after three and a half months without a smoke i bought some on thursday last week.. and bought some more yesterday :(
bit disappointed with myself but i knew i was getting to a danger point, the couple of weeks beforehand the cravings started up again. still not sure why and i wasn't able this time to avoid them. then my friend who had also given up suggested we get some. it didn't take me long to decide and ten minutes later my first J.
i booked to see a counsellor when i started getting cravings again, but i'm not due to see her till tomorrow.. anyway not much to say other than that.
hope you're all doing well, Trying.
Hi mate! Its just so bloody hard aint it!
Ive been on H but the cravings are no different.
I find its like a merrygo round. I can get to about 2 months max and then I give in to my cravings again.
I actually used yesterday and today, and yep, I feel real dissapointed to! But, youve booked in with your councillor which is good.
Will we ever get throu without it??I hope so!
I just feel so weak but as soon as ive had one tiny smoke I feel so much better-untill it wears off then the depression sets in.But that just makes me wanna use again!
As I said A f'ing merry go round!
Ive been on H but the cravings are no different.
I find its like a merrygo round. I can get to about 2 months max and then I give in to my cravings again.
I actually used yesterday and today, and yep, I feel real dissapointed to! But, youve booked in with your councillor which is good.
Will we ever get throu without it??I hope so!
I just feel so weak but as soon as ive had one tiny smoke I feel so much better-untill it wears off then the depression sets in.But that just makes me wanna use again!
As I said A f'ing merry go round!
Joolzy, you just backed up a point of view that I have had for many years: addiction is addiction, no matter the drug of choice. So many people who smoke pot addictively think that their situation is different because they have heard that pot does not have the element of physical withdrawal. They are wrong.
I know many recovering heroin addicts and most of them were at a point were they were using just to avoid getting dope sick at the end. I was on fentanyl last year for cancer, and I can tell you that simply getting through the physical withdrawals is the easy part of the process.
Everyone discounts how hard it is to simply make it through the day without the high (or low) that the drug provides. Everyone thinks they will remember how miserable they felt when they finally decided to quit, only to find themselves missing it to the point of craving it. Many just switch addictions: from H to Oxy, from Coke to Meth, from Pot to Booze, rinse, and repeat.
There is always a good reason to take this pill, just until things even out. Every seen a car stuck in the snow spinning its wheels? They gun the engine to try to overpower the snow and wind up just digging in deeper.
Add to the mix that the average pot smoker is often still getting a very strong kick from the drug, they are just as ill prepared to face life without the high as is someone who is addicted to opiates.
We are all in the same boat. We are all just garden variety junkies, whether we jut got out of Yale or just out of Jail. The big question is, how far are willing to go to get clean and stay clean. Are we willing to actually acknowledge that it takes more than our mistaken sense of will power or are we destined to repeat the past again and again as I did for nearly two decades?
Good luck. Keep trying.
August
I know many recovering heroin addicts and most of them were at a point were they were using just to avoid getting dope sick at the end. I was on fentanyl last year for cancer, and I can tell you that simply getting through the physical withdrawals is the easy part of the process.
Everyone discounts how hard it is to simply make it through the day without the high (or low) that the drug provides. Everyone thinks they will remember how miserable they felt when they finally decided to quit, only to find themselves missing it to the point of craving it. Many just switch addictions: from H to Oxy, from Coke to Meth, from Pot to Booze, rinse, and repeat.
There is always a good reason to take this pill, just until things even out. Every seen a car stuck in the snow spinning its wheels? They gun the engine to try to overpower the snow and wind up just digging in deeper.
Add to the mix that the average pot smoker is often still getting a very strong kick from the drug, they are just as ill prepared to face life without the high as is someone who is addicted to opiates.
We are all in the same boat. We are all just garden variety junkies, whether we jut got out of Yale or just out of Jail. The big question is, how far are willing to go to get clean and stay clean. Are we willing to actually acknowledge that it takes more than our mistaken sense of will power or are we destined to repeat the past again and again as I did for nearly two decades?
Good luck. Keep trying.
August
The ultimate definition of insanity is doing or trying the same thing over and over and over again and expecting a different result.
The question for many is, after trying your way, are you ready to try another way ?
Something different ?
if so, consider this course of action --
call your local AA, NA or MA chapter (the numbers are in the phone book -- usually the yellow pages), get the schedule and locations of local meetings, go to a meeting today or tonite, after the meeting starts tell them your first name and that you have a desire to stop using.
after that, don't use one day at a time and go to your meetings -- once a day if necessary at the beginning. twice a day if you need to. may sound like a lot of time at meetings, but compare it to the time you have taken using and making connections, etc.
there is no charge for the meetings.
thanks for posting and i wish you the best.
I dislike 12 stepping. It is not the only way. "Trying" I have been reading your posts and am sorry you p//u but it's part of the can of worms aka the addiction. If you want you can face it and turn around again and move on. No penatlies. You don't need a 12 step program to enforce your problems because it's up to you. If you fall, pick your self up and try again. Anything is better than sitting through those hokey meetings. Unless you like that kind of thing.
IMO
Respectfully,
Grace
IMO
Respectfully,
Grace
My dear grace, i love you and all God's creation. Peace be with you.
