......but ended up turned off again!
I attended a local meeting two times this week. I tried AA because five previous attempts with NA did not work for me. I definitely have a problem with the model, but I am trying to take what I can and make it work for me. This AA group seemed different. The same people were at both meetings and they were extremely kind and caring. I actually went last night because I was experiencing some anger/frustration due to the fact that most people in my life drink regularly and/or pop pills. You all know the feeling: "Why is it that I cannot handle it?"
So I tried to find a little solice on a Friday night when I felt like the only sober person in the world. The group is fairly intimate. The members sit around a large table. Somebody was talking about avoiding people who use and I sort of nodded my head. I actually shared for the first time, after that.
To my dismay, the group began treating me differently when I mentioned that I am taking suboxone. The details are not important here, but they told me that I was just "preparing to get sober." One person said, "I'm sure we all would like to take a magic pill to get better, but that's not reality."
I made a brief attempt to explain that I am going to a behaviorist and trying to attend meetings as part of a big plan. One member then asked the others if I should be allowed to share, or just listen. I politely told them that I understand and that I realize that I am still taking an opiate. I sat and tried to block the frustration for another 20 minutes until the meeting ended. A nice man called to me and offered me a copy of the Big Book, but I told him that I have one from another meeting. He told me to read it again and that I had to understand that the 12-step model is the only way to gain sobriety. He said a couple more things to me about addiction being the problem, not simply pills or booze. He was quite nice.
Needless to say, I will not go back to that meeting. I think I was most put-off by the fact that theyt were talking ABOUT me, not TO me when they were discussing suboxone.
I have not had a hydocodone pill, drink, or puff since May 2nd. I meet with a rational behavior counselor once-a-week. I feel that I AM working at sobriety. I think the reason I was so frustrated about friends/family drinking etc. is that I know I will never be able to even "have a little." My point is that I am going at sobriety full-force. With two toddlers, a full-time job, etc. I don't want to waste time being judged at these meetings. People keep telling me: "you'll find one that is right for you." I just don't think so.
Peace,
Jer
Unfortunately if you tell them at an NA/AA meeting that your taking Suboxone or Methadone you will usually get that reaction from someone.
In the scheme of things Suboxone is a fairly new treatment.I bet 90% of people in AA have never even heard of it?
A lot of people that take Suboxone do not share that they do.
At least you are trying.It's really up to you.
There are other support groups out there that you might check out.If you live in a major city there are lots of things in churches and community centers that might be set up a little different.
Another thing to remember about any AA or NA group is that it's the 12 steps and principles in which the program revolves around.I had to try and purposely keep peoples personalities seperate.You don't have to like everyone.That's not a requirement.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking or using.
I would say that you fit that criteria.I got to a point that if someone gave me any attitude I would just say "F*ck em"........but I'm glad I didn't dismiss the whole program because of a few.
Good Luck
In the scheme of things Suboxone is a fairly new treatment.I bet 90% of people in AA have never even heard of it?
A lot of people that take Suboxone do not share that they do.
At least you are trying.It's really up to you.
There are other support groups out there that you might check out.If you live in a major city there are lots of things in churches and community centers that might be set up a little different.
Another thing to remember about any AA or NA group is that it's the 12 steps and principles in which the program revolves around.I had to try and purposely keep peoples personalities seperate.You don't have to like everyone.That's not a requirement.
The only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking or using.
I would say that you fit that criteria.I got to a point that if someone gave me any attitude I would just say "F*ck em"........but I'm glad I didn't dismiss the whole program because of a few.
Good Luck
DANGIT DANGIT DANGIT-that infuriates me-whatever thier "OPINION" is they should never have been so rude,thank god you have some other supports--pleaseplease dont let the bad peopleat meetings keep you from the wonderful awesomw ones--too bad that man has to be fearful and didnt feel that he could come to you in front of the others and offer you his kindness--y'know i knew there was a reason i have yet to tell my home aa group im on methadone--people just dont realize or know about opiate replacements opinions are like a**holes everyone has one i havent even told my sponsor and its eating me up--my fear is because of these exact situations and i dont go around high all day i am coming off of it but it is definately something that takes time and i resent the fact that people may not want me to talk--if i went to meeting and didnt speak i would use--is that what people want its diifferent if i was nodding off in the middle of the dang meeting but youd never know i was on it if i didnt tell you. I totally respect the traditions and all the guidelines set in place but my world is ever-evolving and my recovery is my recover--i have to do what works for me---agghhh im mad--PLEASE PLEAS find another meeting--this is no excuse to not continue with the program, dont go there you will find a meeting or a group that works for you just keep puttin that foot forward my friend and if you need a friend ill be your friend heres my e-mail amitywkcmo24@yahoo.com
it happened to me!!!!!
