guilty and i should. these last 10 years, i've flipflopped 18 mo.'s on, 18 mo.'s off. when i go back on, it feels so warm and fuzzy and i'm glad to be back there. then it catches up with me and i feel guilty and can't look in the mirrow, i know i'm doing wrong.
but, remember this, it might not all be the pot, my wife and many others i know are totally f'ed up and they have not drug problem whatsoever, life in general can be very hard, no matter what. good luck bro, STAY OFF THE POT.
dancer can u describe the felling in ur head !
with me its as if i have a muffled feeling like a head cold all the time , and i also find being on the pc alot also makes this feeling worse and also makes my eyes feel tired and strained .
Its alot like i have sumthing on my mind all the time making it tense and under alot of pressure.
I find it nice to sit in a dark room as it tends to relax my mind but feel in the day i need sumthing else to ease and relax my mind so im not sure if i need medication for that !
im also going ot get my eyes tested out as i do feel alot of strain on then when using the pc looking at the screen for periods of time and think it mite be a cause of the way my mind feels .
with me its as if i have a muffled feeling like a head cold all the time , and i also find being on the pc alot also makes this feeling worse and also makes my eyes feel tired and strained .
Its alot like i have sumthing on my mind all the time making it tense and under alot of pressure.
I find it nice to sit in a dark room as it tends to relax my mind but feel in the day i need sumthing else to ease and relax my mind so im not sure if i need medication for that !
im also going ot get my eyes tested out as i do feel alot of strain on then when using the pc looking at the screen for periods of time and think it mite be a cause of the way my mind feels .
Most people stop their antidepressant because they think they dont need them anymore because they are feeling better. It is because the anti depressants are WORKING. It is just like antibiotics, we get a script take them a few days, feel better and stop taking them because who really wants to take medications everyday? No one.
Not sure about that weird feeling in your head, how long did you say you had quit the anti dep? did you taper or just stop?
Do you have migraines?
Not sure about that weird feeling in your head, how long did you say you had quit the anti dep? did you taper or just stop?
Do you have migraines?
deckio-
well you might try increasing the size of the font in the programs you use most frequently, I was having the same problem in IM and that seemed to help, just moving from 12pt. to 14pt. Not that you souldn't go see a doctor about yor eyes, mind you.
You mentioned sitting in a dark room helps. Have you ever tried meditating? Yoga, and buddisim along with most eastern religions place a lot ot stock in that, it dosen't cost anything and can't hurt, maybe you should give it a try.
well you might try increasing the size of the font in the programs you use most frequently, I was having the same problem in IM and that seemed to help, just moving from 12pt. to 14pt. Not that you souldn't go see a doctor about yor eyes, mind you.
You mentioned sitting in a dark room helps. Have you ever tried meditating? Yoga, and buddisim along with most eastern religions place a lot ot stock in that, it dosen't cost anything and can't hurt, maybe you should give it a try.
Hi! Let's see the feeling in my head is more like stress and hopelesslessness. It is emotional pain. When it gets really bad I can't think, I can't concentrate. My feelings get hurt very easily which is hard because I work with a culture that can be very unkind. I want to run out of my job and go cry. Pot used to take that away but then I ended up not being able to think on that either. Breathing prayer and exercise is what seems to help me plus being with my true none high friends. Dancer