May joy, serenity, peace, love, happiness, self-contentment and lovliness be yours and reside with you. And peace in your household.
The suggestion that was laid out for Trying for consideration is not the only way, as you point out, but it is one way. And, as you know, there are many who have found what they are looking for -- abstinence, sobriety, recovery, fellowship and development of their spiritual life -- through utilization of the rooms and the steps.
Not only that, many have found a happiness that they never imagined.
Many (actually thousands over 70 years) have found a fulfilling life free of addiction, obsession, depression, hopelessness, and cravings through utilization of the steps.
There are just too many personal witnesses to that fact. It cannot be denied.
May peace and joy reside with you.
Grace wrote:
Anything is better than sitting through those hokey meetings.
Not true in my case. I found that suffering in addiction was far worse. I found the constant energy drain from either using or resisting the impulse to use to be something of a living hell after awhile. Meetings on the other hand, took a lot of work and struggle but eventually brought peace. I will say that I once made it 9 months using Grace's approach. Of course, I eventually relapsed, and that led to a period of about 4 years where I tried to control my using until I nearly lost everything.
Benjamin wrote:
"Many (actually thousands over 70 years) have found a fulfilling life free of addiction, obsession, depression, hopelessness, and cravings through utilization of the steps."
I think the real number is well into the millions. The meetings now take place in over 60 countries. Once, I was kayaking a wild river in Costa Rica, and floated past a little mountain village -- first thing I saw was a tiny hut with the AA triangle on it.
My suggestion would be to try it your way. If you are able to quit on your own, more power to you. If, on the other hand, you find yourself on a merry-go-round of use, abstinance, craving, and relapse, and you really want to stop living like that, you might consider giving it a try with an open mind for 90 meetings in 90 days. It will cost you no money, and if it does not work, we will cheerfully refund your misery.
All the best,
August
Anything is better than sitting through those hokey meetings.
Not true in my case. I found that suffering in addiction was far worse. I found the constant energy drain from either using or resisting the impulse to use to be something of a living hell after awhile. Meetings on the other hand, took a lot of work and struggle but eventually brought peace. I will say that I once made it 9 months using Grace's approach. Of course, I eventually relapsed, and that led to a period of about 4 years where I tried to control my using until I nearly lost everything.
Benjamin wrote:
"Many (actually thousands over 70 years) have found a fulfilling life free of addiction, obsession, depression, hopelessness, and cravings through utilization of the steps."
I think the real number is well into the millions. The meetings now take place in over 60 countries. Once, I was kayaking a wild river in Costa Rica, and floated past a little mountain village -- first thing I saw was a tiny hut with the AA triangle on it.
My suggestion would be to try it your way. If you are able to quit on your own, more power to you. If, on the other hand, you find yourself on a merry-go-round of use, abstinance, craving, and relapse, and you really want to stop living like that, you might consider giving it a try with an open mind for 90 meetings in 90 days. It will cost you no money, and if it does not work, we will cheerfully refund your misery.
All the best,
August
na is just not for everyone!!
i too hated the meetings! too much god stuff for me!
i too hated the meetings! too much god stuff for me!
To paraphrase Bob Dylan, we all serve somebody or something.
Even while avowing atheism, I had a very real and powerful God. It was the feeling I got when I got high.
The question is not whether we believe in a higher power, the question is what higher power do we believe in. For this addict, my higher power was dope. Plain and simple.
So how is your way working?
August
Even while avowing atheism, I had a very real and powerful God. It was the feeling I got when I got high.
The question is not whether we believe in a higher power, the question is what higher power do we believe in. For this addict, my higher power was dope. Plain and simple.
So how is your way working?
August
thanks for your replies guys, i am starting again today on giving up.. so today is my new 'day one'
seriously thinking about going to some meetings now, just need to look up when and where they are locally. i figure the worst that can happen is i hate it and walk out.. but the best could be that it actually helps. i have to face the fact i'm not getting very far on my own.
will let you know how i get on if and when i go :)
seriously thinking about going to some meetings now, just need to look up when and where they are locally. i figure the worst that can happen is i hate it and walk out.. but the best could be that it actually helps. i have to face the fact i'm not getting very far on my own.
will let you know how i get on if and when i go :)
Good luck, Trying. Let us know how you are doing.
August
August
A lot of good advice from you guys. My thoughts are this its what ever YOU have to do to gat where you need to be. And dont knock the next person for not doing it your way. But as for me. Iv relapsed on my jurny thru no weed land. my husband is in a rehabe center now and he is doing great. I must addmit that im jealouse. I know that his recovery is hard, and where it has taken him. And im thankful that God is working on him. But its just that he has come so far and im still relapsing. Also he is in a rehab in an hole other state. Im still here at home. dealing with every day things. And it just seems that he has the easier road. Im sorry, but thats how I feel. He gets free room and board, food clothing and so forth to get straight. not to mention on hand counseling,meds and whatever else he needs. But I get to pay bills , deal with kids, schools , family, work , money ,everything while he gets sober , and learns new ways to stay clean. im pissed and jealouse. thanks guys . sorry if i offended any one. realy am proud of my husband .