i got into the hugest argument with my FORMER sponsor because she was infuriated that i shared at a na meeting despite her telling me not to that i was on sub.
i didnt mean to disrespect her in any way, it frustrated me that i could not honestly share this at a meeting and i so wanted to help another suffering addict.
i believe that the principles need to be updated as sub is so new. when those were formed no one new about it.
i dont share about it anymore to avoid conflict but dang it i shouldnt feel that way.
this will never stop me from going to meetings, i became so defensive with my sponsor that i argued back at her saying you are just jealous that you didnt have sub when you were first withdrawing.
my gosh this has saved my life!!!! why should i have to not share that?
aa forget them they do not like na'ers in my opinion.
never have i ever been to an organization that is so closeminded.
my rehab education and meetings were 99% aa.
boy did i get flack for saying i am a addict at meetings, the old timers especially hurt my feelings, here i am in rehab with my detox bracelet still on my wrist, scared, new at this and how dare them come at me at a meeting for saying i am an addict, i was so hurt that it was suggested to me that i not introduce myself as hi i am julie and i am an addict, they were trying to come up with different ways to introduce my self, forget that! i aint lying! na would never balk about a aa person being at our meetings, i seen them there i have heard them introduce themselves as hi i am so and so and i am an alcoholic or i am an alcoholic addict... we say WELCOME! we dont get insecure like that old fart did at AA.
dont let ANYONE or ANYTHING stop you from going to meetings to hear the message, it has taken numerous meetings and alot of fear to finally enjoy them.
sub, man it gets a lot of flack but in my opinion it helped this poor addict who couldnt do it on her own, where would i be today if it wasnt available? out there still using, i too, have not had one pain pill, puff of dope or alcohol since july 10th 2006! i am coming up on my year! and i am clean too despite what others may want to argue and i could not be saying this if it hadnt been for God, sub and meetings. so keep on keeping on! love jewels
i got into the hugest argument with my FORMER sponsor because she was infuriated that i shared at a na meeting despite her telling me not to that i was on sub.
i didnt mean to disrespect her in any way, it frustrated me that i could not honestly share this at a meeting and i so wanted to help another suffering addict.
i believe that the principles need to be updated as sub is so new. when those were formed no one new about it.
i dont share about it anymore to avoid conflict but dang it i shouldnt feel that way.
this will never stop me from going to meetings, i became so defensive with my sponsor that i argued back at her saying you are just jealous that you didnt have sub when you were first withdrawing.
my gosh this has saved my life!!!! why should i have to not share that?
aa forget them they do not like na'ers in my opinion.
never have i ever been to an organization that is so closeminded.
my rehab education and meetings were 99% aa.
boy did i get flack for saying i am a addict at meetings, the old timers especially hurt my feelings, here i am in rehab with my detox bracelet still on my wrist, scared, new at this and how dare them come at me at a meeting for saying i am an addict, i was so hurt that it was suggested to me that i not introduce myself as hi i am julie and i am an addict, they were trying to come up with different ways to introduce my self, forget that! i aint lying! na would never balk about a aa person being at our meetings, i seen them there i have heard them introduce themselves as hi i am so and so and i am an alcoholic or i am an alcoholic addict... we say WELCOME! we dont get insecure like that old fart did at AA.
dont let ANYONE or ANYTHING stop you from going to meetings to hear the message, it has taken numerous meetings and alot of fear to finally enjoy them.
sub, man it gets a lot of flack but in my opinion it helped this poor addict who couldnt do it on her own, where would i be today if it wasnt available? out there still using, i too, have not had one pain pill, puff of dope or alcohol since july 10th 2006! i am coming up on my year! and i am clean too despite what others may want to argue and i could not be saying this if it hadnt been for God, sub and meetings. so keep on keeping on! love jewels